Girlfriend love me to death it seems, sex is great, but what is really going on under the hood?

dr_warlock · 2015-08-29T20:56:08+00:00

but RP tells me she's a little slut that'll cheat on me as soon as I miss a workout of somethig. (Exaggeration i know)

She's not yours, it's just your turn. Enjoy it for what is, enjoy it while it lasts, and understand any decent looking woman (not even that) can have sex anytime she wants, just stop worrying about it. It's not like you're married with children.

keepclosed · 2015-08-30T14:10:41+00:00

She's probably thinking about how great this all is and how she deserves it and deserves you

Test the water with some soft dread. The reason you are improving yourself is so that at any moments notice you could walk away with your abundance mentality.

Obviously reward her good behaviour.

RedPillJax · 2015-08-29T23:11:40+00:00

She wants to see if this is real before she surrenders to the submissive role she craves.

Think about it with a Captain / First Mate dynamic. If the Captain had been hiding drinking in his cabin for months, and the First Mate had grudgingly had to take over all his duties that he didn't want in the first place - when the Captain emerges sober and capable and takes back over the reins, is the First Mate going to accept it as fact?

Fuck no.

Even though the FM is relieved to have the dynamic back they signed up for, they're wary to see if the Captain is going to open another bottle and disappear back into his cabin for another voyage.

Stay the course, this is a normal phase. Get ready for shit-tests to come out of the woodwork.

SkorchZang · 2015-08-30T00:11:06+00:00

Women get happy when the man in their life mans up, incredibly happy. And it's surprising even to herself. She'll act more feminine, defer to you (and enjoy it), might get a tad more territorial and try to keep other women the hell away from you.

Always keep your girl a little bit insecure in a charming, loving way. Keep her in an exciting state of "working on taming you" all the time, don't give up the chips and call the game done - that's the biggest mistake, getting a GF signed up for your one man show, and then deciding you don't need to put up a show any more. You still need to, more than ever.

If she's happy, and she's working hard on trying to tame you, then the likelyhood that she'll stray is much lower. A woman's like a cat, she's happiest when she is chasing. Rest, peace, domestic bliss - are things that you have to be careful with, they can kill attraction if it becomes "too easy" to get you.

Whisper · 2015-08-30T08:21:14+00:00

Don't overthink things. Whether something is going to last for two weeks or two years or the rest of your life, your moves are the same.

Treat her the way her current behaviour warrants. She treats you good, give her attention.

AWALT means "be prepared to walk away if she does something", not "psychologically check out before anything is visibly wrong". It means "any woman can cheat", not "every woman will cheat".

You are suffering from imposter syndrome, my young friend. Second case I've run into this week. When TRP stuff starts working, it takes a lot longer to stop feeling like a loser than it takes to actually stop being one.

But to her, you are your behaviour, not the feelings you have in the privacy of your head. If it's working, keep working it.

Freddy_Fedora · 2015-08-29T22:55:49+00:00

Can I ask how long youve been dating?

DwightWolftail · 2015-08-29T20:21:56+00:00

She tries to lock him down . Nothing wrong has happened . Just keep at it . Keep improving .

tallwheel · 2015-08-31T08:12:57+00:00

Since you have been dating for two years, and presumably weren't as alpha when you first started, I would imagine she is having trouble accepting you as an alpha. If you were ever beta in her mind, you will always be beta to some extent.

TheOuterRing · 2015-08-30T04:07:58+00:00

You're not trusting her - you're cynical.

The RP guide says not to come out with your gender, but I feel like this one time where it's actually relevant. As a female (I know, I sinned), I have the same damn struggle with men. I was worried, all the time, that no matter what I did, I would get cheated on. Because men are men. And men are pigs. And because all a woman is is a trophy. And I got cynical. It wasn't in my nature. I hate being negative.

In my current relationship, I had the same feelings nagging at my brain (my hamster gnawing away) because of everything I've ever been told about men. And the fact that RP is obsessed with pump and dump right now didn't help.

But I feel something different with this guy. I genuinely enjoy him, and feel safe with him...I feel at home. I truly do when he comes home and I and see him. And so I let the walls down. I used to fear once I hit 30 that I was gone, no matter what I did. No matter how wonderful I behaved/looked. Because AMALT, or so I believed. That a man was going to fuck an 18 year old any chance he got, because it's his "privilege", or whatever men are spewing out right now.

But that's silly. And I just had to accept that. And in doing so, I trust my partner. And holy crap is that scary. That means this could blow up in my face. But I don't care. Because if I let my cynical mind take over, then I could miss out on the relationship I've been waiting for for all my life.

And honestly, the joy I have felt so far is worth the risk. I know he will be a good partner as long as I keep working out, bettering myself, taking care of him, giving what I can to make the relationship work, etc. And he does the same in return. And in the end, we compliment each other so well that I'd be an idiot to fear anything.

Point of the story - it goes both ways. Women are just as terrified of being hurt because men have such a bad reputation. RP does a horrible representation of women. There are those that make the stereotype stay alive, but truly...it's not as bleak as it seems. It's really just a bunch of guys that got burned. It's what feminism was in its origins. So I come here to help point that when I see it to hopefully help a few guys not become cynical bitches that some women are now.

We already have feminists. We don't need "Menists".

If it feels right, and boundaries are set, and if she knows that this could end any moment that one of you stops giving a damn about the relationship, then proceed. Not all women are whores. We want love too. Of course there are gold diggers, just like there are true man whores. But keep your alpha frame, keep the sex pleasurable, and treat her well when she deserves it...and if that is maintained, and she does the same in return in her own obligations, then it should be fine. At this point the only divider will be unforseen changes of heart. That does happen, AWALT or not. People change. Man and woman. That's why you date before marriage, to see if you're compatible enough to change with them if something like that happens.

ThrowingMyslfOutther · 2015-08-30T02:14:01+00:00

what's going on in her head

What's going on in your head? Are you one of those people that self-sabotages things?

Title	Girlfriend love me to death it seems, sex is great, but what is really going on under the hood?
Author	Polandsprangs
Upvotes	6
Comments	20
Date	August 29, 2015 8:14 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3ivpiu/girlfriend_love_me_to_death_it_seems_sex_is_great/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/girlfriend-love-me-to-death-it-seems-sex-is-great.153158 https://theredarchive.com/post/153158

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