Male survivors of sexual assault by a woman — would you be willing to share your story

HoneyFuture3093 · 2025-05-03T19:58:22+00:00

I had mono and could barely breathe so I was just laying in bed and weak as a kitten. My girlfriend decided that she wanted to have sex and asked if I was interested. Obviously I declined. She kept pestering me and pestering me. Eventually she reached into my pants and started playing with my dick to try to get me interested. I kept saying no and telling her to leave me alone, all of which she ignored. My dick did end up hard from physical stimulation so she pulled down my pants and climbed on top of me. Again, I told her that I didn't want to have sex and to just leave me alone, which she continued to ignore, insisting that I did want sex since I was a man (as cliche as that sounds) and was hard. She rode me for a while, orgasmed and only then did she leave me alone. This was over 20 years ago and, to this day, I doubt that she believes she did anything wrong.

Less serious, but I also had 3 girls in high school follow me around, grabbing and slapping my ass whenever they got a chance. After dealing with it for weeks, I tried to get the office to help me somehow but they just insisted that one of them had a crush on me and that I should just ask her out so they'd leave me alone. I had no interest in any of them and they never tired of terrorizing me, to the point that I avoided my locker and would basically run from class to class so they couldn't catch me. After months of dealing with their bullshit, I finally had enough and screamed at them to cut it the fuck out and leave me alone. They finally did, but now I had several of their male friends trying to corner me for the rest of the year because I scared the girls.

About 15 years ago I was hanging out in a bar at the beach and there was one woman (she was probably like 22 or 23, so not older or anything) who had apparently taken a liking to me. She would follow me around and just in general be a pest. I was married so I had no interest in her and didn't lead her on or anything, but she just wouldn't accept "no" for an answer. Around 1 AM I was heading out and she walked up and wiped her finger across my face. I was weirded out at first but figured she was just drunk as hell until she explained that the liquid she wiped on my face came from her pussy moments before. I guess she thought showing me how aroused she was would make me interested? I was just disgusted.

wumbo-inator · 2025-05-03T19:16:56+00:00

Sorry if I don’t get into the specific details lol

When I was a kid, a babysitter did some very weird fetish stuff to me.

Aside from that, other women would grope me.

I ended up becoming hypersexual as a response to the trauma, yet too untrusting of people to ever want to actually do anything sexual with them.

In highschool, I was a feminist because I thought it was a movement to discuss gendered issues, like me not being taken seriously as a victim of sexual assault because I’m a man.

Every time I tried to tell my story, feminists would knee-cap, obfuscate, and trivialize what happened to me. For example, they’d say:

“Yeah although it’s almost always men doing it to women, it can happen to men too!” As a way to really just take an opportunity to blame men, show empathy and support for women, but act like it’s being done in good-faith for me.

“Yeah men aren’t taken seriously because of toxic masculinity, that’s why we need to get rid of the patriarchy!” And then talk about how to get rid of the patriarchy we need to fight for women’s rights, completely redirecting the conversation away from what I experienced and diverting the attention to women’s issues

Later I realized that feminism is fundamentally incompatible with caring about men. I became reactionary and moved to the right. Became a trad-con. Trad-cons would say things like:

“Man up, don’t let your emotions get to you”

Ultimately I realized there is no movement, side of the political aisle, or culture that actually cares about men.

I also spent some time seeking out abusive relationships as a maladaptive coping mechanism, and a kind of self harm. The way I got out of that was by getting bored of it, but also recognizing that the humans that I would be in that relationship with were also hurting, vulnerable, and hypocritical. Focusing on the imperfection of humans shattered the illusion that they were these super powerful people that lorded over me.

My healing ultimately came by accepting that I’ll be introverted because being a man that cares about men’s issues puts me on the outskirts of what is socially acceptable. And not basing my happiness on the acceptance of others. Also, I stopped hating or blaming anyone for anything. I now try to remind myself that they are just suffering from pain, bias, and mental illness. They’re just human

Now, I surround myself with close people I can trust, and feel very little sense of duty or loyalty to society on a larger level.

I know it’s a little vague. The healing journey was so long that there’s no way I could fit it here. But hopefully that gives you some themes or ideas for what you’re writing

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2025-05-03T20:07:23+00:00

You know, I used to get my ass and junk grabbed A LOT whenever I would go out to clubs in my 20’s and even in my 30’s.

I don’t really go to clubs much anymore, but now that I think back on those moments, despite the fact I liked them, I was sexually assaulted. A LOT, by random women. Tons of them.

If the sexes were reversed, people would be flipping their shit.

dhm2006 · 2025-05-03T17:54:31+00:00

When I was 15 a upperclassman (female) from another school grabbed my butt when I was showing the team the cross country route. I’ve had times in relationships where I didn’t want to have sex but felt obligated because you’re not supposed to say no to a woman. Since I didn’t speak up about it that wouldn’t really qualify but yeah.

Late-Hat-9144 · 2025-05-04T01:59:37+00:00

I was in highschool, grade 8... standing in a busy corridor of the school science block, had a female bully sneak behind me and pants me... jocks and all. Tried me best to pull my pants up but she kept pulling them down, so I turned around and hit her, pulled my pants up and ran out of there.

Had to face the principal, who said "girls wouldn't do that", I had a 1 week suspension for "assaulting" another student.

