How do you get the ACTUAL 10s?

lilsteez99 · 2025-05-10T01:31:58+00:00

The same way you get other girls! Some 10’s will naturally be drawn to you! When it happened to me I was confused but still went for it but it’s doable I had more luck with 10’s in person

ShongoMcForren · 2025-05-10T01:11:12+00:00

Be a 10

zippy_yatta · 2025-05-10T01:19:50+00:00

You're finding your 10s on Instagram. That's an extremely specific use case.

Think about a formula 1 race car. Those are some of the most singular purpose cars on the planet. They don't carry people, groceries, insurance policies or even run for more than 100 hours. They are built for racing on specific tracks with specific rules built to specific parameters. Teams go as far as having a specific suspension, throttle and brake setup for every single race. Those cars are good for racing and bad for everything else. Instagram is a bit like that.

I have met Instagram 10s in real life and they didn't look like 10s. They looked uncanny. Looking good in real life and looking good in photos is very different. It's not just makeup either, it's poses, editing, cameras, photographers etc.

Take Livy Dunne for example. For a good 2 years straight I thought she was the most arousing woman on the planet. Next thing you know, she gets booked as a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model. I waited patiently, her shoot came out and it was.... Weird.

It's not that her shoot was bad. It was just so far off from the image she had made for herself. On Livy's profile she chooses the camera, editing, poses, outfits, lighting etc. She experimented and refined her profile to a level where it was good enough to get 8 million TikTok followers. When she went to sports illustrated they threw all of her hard work out and did their own thing. The difference was so jarring that she almost looked like a different person.

That's what you're dealing with. You're trying to compare an instant of perfection to a living breathing person. Instagram doesn't give you the sound of their voice, the way they move, speak, act, think or any of that. People can pull it together for the flash of a camera but it's much hard to be a perfect person in all aspects.

boentrough · 2025-05-10T02:41:30+00:00

You have to be brave enough to ask them out, push the right buttons (different for most women), you have to be "cool", and you have to simp for them in a non-embarassing manner.

I was married to a stripper for probably ten years separated for three she came back for a year and a half.

Brave is brave, that one you either do or don't.

The buttons is going to vary woman to woman

Same for cool - I would work on self reflection and authenticity for this. It's a life long journey but people pick up on your depth of character. But tastes vary so some women will have other qualifiers for cool. That's something those losers often have, if they know they are losers, they work to be a loser people can stand and that requires self reflection, and it takes some authenticity to be the person you are instead of just trying to be cool.

I am by no means saying it's cool to be a loser and a drain, but thats what women see in those people.

Same for the non embarrassing simping, but that one I think is the easiest to have some idea of, and it means you make them feel special, traditional ideas of singing probably won't work because the men giving her money are doing that and of course giving them money. But that's what you got to do.

Strippers don't date customers, so you just have to ask attractive women out until one gives you a chance, for real.

It helps that when I was younger I was younger, and I worked out, and I was attractive, now I'm a fat 40 something 🤣.

Be confident

Be you

Be better

Be cool

Be her biggest fan

(Be attractive) Being well kept is attractive

Affectionate-Bet-649 · 2025-05-10T01:24:13+00:00

This is a good question that no one has answered yet.

The answer is you get lucky, either by accidentally running into them in the right environment, or you just live in a place where attractive people gravitate.

I experience the same thing, I just tell myself they don't exist until they do.

Other option is to be highly sought after on IG, and DM them.

jackzander · 2025-05-10T01:02:07+00:00

First question: Are you a 10?

Amazing-Weakness1246 · 2025-05-10T01:26:01+00:00

I think you’ll meet those type of girls in a social circle doing things yall both enjoy

epimpstyle · 2025-05-10T06:37:51+00:00

There is a huge difference between a woman with makeup and one without makeup, as makeup can add 2-3 points to her appearance on a scale of 10

Watch this LINK to see some examples. Also, you will be shocked when you see a naked woman because you'll notice she has all kinds of marks (birthmarks) on her skin. They come in various shapes and tones, and she is far from the perfectly sculpted, tanned bodies you see in porn videos.

At the moment, I believe that any woman 18-40 is beautiful as long as she has no physical deformities, is healthy, not overweight/underweight, is wearing nice clothes and she has done her makeup.

CharmingRejector · 2025-05-10T11:54:07+00:00

First of all, there are no 10's. They live only in your head. And most peeps disagree on what a 10 is anyway. So, let's just call them super-hot girls. Either to you personally, or someone who's accepted as being generally super hot, no matter if it's an 8 or a 9.

