Why are men often overlooked as victims of domestic abuse?

Current_Finding_4066 · 2024-09-07T17:10:57+00:00

A police officer I know said that almost 70% of the domestic violence calls he took were women abusing men. Apparently they were afraid to report them as no one would take them seriously

Punder_man · 2024-09-07T19:58:55+00:00

The answer is, the Duluth Model of Domestic Violence (Thanks Feminists)
This model, dreamed up and implemented by Feminists still influences how domestic violence is treated in our society.

The model is incredibly biased and assumes that in every case of DV involving a man and a woman;
The man is ALWAYS the abuser / aggressor
The woman is ALWAYS the victim..

This has lead to policy where police are required to arrest the man by default when responding to a DV call.
This in turn has the effect of erasing male victims from the statistics because after all.. you can't be a victim if you are by default the "Abuser"
Even worse is that male victims are often told when reaching out for help that they are actually the abusers or when arrested are forced to take anger management classes and treated as an abuser.

As such the statistics show a pattern of "Men committing domestic violence against women" which then feeds into the feminist narrative of "Men are violent" (The same thing happens with Rape statistics too)
Despite one of the original creators agreeing that the model is biased and based upon assumed conclusions and what they wanted to find they still claim the model is valid.

TL;DR: FEMINISTS are directly responsible for men being overlooked as victims of domestic violence and rape at the hands of women..
But of course they don't see it that way... they simply see it as men are violent and so men need to fix other men who are violent...

ConsiderationSea1347 · 2024-09-07T18:43:06+00:00

There is a tapestry of reasons. From a very young age boys are taught one of the worst things that could happen to them is to be “beat up by a girl.” Because boys may be more violent by nature but teachers, coaches, and parents work tirelessly to teach boys to control their anger; when girls are violent it rarely has a modicum of the consequences. Beating men is accompanied by laugh tracks in most tv shows and movies, beating a woman in one of the most horrific things that can be depicted in fiction. Even in movies and shows when there are “NPC” characters on the receiving end of violence to demonstrate how strong the hero is they are ALWAYS men. The list goes on and on.

Finlander95 · 2024-09-07T19:49:59+00:00

This reminds me of news of female emergency line worker getting fired after she started laughing on the phone and asked the caller is he really getting beat up by a woman.

4theheadz · 2024-09-07T22:45:05+00:00

There are SO many reasons it gets overlooked, and most of it is because we as victims are suffering in total silence for fear of either being not believed, shamed, straight up accused of lying (or worse lying to cover up the fact that WE are the abusers) or all of the above:

Men are not believed regularly by normal police officers and in fact in many instances are instantly accused of being the perpetrator: https://research.tees.ac.uk/en/publications/mens-experiences-of-the-uk-criminal-justice-system-following-fema

As a result of how men are treated and raised in society, they are far less likely to talk about their emotions, domestic abuse and general mental health for fear of being perceived as weak or "unmanly".

https://insight.cumbria.ac.uk/id/eprint/4367/1/Impact%20and%20perceptions%20paper%20final.pdf

This issue is far more widespread and reaches into the medical system, in which men are regularly not diagnosed or given treatment for serious mental health conditions. There is a very obvious gender bias that has an absolutely devastating effect on men's mental health and often becomes life threatening or just straight up kills us (I very nearly became a part of that grossly overinflated statistic).

Men are less likely than women to have their mental health problems (including signs of domestic abuse) identified by primary care physicians https://link.springer.com/article/10.1046/j.1525-1497.2000.12088.x - gender is a huge factor in the help they receive.

