So I was recently talking to a guy, and he told me something interesting.

He said he likes the idea of learning how to meet women in real life… but at the same time, he doesn’t want to become womaniser

And what he meant by that was - he doesn’t want to become this guy who’s dating a bunch of women, constantly chasing, sleeping around. He just wants to find a girlfriend eventually. That was his big objection to learning real-life approaches.

And in this post, I want to break down why that mentality is completely off. Because first of all, it might be just an excuse to avoid learning this skillset. And second of all of all - you don’t need to become a womaniser just because you’re learning how to meet women. 

Let’s start with the first thing.

This guy, like most guys who say this stuff… wasn’t actually dating anyone. He wasn’t in some super active dating phase. So what’s really going on here?

It’s a defense mechanism.

Instead of saying, “I’m not able to date a lot of women,” it’s easier to say, “Well, I don’t want to date a lot of women.” See how that works? One is admitting a lack of ability. The other just sounds like a preference. It’s a way to cope.

But let’s address the bigger myth here.

Learning how to meet women in real life does not turn you into a pick-up artist or some player or whatever label you’re afraid of.

It’s the same thing as learning MMA. Most people who learn MMA aren’t trying to be professional fighters. They just want to be fit, know how to defend themselves, challenge themselves physically and mentally. They want to grow.

It’s a skill. A valuable, difficult, transformational skill. And you don’t need to go pro to benefit from it.

Same thing here. Just because you learn how to meet women in real life doesn’t mean you now have to go on dates with hundreds of girls. You don’t need to go on a 10-year conquest. 

You can learn the skill, meet a few women, date around a bit, and when you find someone great - cool. Settle down. That’s totally valid.

But don’t get it twisted - those goals aren’t mutually exclusive. You can learn the skill and still choose to have a relationship. Just like you can learn MMA and never step in the cage.

In fact, in the beginning, it actually helps to date around a little. You learn what you like, what you don’t, what dynamics work for you. You get real experience. But that doesn’t mean you’re becoming some cold-hearted player.

And yeah - this isn’t about sleeping with women to boost your self-esteem. That’s not the point. The point is becoming the kind of guy who can create connections on purpose, not by luck.

So don’t sell yourself this lie like, “I’m not going to learn real-life approaches because I don’t want to be a womaniser”. Nobody’s asking you to be one.

What you are being asked to do is stop hiding behind excuses and start building a skill set that will literally change your life.