Second, be me. ;) Yes, be a little cocky. Believe you're better than all the rest. Smile to them like you're the prize and not them. Enjoy how they look, enjoy them sexually, but without needing them. Hard to explain. When you look at a really cool car (for me, a Ferrari) or a really sexy jet fighter. You can't own one (unless you're filthy rich) but you can enjoy the hell outta looking at it, you can be enthused as hell being around it. (And if you actually own a Ferrari now, congratz, but think of something you actually can't own but still enthuses the hell out of you.) Then do the same with them. You don't need her, you just enjoy the hell out of her. As in, she makes you wanna enthusiastically smile (enjoy) and not cry (neediness). So, when you do speak, it's from the frame of enthusiasm and inner joy. Self-amusement as they say in RSD.

I mean, haven't you ever been caught staring at the nice curves of some hot girl, and then she catches you doing it. You get all hysterical for a micro second, like "Oh sheet she noticed!" But then - instead of slapping you or screaming for the guards - she tilts her head a little and smiles coyly back you you. She actually enjoys it when you enjoy her in an outcome independent way! Like when she knows you're just marvelling at her beauty without any creepy intent.

Don't be overly cocky pretend-alpha, though. They'll see right through that. But, like, go over, and treat them like a friend when you're checking them out. Don't try. Be. That'll impress 99% of them. Do it right, and that's when you'll see them blush and giggle when you're around. That's when you'll see them coming onto you. Because most men act needy or un-deserving around girls like that, and that also stifles the hot girls, cuz they can't calm down around value-taking creep like that.

Second, do as you normally do and check for IOIs. I always get the strongest IOIs from the super-hot girls. Likely because they're secretly the most frustrated girls out there lol. They're so famished on men who don't come onto them like value-taking creep, or who simply stand on the other side of the room and just stare at them with hungry, needy eyes (don't be that guy either, it's creepy).

Or idk, maybe it's mutual action going on. I get more enthusiastic about the really hot ones, and they just mirror it. Cuz mirror neurons. Idk. If I go up to the really super hot ones after I get an IOI the girls will usually love it.

Moreover, here's a trick for getting noticed by them. Socialize with everyone! Yes, even the guys and their grandmothers. Make it a point to be kind of like a baby kissing politician at whatever venue you're at, or pretend you're the host making sure everyone is good.

Avoid long sets. Just chit chat for 30 second to a maximum of 2 minutes, and then excuse yourself. Just tell them "Well, nice talking to you, let's chat later I'll be over there at the bar, but I gotta catch up with muh friends." And then just bounce to the next group or table and rinse and repeate. While you're doing this, check for IOIs from the girls. Not who gives it to you, and then simply re-approach them later, or say when they come and hover next to you at the bar.

It's when you're perceived as a high-value social guy that you'll start to get the really insane approach invitations, such as hot girls outright winking at you, smiling and biting her lower lip, etc. Btw these things happened even before I got ripped btw, so it's an energy thing and not about how you look. Women are hugely attracted to confident men who are comfortable in their own skin, much more so than to looks. But obviously do hit the gym anyway. Or do martial arts. Simply being fearless among other men is also highly attractive.

Hope this helps!

COMPEWTER_adminisp · 2025-05-10T01:02:41+00:00

they are like playing the game at the highest difficulty lol

Glacier_Sama · 2025-05-10T01:51:49+00:00

JBH. Just Be Hot

Mc_Dickles · 2025-05-10T03:07:08+00:00

There are no 10s, everyone has their flaws

Friendly-Canadianguy · 2025-05-10T00:54:19+00:00

I don't think most guys really know what a 10 is. We are talking perfect face, body, youth. Just flawless. Yes you'll find them on IG. Those girls with the advent of social media are where the fun is at and where the money is at---at the highest levels. Their getting invited to everything and networking with the rich. The odd 10 in the world is actually a 9. A legit 10 is not in the wild. A 10 knows her self worth and uses it. To reach these girls you have to be a high status/high value guy and/or be in their social circle.

glatts · 2025-05-10T14:25:46+00:00

I have a friend who is a 10.

My now wife became friends with her when they worked together on Wall Street, and she would turn heads just walking around the trading floor. When the 2008 financial crisis hit, she began doing modeling and even took some jobs in sports media. You may have seen her on TV. Then she went to Harvard Medical School, where she was able to use what she learned to get a patent for a biotech startup that earned her a couple million right after graduating. Now she’s focused on things she’s passionate about. I could probably say more but I don’t want to dox her.

So I’d say she’s a 10 by most people’s definition. She’s very smart, successful, driven, and gorgeous. She is also single and looking but hasn’t been able to find the right guy. Previous people she has dated include professional athletes.