Men are less likely to have what are typically seen as "feminine" traits of mental health diagnosed in them: https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&lr=&id=g8ABAwAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PP1&ots=6gUvdJfifE&sig=CGG6MSvhokeYeFGVUCyazJbrqAI&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Another massive factor is the fact that a far higher majority of men do not feel they are able to actually reach out or talk about their issues and as a result are far less likely than women to seek the help they need ( https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1365-2648.2004.03331.x )

Men are less able to develop higher quality social relationships than women are and on average have fewer, meaning they find it harder and have less people to talk about their issues with:

https://www.unihohenheim.de/fileadmin/einrichtungen/hcecon/Dateien_und_Bilder/Dateien/Gender_und_Gesundheit/SS_10/Courtenay__2003__-_Key_determinants_of_the_health_and_the_well-being_of_men_and_boys.pdf

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1359105302007003215

Men are more likely to engage in isolating activities like seriously heavy drinking and drug abuse making them more likely to isolate themselves and not talk about abuse:

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1360-0443.2000.95225112.x

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/2156869312474828

Women think they all have this daily uphill climb assigned from birth that not a single man could ever empathise with because of some perceived "privilege" that comes from having a cock; they have absolutely no idea what some of us (most of us, suicide is the BIGGEST KILLER OF MEN 15-50yo) have to go through on a daily basis.

g1455ofwater · 2024-09-07T20:51:58+00:00

It stems from the lack of empathy. The premise of men getting help is argued from an equality perspective(women get it and men should too) and I am a believer in that strategy, but that strategy wouldn't be needed as much and men would get better help overall if the pain of men was met with empathy.

I also think the lack of empathy makes it harder for men to get help with issues that women don't deal with as much as men since those issue are more easily dismissed as non-issues by a society that only cares about women's issues.

Background_End_5067 · 2024-09-08T01:37:47+00:00

I’m a male victim of domestic violence. My ex-girlfriend punched me in the head until I lost consciousness. We are roughly the same size and weight.

tms79 · 2024-09-08T06:08:40+00:00

You guys are forgetting one of the biggest factors. It's money. Erin Pizzey mentioned it in her books. It's a billion dollar industry and those women's organisations wanna keep their monopoly position since it's a zero-sum game. NGO's and governments can only donate a finite amount of money. Thats why a shitton of women's organisations fought a few months ago in Italy heavily against the activists, that tried to bring awareness to male victims of domestic violence. According to Erin Pizzey, a good chunk of the money gets funnelled into law's that support/favors feminism.

LouieXMartin · 2024-09-07T19:55:58+00:00

Because men don't care about other men, and most women have no empathy for stranger men either. So...

HandsomeJack44 · 2024-09-08T04:17:36+00:00

Last five words of your title are unnecessary, in current year

South-Steak-7810 · 2024-09-08T19:59:14+00:00

Here’s research on domestic violence. Woman are the perpetrators of one sided Domestic Violence 70% of the time in heterosexual relationships.

“From a study done on 18761 heterosexual relationships. In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases. Source: Differences in Frequency of Violence and Reported Injury Between Relationships With Reciprocal and Nonreciprocal Intimate Partner Violence”

Ash5150 · 2024-09-08T00:21:33+00:00

Why? Because men are completely and utterly Disposable, unlike women.

Street_Celery_260 · 2024-09-08T07:20:50+00:00

Because men are big and strong and women aren’t conniving at all so how could they even be considered

2024-09-08T21:54:04+00:00

I've been hit many times, I should have reported it.

She strangled me a few times, grabbed me, and tossed herself to the floor, screamed at me, and spit at me. I told her to her family, my family, the religious priests, and even the therapists. The standard answer was......well, she said she didn't do it, so one of you is lying... but they're all acting as if nothing happened... so the obvious reality was that they didn't believe me.

No one would ever believe me, except just have the doubt in their minds, at best.

The thing is that as soon as she accused me of domestic violence, and all of a sudden, it was time to intervene, and we had a real problem and grounds for many interventions.

The worst ones were the guys that took her side.

Her dad, total hypocrisy. His wife did the same thing to him. She lied about abuse to get a divorce "justifiably," that was his story. When his daughter did that to me, he turned on me fast. That right there is when I realized he deserved every drop of pain he kept complaining about for years about how much his wife did him wrong. Who knows how many times he defended his wife and daughters when they were abusing others.

The other was one of my brother's, who turned on everyone who took my side, even our mother, kicked her out of her own house mid argument bc she was making my ex "feel unsafe." They went on to become best pals about how abusive and psychopathic I was, during a health crisis, mind you. Fast forward a year, his wife cheated on him, that boy bis still with her, with years of pain ahead for him.

