I’ve been very active on tinder for many years and about a year ago had to switch over to Hinge completely as it seems to be the last dating app to still have a sizeable user base of quality profiles. (At least in LA, I know every region is different)

The problem is, most people I meet are on average way more reserved than people I used to meet in Tinder. Tinder girls were still mostly looking for boyfriends but didn’t seem to mind having some fun along the way as much.

I normally allow about two nights a week for first dates, that way I get enough time for myself and for spending time with already existing fwbs, then if I happen to really like hooking up with one of the people from from those first dates, they might be added to the fwb rotation if they’re down for that sorta thing. That’s been my model forever, I find going on more than 2, maybe 3 first dates a week to be absolutely exhausting and draining for one’s mental health.

The problem I’ve been facing more and more since switching is most my first dates go well, but instead of hooking up, we end up just agreeing to go on another date next week, forcing me to postpone the next weeks first dates and running the risk of having them loose interest as by that point we’ve been trying to go out for at least a couple weeks and still haven’t met.

Overtime, this has resulted in me having multiple initially high interest options go ghost, not even to mention that if all you’re looking for in new casual partners, two or more dates to get with every single one in just logistically insufferable.

I’m being apprehensive about the idea of tailoring my profile more towards casual encounters as it’s something girls tend to resent as a habit, but then warm up to the idea of once you get a chance to make it more appealing.

!!!DISCLAIMER!!! I am not interested in tricking anyone into thinking they’re about to have a relationship with me just for the purpose of sleeping with them. Rather to change their minds about the idea of something casual between us if they aren’t initially on board with it. Big difference. So if you’re looking to accuse me of being deceitful or manipulative, just save that.

So yes, I’m case there’s anyone in a similar situation, please feel free to share your strategies on what you think is the most efficient manner of spending your time dating in regards to having casual fun.

Super hookup oriented profile = significantly less matches and dates, super relationship oriented profile = loads of matches and dates, but the dates are difficult to close, especially on the first link. How do you prefer to balance this?