So what is she looking for? Essentially, her equal.

She’s relaxed a little on the looks, but she still needs to find the guy attractive. And since she is very health conscious and works out a lot, the guy should be in good shape too. But she doesn’t want someone who obsesses over his self image, and makes working out his entire personality. She wants some depth.

He has to be smart and able to match wits with her. Or at least hold an intelligent conversation without speaking down to her. He cannot be intimidated by her, but he must also be kind.

Money is definitely a factor. She’s relaxed on this a bit too, but she doesn’t want to be a sugar mama. She’d love to start a family and continue her work in animal safety. She doesn’t want to be some guy’s next conquest, she wants a partner. She wants someone close to her age or a little bit older.

It is super easy for her to get matches on any app, including Raya, but most of those guys aren’t interested in real relationships and there’s too many to weed through. So yeah, expensive and exclusive venues may be a place to meet her.

So how do you match up? Are you more than just a guy who is in good shape? Do you have all your shit together and excelled at school and in your professional life? Would you be out of your depth having conversations about the arts, global finance, business and politics? If not, do you want to be with someone who can stand toe-to-toe with you on these topics, or do you just want dumb arm candy? Are you financially secure and have you been able to make good income (at least upper six figures, if not more), regardless of if you came from money or not?

Due-Campaign-5157 · 2025-05-10T14:43:23+00:00

The same way you get 5s

Superiority-Qomplex · 2025-05-10T15:13:21+00:00

Women don't need guys for most things now a days. They work, they can get a credit card, they can vote, they can figure out solutions to their problems. The only thing that they need men for is to Celebrate Life with.

So the 'trick' to getting women is, and has always been, learning how to trigger emotions. When you trigger emotions in people, they will automatically become attracted to you. Even if you logically do not make sense for them from an 'ideal list'. You may have noticed how so many 'nice guys' tend to fail women and that's because the 'niceness' is seen as a strategy to trick her rather than who the guy really is. It's also very boring. I often think of the nice guy strategy as something similar to this old cartoon:

Spike and Chester

Chester is overly conciliatory and desperate to impress, but it's extremely boring to Spike. This is what it's like for women when the the guy is too excited to impress her. It's one of the reasons why 'bad boys' tend to get so much play because they act more like Spike and the women are more keen to try to impress them. Also, women tend to be attracted to men that other men are scared/intimidated by because he can protect her from those other men.

Anywho, that's what doesn't work and why. But now consider what does work. To get 10s, start hanging out with 10s. Just have normal conversations with them. Use body language, intonation, eye contact, innocent touches (nothing sexual, but maybe shoulder, hands, moving hair form eyes), to do the flirting. But keep the conversation as non-flirtatious. If you're not saying flirty/lewd things, she has less to reject you with because you're not saying anything too forward. You're just flirting with body language more than anything else. And not too much at that.

Ideally, you want her to be talking more, but lead conversations with happy stories, and then sad stories, and then back to happy, etc. This has a Hypnotic Effect called Fractionation where people both feel more emotions with you and for you. Beware though, this can have a very dangerous side effect where people can fall in love with you and get rather crazed about you. Sometimes to stalkerish levels. So if you do this, make sure it's someone you actually want to be with.

Also, don't bother picking up 10s on apps or social media. Far too much competition. Do it in person when you see them in public or in friends/group situations. Throw the apps away. But ya, focus on triggering emotions and women will FEEL far more for you..

Streets_Ahead_Coined · 2025-05-10T15:55:51+00:00

Timing

videogames_ · 2025-05-10T16:44:19+00:00

Nightclub bouncers and bartenders at the exclusive places where 10s frequent

Siyuen_Tea · 2025-05-10T17:01:05+00:00

Can't say how to do it in social media but it's literally what canned game was made for. Pretty girls are just going to test you more because more men have tried on then. 90% is just learning how to pass shit tests

Consistent-Ground-13 · 2025-05-10T19:19:10+00:00

Be rich

lefthandedaf · 2025-05-11T22:21:48+00:00

The biggest myth/lie that’s been perpetrated throughout male dating communities: 9s and 10s are easier to get than 6s and 7s. The guys saying this have likely never even approached a 9 or 10.

Livid_Description287 · 2025-05-10T01:39:04+00:00

Because the 10s aren’t 10s in real life

MudrakM · 2025-05-10T02:10:18+00:00

I heard on the radio that the statistics of hot women is close to 2 in 100. If that is right, you have to be a 10. A 10 in woman’s eyes is almost always rich and luxury lifestyle. Nice vacations and spoil.

topher_atx · 2025-05-10T03:14:50+00:00

Personally, I consider a 10 top 10%. And a 1 would be bottom 10%. Average would be a 5 or a 6. So if you look at it like that you might be a 10, and you might be chasing 10s already.

