It's been 4 months since divorce. I'm doing great, still have those random days but it is what it is. I decided before divorce that I'd rather not talk about my kids mother to them in any capacity unless they needed to talk to me or brought her up. I figured when they get older they'll see and figure out who she is whether it's good or bad.

Well my oldest, only 8, I think is starting to realize. My oldest broke down and said she's tired of hoping each day will be different. She's tired of constantly being yelled at.

Now, my 8 year old isn't your typical 8 year old sometimes I forget shes only 8 and it feels like I'm speaking with another adult at times. 99.9% of the time she's a saint. I virtually have no issues when she's with me. Very rarely does she give me any issues but every once in awhile it's expected she's still a child and emotions get the best of us.

My fricken heart broke when she said her mom makes her feel like she's not good enough, makes her feel like she can't do anything right. Because she's always being yelled at. I asked if she ever told her mom how this makes her feel and she said she told her and that she was told, "Maybe if you'd listen I wouldn't have to yell." I asked if she wanted me to bring this up to her mom and she was crying shaking her head yes.

Now I refuse to have any long discussion in person or over phone call with the ex if possible about any matters. So I texted the ex and told her she may need to have a heart to heart with our oldest and told her exactly what happened.

Anyone ever deal with this? I really don't want any of my kids feeling like this ever. This isn't the first time my oldest has brought this up either it's just this time she opened up about it. The other thing is I really don't want this becoming a thing where I am essentially the middleman or it becomes this game of back and forth.

I'm looking for some ideas or guidance on how to best resolve these issues and/or future ones that come about.