No one, not even my folks, believed me... so the stupid cow got away with it, and felt even more emboldened to make my life miserable for 2 more years, until she became a teenage mother from some looser on the lacrosse team and dropped out of school.

Its been 20 years since I left school, she tried to reach out a couple of years ago... I told her she was an abusive, manipulative, deceitful, criminal person and if there were any justice in the world, she would have been sent to juvenile detention for her assault on me... but as is stood, I just had to settle for the knowledge that she was a miserable looser who apparently didn't know how condoms work and had to drop out of school due to her own foolish choices and who has made a career out of getting pregnant and claiming childsupport from any man she could manipulate and claiming the dole.

I know that I should be over it by now, but the double standards and injustice of it all still angers me.

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2025-05-03T21:31:24+00:00

I'm wondering if you should be more detailed in your request. "Sexual assault" includes any unwanted touching, like groping or unwanted kissing. That happens to just about every guy - I've been sexually assaulted 4 times. But since you refer to a "path towards healing", I'm assuming you mean rape, not just any sexual assault. Am I wrong? I mean, I've been groped and forcibly kissed, neither of which required a path to healing.

DO-Kagome · 2025-05-03T22:10:13+00:00

Mine began at age 13. Lots of family issues and a major accident left my dad hospitalized for a long time. Mom didn't care too much about me and my brother. I wanted a relationship and girls my age didn't seem as mature or serious as me and ended up finding a girl in a game I played (RuneScape). Turns out she was 30 and by that time I developed nonsexual feelings. She was in northeast Canada and I was in Indiana. This developed into intense sexual exploitation and lasted until I was 17. Lots and lots of manipulation. Over a decade later and it still influences my life.

king_rootin_tootin · 2025-05-04T03:07:30+00:00

I've said this a billion times on Reddit but just a few times IRL:

My Mom sexually abused me as a little toddler in the tub and in private, and as I got older she split from my father and forced me to sleep in her bed and the abuse got worse. I got to be a bit too old for her interest, and her drug abuse got worse, so she agreed to let my father have custody.

It totally ruined me. I have nightmares, body issues, low self esteem, and extreme difficulty being intimate with women.

And the red flags that would have been obvious in a father-daughter relationship were ignored.

DO-Kagome · 2025-05-03T22:09:53+00:00

Mine began at age 13. Lots of family issues and a major accident left my dad hospitalized for a long time. Mom didn't care too much about me and my brother. I wanted a relationship and girls my age didn't seem as mature or serious as me and ended up finding a girl in a game I played (RuneScape). Turns out she was 30 and by that time I developed nonsexual feelings. She was in northeast Canada and I was in Indiana. This developed into intense sexual exploitation and lasted until I was 17. Lots and lots of manipulation. Over a decade later and it still influences my life.

Rand_ard · 2025-05-04T13:43:17+00:00

Wore a loincloth in college for Halloween. Women had no problem coming up and lifting it up. At the bar, on the street. Didn't matter.

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2025-05-04T02:43:56+00:00

OK, apparently you are including all forms of sexual assault. I'll start by saying I'm one of the few guys I know who physically resists when females sexually assault me. When I was in grades around 5 -7, before high school, I had two girls who were total strangers try to walk up to me out of the blue and try to kiss me with no consent. I gave both of them the "straight arm", where you hold your arm out to their chest to hold them away. The first one bounced off of my straight arm and walked away embarrassed.

Unfortunately the second girl was a lot stronger. Walked through my straight arm like it was not even there, and kissed me on the lips. A forcible kiss. I asked her if she was done. She said no, then laughed, and then walked away. In high school, I had two girls - again, total strangers - grab my ass. The first one, I slapped her across the face. The second one, I punched her arm, the arm that grabbed me - I knocked her arm away. I don't know why other guys don't physically resist girls who sexually assault them.

Clan-Destin · 2025-05-03T23:49:47+00:00

AnFGhoster · 2025-05-03T23:57:11+00:00

I'm doing the same thing. Didn't set out to do it but I figured I needed to add it in as an element of the wider story.

Blue_Unicorn_1 · 2025-05-04T12:30:45+00:00

I was fully blown raped by a woman at age 13 and she was 22 at the time obviously most teenage boys fantasise about this but she always told me not ti tell anyone and I didn't so even back then I knew it was kind of wrong. Basically I didn't actually realise until I was in my early twenties how messed up the situation was and it sometimes keeps me awake at night.

BeautifulDangerous98 · 2025-05-04T19:10:28+00:00

thanks for sharing, everybody!!

LateralThinker13 · 2025-05-04T07:50:04+00:00

I have never fully told the story to anybody, and never will. Suffice it to say that it involved a schizophrenic woman (undiagnosed), a firearm, her boyfriend, and a brilliant but emotionally immature 19 year old man who had no idea of what evils people were capable of.

And he was healed by a lovely, lush Wiccan gal though the power of care, acceptance, and copious sex.

jjj2576 · 2025-05-03T20:28:32+00:00

What’s up with the hyphen spacing in your post?

Title	Male survivors of sexual assault by a woman — would you be willing to share your story
Author	BeautifulDangerous98
Upvotes	119
Comments	28
Date	May 3, 2025 4:11 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1kdwkcl/male_survivors_of_sexual_assault_by_a_woman_would/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/male-survivors-of-sexual-assault-by-a-woman-would.1551330 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551330

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