To be a 10 you really just have to workout, have some muscle if you're a man, count calories, and have some degree of mastery over your body fat percentage. Boom you're top 10%.

But I'm assuming what you really mean by a 10 is 1 in 100 hot, or 1 in 1,000, 1 in 10,000 hot. Unless you really got it going on, I'd say be satisfied with top 10 percent. Its a realistic goal in my opinion because most people are fat and don't work out or watch what they eat.

AnxietyKingP · 2025-05-10T03:19:40+00:00

Money

Nikonglass · 2025-05-10T03:20:54+00:00

Maybe recalibrate your expectations. Maybe a 10 is not some perfect model girl but actually the most all round attractive out of a random selection of 10 girls. In that case maybe you are already with 9s and 10s.

Beginning_Tap2727 · 2025-05-10T06:54:03+00:00

Sweet summer child. You’re clearly unaware as to how many influencers use slimming filters 🤣

stick_it_in_your_bum · 2025-05-10T07:31:55+00:00

As an old head I’m convinced 10s are purely personality based. You don’t want to deal with 10s that are looks only. It’s your overall vibe that matters more than anything. Men and women.

jackthehat6 · 2025-05-10T09:32:58+00:00

be very very very good looking, or be very very very VERY rich (and as ugly as you want), or be 'cool' famous (rapper, NFL quarterback etc)

rich_god · 2025-05-10T09:34:45+00:00

Not many useful answers in this thread.

The first thing is how to meet them. It depends on the kind of 10’s you’re looking for. For instance I was close to the fashion world at some point and would be plenty of models or just beautiful women, but I found them often quite bland and boring honestly. Now I’m closer to the sexological bodywork kind of scene, and I’m meeting plenty of (ex-)strippers, OF models, sexual bodyworkers and so on, who are mostly gorgeous women but also who love and enjoy sexuality and the pleasures of life (sometimes too much but that’s another thing).

And then how to get them is always the same : increasing your value, not seeing them as anything special, living from a place of abundance, clarity, presence, being comfortable with the tension, going for what you want.

Wishing you the best !

Interesting-Cow-1652 · 2025-05-10T12:07:26+00:00

10s are monetized. They know they’re tens and will capitalize off of it. You can either boss up and make money to lease a 10 or you can continue living on Struggle Street trying to compete for their attention via “Game” or “rizz” or whatever the kids call it nowadays. And for the guys saying they aren’t 10s because of their “personality” or whatever, get real - you only care about how good she looks naked. Those kinds of girls don’t have a personality

I’m short, ugly, and autistic and I’ve fucked several 10s just paying for it. That includes porn stars and yes, they cost a couple thousand dollars

thecuriousone107 · 2025-05-10T12:45:20+00:00

I wonder how many women ask themselves the equivalent question for hot guys, when they're less so... and what the answers are..

morelale · 2025-05-10T14:10:21+00:00

More that triple digits and you haven't bang a 10? What are you banging? 4s?

TripleDigitNomad · 2025-05-10T16:46:07+00:00

Money or status, that's the only answer

KustardKing · 2025-05-10T17:00:14+00:00

They aren’t 10s IRL.

sayskate · 2025-05-10T17:44:53+00:00

Describe a 10?

blunt_eastwood · 2025-05-10T18:32:24+00:00

I think that part of the problem is that you're rating women.

Virtual_Ad_4817 · 2025-05-10T19:22:28+00:00

Move somewhere where there are more 10s. I moved to Miami for this reason.

dominiquebache · 2025-05-10T19:25:50+00:00

I‘d rather go with a 5 or 6 with no trauma, than a 10 with serious issues. Looks isn’t everything.

Real beauty comes from within.

jamesfalken · 2025-05-10T19:52:11+00:00

10s don't exist

Free-Chemistry5775 · 2025-05-10T20:08:58+00:00

Haha I'm still stuck trying to talk to a "6" that wants to talk to me.

AgentNightWing7 · 2025-05-10T21:45:03+00:00

I can't seem to meet women anywhere but I also live nowhere near a city. I've tried everything from apps to going out places to meet women. I can't afford to live in the city I'm tired of being single. I'm handsome, tall, and I have plenty of money from working all the time. No one to really share it with. I just save until I hopefully meet the one and for emergencies as well. At times it feels like I'm the only person I know who's still single even though most of my friend group are also single men.

