Hey guys, first time poster. This sub helped tremendously through my multiple year long divorce so I was hoping posting might help get my head straight. Finally past the silver bullet, got a phenomenal outcome, and I feel like I’m fucking up.

Two years of trying to “save the family” while 100% preparing for the worst and I still can’t let go. I told myself the second the divorce was done I was free, but I keep finding reasons to hang on. She’s awful, treats me like shit, never admits wrong beyond a /sorry, yells and shouts and has nothing but apathy for me.

She always says it’s my fault and no matter how I feel I’m not considering how she “felt” or “feels”, emotions make her upset at me, but she keeps saying that big L and I don’t know if I’m just insane and totally wrong and fucking this up for everyone or if I’m being gaslit and manipulated... I have no issues cutting people out, but with her, I can’t seem to shake the idea that I’m actually the problem and I’m losing out on someone that truly loves me. I’m currently seeing a therapist and she more or less sounds disgusted with her behavior- especially past behavior. What’s wrong with me?