I'm just telling this story, don't be me, and don't be that guy, and don't be that "dad." Enabling bad behavior is what gets things to go really bad.

If enough people actually believed her, I'd be in jail right now.

Imaginary-Comfort712 · 2024-09-07T18:06:09+00:00

The official reason I heard was that most victims were women (at least they acknowledged that there are also male victims) and that the physical harm provoked by males is more serious. Another reason is that a lot of man (also politicians) like to be seen as protector of women. Feminist men, but also conservative ones.

throwawayFI12 · 2024-09-08T06:48:25+00:00

Society and feminism refuses to see men as victims of abuse.

RSA1RSA · 2024-09-08T15:16:08+00:00

Good to see this sub with actual posts about men's rights. Tired of dating whining. Men get no sympathy from society. If you're down, you'll just get more kicks. We as men must start this deprograming within ourselves and start looking after other men in trouble.

D1dntR3adIt · 2025-03-10T09:57:00+00:00

Long-story-short, look at the Duluth model. The way it's used in policing is that it directs police to assume them man is the perpetrator of domestic violence because he is bigger. There is no direct law that says ASSUME THE MAN IN THE PERPETRATOR. Instead, the duluth model is built-in to policies that tell police to look at who has the greatest need' for 'protection'.

Effectively, it tells cops to assume that because the man s physically bigger (biollogy, dating preferecned, 6-ft-tall) he is automatically in less need of protection so because they have to give some one the piece of paper that says they are the perpetrator, they give it to the male and let the courts sort it out. Job done. The police get to say 'job done', the politicians get to pat themselves on the back throwing out public figures to say how manny women they have helped. It gets to the judgges and no judge wants to be the one who made a bad call letting a domestic abuser go to beat his wife. So the male, even if he is the victim, gets labeled as the perpetrator.

When the male tries to get help, most of the DV lines are about telling the guy he is abusive instead of actually offering tangible help.

As far as the stories of cops laughing when males report domestic violence ... surprise!!! Cops do this type of shit all the time; it's just easier to get away with it when it's a male reporting DV, because if it ever comes back to bite the cop in the ass it's easier to explainn not takinng this seriously to their supervisor than if a woman gets bashed.

I was going to include links to sources, but if you are writing an assignnemnt, the poinnt is for you to find out these things. Goood on you for doin this topic, here are some starting points:

google gynocenntric society - it is a concept that women are a resource that need to be protected while men are only worth what resources they can provide

type 'man domestic violence victom calls police arrested' into youtube I would highlight specific videos but there are so many that it's hard to pick one. Think aboout what would happen if they DIDN'T have video evidence.

Beligerent · 2025-03-20T21:37:09+00:00

I think people dont want to believe women are capable of that. Im a victim of domestic violence and hell I dont even want to admit it. I placed a police report, nothing was done.

CupBudget2857 · 2025-08-10T10:56:41+00:00

Simply because one happens more than the other and one is worse than the other and one has been happening in mass since the dawn of civilization Men abusing women often leads to her death men are significantly stronger and more violent than women Wouldn't call 28% a significant percentage imo but thats just me also you cannot realistically expect people to take notice of an abuse that they don't know about if men were able to be more open people would be able to help them

Rickmyrolls · 2024-09-08T06:31:15+00:00

As a victim of domestic abuse I got kicked from the abusive relationships channel after posting 1 comment where I supported an OP.

A mod had then lurked my history and banned me because I was a member of Mens rights.

I appealed it to reddit, they didn’t give a fuck, now I’m waiting for the EU appeal because this shit is traumatizing.

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2024-09-07T21:36:54+00:00

Because men vote "conservative" too much.

Title	Why are men often overlooked as victims of domestic abuse?
Author	RealStarkey
Upvotes	257
Comments	49
Date	September 7, 2024 4:40 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1fbb7f3/why_are_men_often_overlooked_as_victims_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-are-men-often-overlooked-as-victims-of.1529733 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529733

Comments