First off, I am not condoning actual creeps and rapists. Legitimate harassment like threats and groping, and forcing yourself on somebody is not okay. However, it is a very small minority of men who are guilty of this, and they are misunderstood and do it for different reasons than most people assume.

The motivation for sex crimes is to assert power, and prove a point. It is not loneliness, trying to get laid, or obtain intimacy by force. Men who have sex for the right reasons, want the woman to enjoy it too. It is a pipeline that starts with repressed sexuality.

When a man pursues a woman in an ethical way, feminists and mainstream society demonize him. If he approaches a woman in a well lit, safe, public place like a cafe, library, gym, or a busy street with lots of shops, he is labeled a creep, no matter how polite he is or how little pressure he puts her under. If he asks out a female friend, he is accused of “ruining the friendship” or faking a friendship just to get in her pants.

Feminists try to restrict expression of male sexuality and male pursuit of intimacy and romance to designated spaces only: dating apps, bars, and nightclubs. And then men still get vilified for using these spaces! If a man attends a bar by himself or in a group of other men, he is labeled creepy or desperate. In our society, men are expected to have women with them, friends or otherwise, to validate their very existence. A woman who got with a man because she saw him with female friends begs the question: was he a creep before he made these friends, and would you still date him if you found out how he befriended these women?

So it starts with pursuing women the right way. But when society asserts that even that is wrong, and tries to stop him, it feels draconian and infringes on his freedoms. He then treats it as a “numbers game” where he does not care if he pisses of 990 women, if it means that he can get the phone number of 10 of them, and then date 2-3 of those 10. Still, the rejection and repression builds up and continues to anger him more, so eventually he says enough is enough and decides to claim back the validity of his existence and his freedom of expression. That usually means turning to catcalling and forcing himself on them, to assert personal power and freedom, and prove that he can get away with it. There is no sense of intimacy or enjoyment there, only power.

When men travel to countries that are more sex-positive and intimacy-positive toward men, to escape these draconian social norms in the west, they are accused of being “passport bros” or “taking advantage of impoverished women”. The reality is they want men to stay in this draconian society, so they can continue to control us.