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My agency as a woman is not dependent on my sexuality. Then feminism….

RealStarkey

November 24, 2024

67 upvotes

/r/MensRights

https://slate.com/life/2024/11/4b-movement-what-is-usa-meaning-2024-election.html

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Title	My agency as a woman is not dependent on my sexuality. Then feminism….
Author	RealStarkey
Upvotes	67
Comments	25
Date	November 24, 2024 8:42 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1gz0zhk/my_agency_as_a_woman_is_not_dependent_on_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-agency-as-a-woman-is-not-dependent-on-my.1536766 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536766

Comments

[–]No_Leather3994 37 points38 points39 points 1 year ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]VoN-LAxUS 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]No_Leather3994 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]VoN-LAxUS 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]No_Leather3994 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]VoN-LAxUS 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]No_Leather3994 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]VoN-LAxUS 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]No_Leather3994 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Francis_Dollar_Hide 44 points45 points46 points 1 year ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]MeanestNiceLady -2 points-1 points0 points 1 year ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]Francis_Dollar_Hide 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]MeanestNiceLady 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MeanestNiceLady -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]Francis_Dollar_Hide 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]MeanestNiceLady 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Francis_Dollar_Hide 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]MeanestNiceLady 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Ok. So as a sexual assault survivor, I should be blaming feminism for allowing that trauma to affect my life. Be real. You know the statistics on sexual assault and gender. I've been assaulted and harassed by MEN multiple times.

I am not a victim and I am not an infant. I am a grown women who and I base my opinion on my own experiences, not because feminists lied to me. I do not think I am constantly in danger of men. But I do acknowledge that I am wary when a strange man starts following me to my car. That I am bothered when a complete stranger at a bar tells me he is going to take me home and eat me out totally unprompted. These are my lived experiences, not feminist lies

You're quite literally telling me I need to simply "get over" my sexual assault (by men) and start blaming other woman for forcing me to feel bad about it?

If woman need to take accountability after being sexually assaulted and is in the wrong if she lets it affect her, then MEN DEFINITELY need to take "accountability" for commiting the majority of sexual violence.

Men commit like 90% of sexual assault. Yet you're saying feminism is lying to women by acknowledging this fact. You're saying women need to take accountability for being assaulted by not letting it affect them. That we need to shake it off and get over it. That the trauma that follows sexual assault is an invention of feminism. You are cruel and dismissive of sexual trauma. Youre telling me my experiences with sexual assault at the hands of men is something I and feminism are accountable for.

Would you ever say that to a man whose body was mangled at a dangerous job? A man who is suicidal and has nowhere to turn? A man forced to go to war? Do these men need to "take accountability" for how trauma affected them?

[–]Emotional_Section_59 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That I am bothered when a complete stranger at a bar tells me he is going to take me home and eat me out totally unprompted.

Would you ever say that to a man whose body was mangled at a dangerous job? A man who is suicidal and has nowhere to turn? A man forced to go to war? Do these men need to "take accountability" for how trauma affected them?

How are you comparing inappropriate comments to someone's life being genuinely threatened? Completely different ballparks here.

It just reminds me why I don't so much as look at women. "Staring" has recently been made an offence where I live. It's almost comforting knowing I'm so undesirable that women want me imprisoned for daring to even lay eyes on them.

I'm probably exaggerating but being demonised 24/7 on the basis of your gender becomes demoralising very very quickly.

[–]MeanestNiceLady -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I am sorry you have experienced the same sexual trauma as me. Do you feel that you bear some "accountability" for how you were treated?

Telling sexual assault victims that they need to take 'accountability' for recognizing that they are unwillingly sexualized by others is insane. Nothing that happened was my fault. I dont have to take accountability for others sexualizing me. No woman has ever groped my ass at a bar, followed me to my car and tried to force herself into the car while screaming I LOVE YOU. No woman has followed me for blocks threatening to rape me. I've never woken up to a woman fondling me. Yet somehow women are at fault for this?? Women need to take accountability for men harassing and sexualizing them??????

The 4B movement is a perfect example. The biggest value some women find in themselves is sex, thats not because of how men treat them, its because of how other women tell them men feel about them

A woman choosing not to have sex does not mean that she only finds value in herself sexually. That's a massive jump to conclusions. You are viewing this whole issue through a very twisted lens, essentially saying a woman who denies a man sex must see herself through a completely sexual lens. It's exactly the opposite. It's a declaration that they know they are worth more than sex and therefore aren't going to provide men with sex they feel entitled to. The idea that women in the 4B movement are doing it because other women lie to them is a massive assumption. They are giving up sex because they know they are worth more than sex. They know sex isn't their biggest value but they are still treated like it is. That's why they are giving up sex and marriage. Because they know their worth is beyond their Sexuality.

The inference that a woman would only give up sex because she thinks sex is the only thing that makes her valuable makes zero sense. The idea that she needs to take "accountability" for recognizing that she is seen as a purely sexual object who is up for grabs by some people doesn't make sense at all.

[–]Francis_Dollar_Hide 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]MeanestNiceLady -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

You're twisting my words, you have to take accountability for how you allow that to effect you. NOT accountability for being victimized.

So a woman who has sexual trauma needs to take accountability for letting it affect her self-image. Its her fault for not being able to move on from a traumatic experience. Feminist are in the wrong for seeing sexual assault as traumatizing.

They are asserting that men see them as only good for sex. But thats just what other women have told them men think.

How can you say that? You're implying that men rarely sexualize women, and that women in the 4B movement haven't actually experienced being sexualized. They are just going off what other women say? How could you possibly know experiences of these women.

You see women as stupid and vindictive and easily impressionable. Because society focuses so much on women's sexuality, we must only value ourselves in terms of sex. And if we are raped or harassed we need to take accountability for letting it affect us and how we view ourselves sexually. You're literally saying women need to just "get over" their sexual trauma, that it's our fault for struggling to cope after sexual assault.

Do you feel the same way about men who have been assaulted? Do they need to take accountability???

[–]Francis_Dollar_Hide 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]MeanestNiceLady 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

"You're literally saying women need to just "get over" their sexual trauma,"

Did you not say that women need to take accountability for letting their sexual assaults affect them. Youre telling a sexual assault survivor that she needs to not let her lived experiences make her wary of strange men and their intentions. You speak about sexual assault so casually. You are the reason we are wary of men. Your exact attitude is what makes men frightening. I pray no woman in your family is ever assaulted, so that she doesn't have to be subjected to youre cruel and dismissive attitude. You think women are dumb and unable to think for themselves.

Men commit the huge majority of sexual assaults and youre blaming feminism??? How?

The notion that I shared my lived experiences with you and you told me I need to take accountability blows my mind. You would never say that to a man who has been assaulted would you?

[–]63daddy 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link