It occurs to me that a guy wants to get the girl HE wants, when in reality, most hook ups are initiated in some way, shape or form by the girl. Either she'll post'n herself or look at you, etc. Now, let's say you spot the girl you're interested in, and she's not giving you any signs, but fuck it. You head over. I think approach anxiety hits b/c you're thinking what you don't want to happen- get rejected. But here's the kicker. You can't go for what you do want- hooking up. So what do you do? Think of some guy at the bar sitting by you, and you strike up a conversation. If the guy's cool, you continue to chit chat. All you're determining is if this guy's worth your time to speak to at the moment. That's the answer. You don't go up trying to succeed, you merely see if this person is worth your time. Then get to the things that matter that you should spend time here figuring out- escalating and closing.

So I'm talking w/ some girl last week and got into semantic debate over the term 'pussy' as a derogatory term (for men) and she said, "it's misogynistic. Why not say cocks instead?" To which I replied, "a cock is hard and strong, a pussy is warm and soft. That's the etymology." So she says, "That's the problem." To which I reply, "What is the problem?" Nothing to say so she goes, "I'm gonna leave you w/ that." So I nonchalantly go back to reading my book as she tries to say 'nice to meet you' or some fake exit line.

The point is, who cares? She shows she's a pain in the ass and not worth my time. I think we as men get fixated on a girl and don't allow the connection to be there or not. We want to CONTROL the outcome instead of accepting that most girls aren't gonna work out. And that's okay. In sales we had a motto- every no gets you closer to a yes. Sometimes, even by accepting the discord, the girl can come around back into your frame. But the minute you simp to her world view (assuming it clashes w/ yours), you are cooked.