Once again, I’ve hooked up with a cute goth girl from Tinder and in my charitable spirits, I’ll tell you all exactly how I did it! This is going to be a full-conversation analysis of every single message exchanged, if you want to actually learn text–game, these example convos are one of the best ways to do it. 

As always, if you’ve completely lost hope with online dating and think only 6’5 male models can succeed, stop reading here. This post will have no value for you, at all. I promise. I’m an average looking dude that just puts effort into it, no amount of coping can change that. 

DISCLAIMER: As with all my posts, these texts will be translated as accurately as possible straight from Tinder since:

  1. Reddit is horrible with dynamically sharing images inside posts
  2. I live in Finland, the texts are in Finnish which means you can’t understand the screenshots

I have translated screenshots of Tinder convos in my online dating guide for anyone interested.

ps. If you have my online dating guide, you can use the sections in the “Texting flowchart” as a reference to the sections in this post. You’ll see exactly what messages apply to each step. 

Background: Blonde, 21-year old goth girl. She had some slightly suggestive photos which made me think she would be pretty down to hookup without too much extra effort. Let’s see if I was right…

Stage 1 - Opening the conversation

Some of you might remember my bio from earlier posts, but right now it’s literally just: “If you know how to resurrect houseplants hmu 🌱”

This chick definitely liked it which is why she opens me here. Sidenote: In online dating, most of your successful dates/hookups will come from girls opening you. If a girl opens you, there’s pretty much no way to fuck up the conversation unless you’re making some huge mistakes. This is also why a good profile is important. 

So, she opens me with:

HER: “Don’t know if I can resurrect houseplants but my 2-year old cactus is still alive and well ✌”

ME: “That’s pretty good ngl…”

ME: “we can learn to resurrect them together”

These messages weren’t too high-effort, but just basic stuff to get the conversation going. The best way to turn a girl off is being too try-hard with weird lines or routines right at the start.

HER: “Yess, if you have dying houseplants I can come over and see what’s wrong 😇”

In a rare moment, she actually soft-closes me… But since girls aren’t too aware of this stuff, I know she probably isn’t actually down to meet up just yet, but this is a good sign that I can push a little harder.

Stage 2 - Investment and flirting

At this point the convo has been opened, she’s responsive so it’s time to start flirting and moving the convo where I want it to go. I usually wouldn't push this hard at the beginning stages of the convo, but because of the suggestive pics on her profile and the fact she opened me, I figure we'll be alright...

ME: “That does sound good”

ME: “You definitely can’t wear the black lipstick and choker though, I’d be way too distracted from the plants…”

She had a sexy picture with black lipstic and a choker, so I flirted with her about it. The above line is one that I use constantly and I’ve found it works pretty well, it’s an easy but indirect way to turn the convo very flirty and sexual, but without pushing too hard.

HER: “What if I do 🤨”

ME: “at your own risk”

ME: “big chance you’ll get kisses on the neck looking cute like that..”

At this stage of flirting, you want to go easy with the sexual stuff. Something small like neck-kisses are good, if I had said something like: “big chance I’m gonna rip your clothes off and fuck you” she would’ve been creeped out. You have to learn to balance flirting. This is also very early in the convo so you don’t want to go too hard..

HER: “Sounds more like an opportunity than a risk..”

As with physical escalation, if she keeps going you keep going. She responded quite positively, so I move the flirting forward. 

ME: “in that case I definitely can’t promise that the kisses are gonna stay on your neck..”

Notice that when I’m flirting, I’m not being explicit and telling her exact things. I’m saying broad stuff like this that gets her imagination going. It’s much more effective for her to imagine these things than to read them off your message. 

HER: “That doesn’t sound very bad either”

HER: “What would be a better place for the kisses then 🤨”

At this point I’m realizing that she’s gonna be DTF pretty much no matter what I say. If a girl is flirting back with you this much, you have to start closing soon or she’s probably gonna get bored and think you’re just there to sext. 

ME: “you look like you’ve got many great places for them”

ME: “guess we’ll have to find the best one together”

HER: “hehe that’s a deal”

Here I just like her message, since it’s getting late and we can’t meet up this night.

Stage 3 - The soft close

The next day I hit her up with: 

ME: “when would you like to find this out together?”

HER: “I’m pretty busy start of the week but weekend could be good ;)”

ME: “Weekend sounds perfect”

HER: “Yayy, where do you wanna go?”

Fuck. So in my mind I figured she’d wanna come straight over to my place, with all the sexting, but the way she messaged me is indicating she wants to go on a date somewhere first. Now usually you should suck it up and take her on a nice date, but at this point I was really busy and not really feeling a date, so I started manouvering the convo to her coming straight over..

ME: “It says you’re under a kilometer away so guessing you live somewhere close to -my area-”

HER: “I live at -her area- :) you live at -my area- ?”

ME: “damn -her area- kind of a red flag..”

ME: “But yeah just moved here a couple of months ago, got a nice romantic balcony”

So I tease her a little by calling her area a red flag (because it actually kind of was..) and also establish that I have a nice apartment, with a romantic balcony of course… This will make it easier down the road to close her straight to mine. 

HER: “nice you’ll have to show me it sometime” 

HER: “where’d you live before?”

The word “sometime” in her message made me a little stressed out ngl… I definitely thought this was in the bag but her saying “sometime” definitely implies that she’s not coming over in the near future…

At this point we just talked about where we lived before, it’s so boring I won’t even include it lol. But here I was only texting her about once or twice a day, so when Friday rolls around I message her again with:

ME: “Got any weekend plans?”

HER: “Not yet haha, do you?”

This is on friday afternoon, but I had a sticky situation where I actually ended up meeting another girl on this day, so the next day I texted her back with a little white lie..

Stage 4 - Hard close

ME: “Just a lot of work lol”

ME: “could finish up at around 8pm today though if a movie night and some wine sounds good to you”

Notice that even though we’ve flirted and had some pretty sexual messages, I’m not telling her to come over and fuck. A movie and wine is way easier to say yes to and she’s not going to feel like a complete slut doing it. Something like this is way less pressure for her, leave the direct “wanna come over and fuck?” messages for when you’ve already met up multiple times.

HER: “Sounds good but I can’t stay too late, have some stuff tomorrow :)”

Conclusion

Well, after all those twists and turns we got it. The remaining four messages are just logistics and her getting lost on the way to my place haha, so not going to include those.

When she came over, we did indeed drink some wine on my couch, started watching a movie and she ended up riding me on the couch, so pretty successful date! With good text-game it hardly required any effort live either, once she saw that I was as charming IRL as over text, she was clearly DTF. Great text game makes your job easier on the date. 

If you’ve read any of my earlier posts you’ll recognize that quite a lot of things actually repeat in these interactions. That’s no accident. As time goes on and you talk to enough girls, you start to notice that these conversations follow a pretty predictable format.

A line you use always gets one of two responses, and your response to those gets one of two from her again. Overtime, you start to notice exactly what works. This is why experience is the best teacher with flirting and especially text-game. You start to see behind the curtain. 

Online dating works. Text-game works. It’s completely up to you how well they work. 

As always, let me know what you thought in the comments! Do you have to have a 77-degree diamond-sharp jawline to even get a response on Tinder? Am I secretly a male model and a CEO? Was this girl secretly ugly as hell and that’s why it was “easy”? 

Whatever it is, leave it down below, I’ll try my best to respond. Till next time!