More men should be politely approaching women and also actually introduce themselves so the women have some information to decide if they are interested in talking. There are some women who want to be approached more often. One time when I stopped a woman on the street and told her she was cute, she had a boyfriend but she gave me her instagram anyways just because she wants to encourage men to approach more often. If you approach women respectfully as described below it will be nothing but giggles and smiles even when you are rejected.

This isn't meant to be very clever. I think more men will do it if I explain something simple very clearly so they can just get started. It is always better to do something specific to the situation or the girl. But what I outline here is something that always works if you don't know what else to say. Here is how to do it spelled out very clearly. I'm not saying this is perfect so any feedback on my strategy would be appreciated.

For introduction say "I'm ____. I moved here a few years ago for work. What about you, do you work nearby?"

At a Crosswalk (Waiting for Signal)

"Hey, how's it going. " followed by either:

  • "...you just caught my eye and I thought I might as well talk to you while we're waiting here"
  • "...it's a beautiful day today, isn't it?"
  • "you look nice, are you from around here?"

Then introduce yourself.

In Line for Something

"Hey, how's it going." Then either:

  • Make a situational remark or ask for advice
  • "Do you come here often?"
  • "This line is pretty long today. Have you ever been here when it's this busy?"

When She Has a Dog

Choose one:

  • "Do you think your dog would approve of me saying hi to you?"
  • "Wow, your dog is so cute. What breed are they?"
  • "Your dog seems so well-behaved. How did you train it?"

With her friends

"Hey guys excuse me, sorry to interrupt but, your friend here (pointing) caught my eye and I wanted to introduce myself."

Then introduce yourself.

Climbing Gym

Either:

  • Ask for beta (climbing advice)
  • ask if you can steal their move
  • ask if they are alright after a fall
  • Nod and smile, and if you get a positive reaction

Then say: "Do you come here often?"

Grocery Store

"Oh hey—I was just grabbing stuff for dinner and saw you over here. Do you ever make curry bean tacos?"

Hot Yoga After Class

"Hey, how's it going"
Then either:

- "do you come here often?"

- "what did you think of that last position?"

girl at park on grass

"Hey excuse me. Hi. I was just taking a a walking break from work and I have to say I love your vibe. I just saw you sitting here, reading the way I used to do on weekends"

at cafe while waiting for my order, approaching a girl there

"Hey how's it going? you look really cute. Are you from around here?"

at cafe sitting when she is sitting next to your table

For reasons explained in the section below ("why there are subtle differences between these cases") this is a tough one. As long as you are sitting down you are stuck together so you don't want to risk doing a direct opener. Either:

  • you find something to comment on something like a laptop sticker or the food.
  • or right as you're leaving you directly say "Hey you look really cute actually. Are you from around here?". But sometimes when I try to wait until I leave she leaves before I do so I miss my chance. If I stop her right as she leaves then it looks like I've been watching her the whole time just waiting for my chance.

walking opposite direction

first smile and nod. usually doesn't help but sometimes does.

Ideally you stop her before she passes by. Do this by saying "Oh hey wait, you look really cute actually."

If you make the mistake of hesitating and she passes by then you have to turn around and catch up to her. I say "Hey I was just hanging out with my friend and then I saw you walking by and wanted to talk to you."

Then say "can I introduce myself?"

Then without pausing, I introduce myself

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How to do the rhythm

Make sure you have their attention before you say anything important.

It is good to be reading her response to see if she wants you to go away. But the mistake I used to make is I asked how's it going and then paused to wait for a response. This is basically like I'm asking if it's ok for me to talk to her. Why would she say yes to that when she knows nothing about me. Without missing a beat, go on talking and introduce yourself. Talk fairly quickly too. But at the same time you talk, also read her reaction. Sometimes I say "can I introduce myself?" To be polite but I don't wait for a response.

why the opener matters

The opener is super important. Cold approach has advantages but the biggest drawbacks are that you could seem like a creep or seem desperate. and they don't know anything about you. It's hard to transition into introducing yourself. On how I met your mother, he just says "Hi I'm ted" and it's cute. That can work in a situation where they are expecting to meet people but in day game that is just really abrupt and shows that you are a pickup artist using a gimick.

why there are differences between these cases

The are some situations where you are stuck together and there are some situations where it's hard to get her attention and stop her from leaving. There are some situations where it's harder to justify why you are talking to her. If you are stuck together (e.g. climbing gym) you need to be more careful to avoiding making it awkward. You might see them again next time you go climbing. If you need to get her attention and stop her from leaving then you need to be more direct. I put the cases of cross walk and waiting in line first because those situations have the perfect balance. She has nothing better to do than talk to you while she's there. But then you can walk away and never see eachother again after just a minute. "Are you from around here" is a little less nosy than "do you work nearby". But knowing whether she works nearby is way more useful since that tells you both whether she is a student and whether she is from out of town. Also, it gives you an excuse to talk about your work which is something she likely cares about even though there's a taboo against caring about it.

If it's a place where you see the same people again often maybe have multiple interactions before going for the number. If you'll hardly ever see them again then yolo.

I had to repost this. The old post was doing well until I added some links to other reddit posts that the automoderator didn't like. The reddit posts I linked to were from women saying they want to meet a boyfriend at hot yoga and the climbing gym.