I’m abrasive and want to be sweet

Deliaallmylife · 2024-12-14T20:40:07+00:00

I guess too I’m worried about what to do when he’s annoying AF. He makes messes everywhere he goes, he “helps” by doing the laundry and ruined my clothes, he took over the cooking even though I love doing it.

Maybe you could walk us through what some of the issues are? "I want to be sweet" is pretty vague if there is actually stuff going on in the background.

If all that is happening is that you are getting cranky when you are "off" in some way, then you need to work towards being able to identify your feelings within your self. Instances like that I either STFU or I tell him "hey I'm starving and cranky but it's not at you and I'm sorry". Things like meditation and yoga can help you get better at judging your own mental/physical state (IMO anyway).

youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-12-14T20:03:13+00:00

Have you read Laura Doyle's The Surrendered Wife? She discusses a lot of habits we can fall into that contribute to abrasiveness and what building the alternative behavior pattern looks like.

WildFemmeFatale · 2024-12-15T00:38:24+00:00

Try to take note on the times or experiences that are specifically running you down and contributing to the deregulation of your system

It may be things that you haven’t noticed are doing it

Does it happen an hour after being in a heavily populated loud space etc ?

You can be getting tensed up but not realizing it (the body is complex)

Your emotional regulation and well-being being uplifted will give you the energy and happiness you need to “be sweeter”

It’s hard to “be sweet” innately when you’re frustrated or stressed

cruciod · 2024-12-14T20:39:36+00:00

What makes you abrasive? Do you yell and raise your voice? In this case, when you sense yourself doing this next time, try to take a deep breath to calm yourself and keep your voice more leveled as you speak. Is it that you can be harsh and unkind with your words? In this case, before you start with opinions that you know have the potential to veer into unkind territory, pause and stop to think if you truly mean those unkind words. Is there a way you can get your point across without being unnecessarily rude or blunt?

The best starting step is to figure out what it is you do that stops you from being sweet. Reflecting on that, and what changes you can make to improve it, would be the next step. I'm sure there's countless advice on the general internet as well on how to practise compassion and be a more pleasant person.

Also, just as being kind is frequently associated with sweetness, being kind to yourself is important too. Take small but certain steps, changes in your demeanour do not happen overnight. Goodluck. :)

AutoModerator · 2024-12-14T20:00:35+00:00

Title: I’m abrasive and want to be sweet

Author Technical_Cupcake597

Full text: No one has ever called me sweet. My husband has a few times, but rare. He wants a sweet wife. I love him and he’s such a good man. But if I don’t get it together ASAP, he’s going to leave.

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christucker1983 · 2024-12-15T20:39:27+00:00

Abrasive in what way exactly?

Odd-Luck7658 · 2024-12-15T03:21:40+00:00

A therapist may help you find more constructive ways of dealing with your frustrations.

Title	I’m abrasive and want to be sweet
Author	Technical_Cupcake597
Upvotes	23
Comments	19
Date	December 14, 2024 8:00 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1heb3jq/im_abrasive_and_want_to_be_sweet/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/im-abrasive-and-want-to-be-sweet.1538497 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538497

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