divorced dads with children, how is dating going on for you?

hendrixski · 2025-03-28T13:46:59+00:00

I was a divorced dad. I escaped my abusive ex wife, I won full custody of my son. Dating sucked. For years it was emotionally devastating and I gave up a few times.

I did eventually remarry. I moved to NYC and it kind of happened. I married a single mom. She could relate to me about the challenges of single parenthood. But I tell you being a step father is a bad deal because of all the pre-conceived notions children have about stepfather.

Overall. Sexism made the dating experience into something that triggered my trauma from previous abuse. And that made me depressed on several occasions. In retrospect I should have skipped dating and just hired a surrogate and had a second child and I'd be happy, too.

Same_Sentence_3470 · 2025-03-28T14:40:39+00:00

I never really gave up but I don't go out of my way to meet women. It's been 8 years. A few months ago I met a married woman a bar. She told me that she was in the process of separating from her husband. I definately had an opportunity but I'm not going to do that to some other guy. I know what it feels like. She could have been lying. I would rather have my peace than start some new toxic drama.

Smeg-life · 2025-03-28T15:51:29+00:00

It's not the lack of matches. It's more, I have a large number of kids, my ex has no contact with the kids (court order) and mine was a high conflict divorce that took 5 years to settle.

While I've had some great short term relationships, I just have no time to dedicate anything more.

Yes there are options out there, it's just more time then I'm willing to commit and I don't want to repeat the same mistakes.

UWontHearMeAnyway · 2025-03-28T23:40:21+00:00

I no longer try to date. I've done a lot of work on myself, mainly realizing why I was just as much at fault as my ex. Because I allowed it to happen. I allowed the relationship to continue even though I saw red flags.

If a woman doesn't bring what I need, then it just won't work. If she shows red flags, then release her back to the streets. I'm no longer the "we have great potential" guy. I'm now the "let's see measurable, reasonable progress, or I'm out" guy. If any attempt at accountability is met with manipulation tactics, I'll stay single.

In other words, I no longer date. I'm open to being in a relationship, but I'm not going out of my way to force the concept of another to fit into compatibility.

Frewdy1 · 2025-03-28T15:53:47+00:00

do not date single mothers (to which I fully agree)

Sorry, but aren’t you basically creating the problem you’re currently experiencing? “Single parents are people I wouldn’t date! Why won’t anyone date me, a single parent?”

Title	divorced dads with children, how is dating going on for you?
Author	Gleichstellung4084
Upvotes	11
Comments	7
Date	March 28, 2025 1:21 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1jluxhi/divorced_dads_with_children_how_is_dating_going/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/divorced-dads-with-children-how-is-dating-going-on.1547901 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547901

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