Tbh the advice about “just be yourself” is mostly misunderstood and vague.

From my experience, it really boils down to how much you are living in your own reality and asserting that reality outwards.

If you’re operating in a reality that’s not yours (in dating, it’s her reality) then you’ve already lost the frame and you have very little leverage. This goes for pretty much anything else in life, especially business.

Women can sense how in your reality you are much faster than you can. People pleasing is pretty obvious to pick up and is an instant turn off. Vibes are off if you are pretending to live in a reality other than yours.

Tbh this is the simplest mental model for seduction. Operating from your own clear reality is the most masculine energy you can give off, and women crave someone that knows what the fuck is going on.

If you don’t know what reality you’re living in, then your nervous system will just latch onto the strongest external reality in your vicinity. You are passively living in someone else’s reality, which is a de facto feminine frame.

With women, you’ve already lost because they are also living in a feminine frame most of the time and have no idea how to escalate things.

Start with figuring out who the fuck you actually are and what you stand for, and project that outwards without any shame or guilt.