Romar-MD · 2025-05-11T00:52:28+00:00

Be indifferent and talk to their friends.. jealousy

SWIM270 · 2025-05-11T01:36:31+00:00

The girls are very good at taking photos.

sliferd37 · 2025-05-11T02:07:37+00:00

By going to another country.

BudgetInteraction811 · 2025-05-11T02:46:34+00:00

There seems to be a seemingly unlimited number of damn near perfect, drop dead gorgeous and incredibly sexy women every time I open instagram, yet not every 10 is some kind of influencer/model/striper/of/porn girl, etc, so the real number should be way bigger than the what you see.

However, I hardly ever come across women of that caliber in the wild, met VERY few of those through the apps and zero in real life.

And I’ve met plenty of women who in real life are completely average, but when I find their social media I could be fooled into thinking they were a model if I didn’t see them IRL. Get off instagram and unfollow all the thirst trappers, because it sounds like you aren’t living in the real world and only value women for their appearance.

Disastrous-Refuse-35 · 2025-05-11T03:03:55+00:00

Stop focusing on them. Focus on you. Take em off a pedestal and deyll come to u

rmbarnes · 2025-05-12T14:21:19+00:00

The girls you see on instagram mostly won’t look nearly as good in real life (filters, lighting, retouching, good camera work make a big difference).

Instagram makes you believe girls like this are common as you see them all over the place online, but only a tiny % of the girls on the planet end up with high follower count on insta. This means the reality is that girls like this are very rare.

If you’re trying to find them probably look at high end members only clubs in tier 1 cities.

Prestigious_Water336 · 2025-05-14T18:24:02+00:00

You have to realize that there's a naturally higher concentration of 10's in the warmer bigger cities like Miami and L.A.

So if your not in one of those cities your odds are naturally lower.

Also most 10's don't wanna be with some guy that's average looking guy that makes under 150K a year.

You need to be in good shape and be making a good amount of money.

Attractive people wanna be with attractive people. It's not too hard to figure out.

ConfidenceMastery · 2025-05-16T08:30:57+00:00

Generally have high status like a celebrity, athlete or influencer.

Personal-Routine-595 · 2025-05-30T23:20:06+00:00

It’s the humble bragging combined with misogyny for me 🤢

ImpossibleBritches · 2025-05-10T05:11:30+00:00

I don't believe that 10's have it easier. If anything they have it harder.

They are more likely to be pursued by men who want to impress their male peers. Which would lead to miserable relationship mismatches.

They are likely to be surrounded by men with ulterior motives, and men acting incongruently because they feel they have to impress her.

They are more likely to be viewed as objects, trophies and mirrors of men's desires and resentments.

When you consider these realities, it's much more understandable why they might have stronger walls and stonger resentment against men due to histories of being constantly dissapointed by them.

As for men: there's all kinds of toxic self-defeating dynamics behind "wanting to bang 10's".

It's not worth it.

Sure, allowing yourself to be moved and motivated by beauty. But seek happiness and fulfillment in your sexual pursuits. Anything else is a waste of your life's precious time and energy.

unevendopamine2 · 2025-05-10T02:43:25+00:00

Become rich and or famous. They’ll fuck you once for free then you have to make them your girlfriend or pay them after the third fuck

If you want 1 10… be her type, talk to her, have a life

South_Speed_8480 · 2025-05-10T07:12:12+00:00

$1.3k

Additional_Luck_3064 · 2025-05-10T13:47:11+00:00

It’s just amazing how a stripper or pornstars are considered “10/10.

decaffeinatedlesbian · 2025-05-11T02:04:55+00:00

loser

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-05-10T01:18:53+00:00

Don't. I've dated several and married one. Never again.

godofgainz · 2025-05-10T02:10:25+00:00

10s are easy to get but hard to keep. Unless you are everything they want they will get bored and sad. Approach them knowing it’s going to be short term. Be cocky and funny (at the same time), intentionally misinterpret everything they say, engage all banter, withhold approval (don’t complement them) and never take yourself too seriously. They will swoon, but unless you’ve got the resources to keep them happy and content, just know they will leave you. Also, 10s are rarely alone so you must be able to approach and open groups. Then isolate and escalate. Increase sexual tension then attempt kiss test. If they pass then close.

Title	How do you get the ACTUAL 10s?
Author	unfortunately_real
Upvotes	41
Comments	149
Date	May 10, 2025 12:36 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kixr6a/how_do_you_get_the_actual_10s/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-get-the-actual-10s.1551726 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551726

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