[(This question was posed on Quora & it seemed exceptionally-fitting for me to repost my response here. Feel free to add to the list or debate any of my positions in good faith. It’s all, love.)]

”What is not taught to young men?”
You are not born a “wrong”, defective version of a female human that needs to be ‘fixed’ by doing things the way women do things.

You are NOT born “a rapist”, “an abuser”, “toxic”, “narcissistic”, etc & must be deprogrammed before you give in to your naturally-evil proclivities.

You ARE treated unfairly in today’s society and your concerns SHOULD be addressed with the utmost sincerity & focus. That DOES. NOT. MEAN. you should ignore or dismiss women’s suffering in any manner. Two things can be true & acknowledged simultaneously.

YOUR (men’s) history is not defined by the overwhelming majority of men abusing & oppressing the overwhelming majority of women under a sadistic, tyrannical Patriarchy that women somehow overthrew from 1920 - present. Do not carry the burden of guilt for every negative thing any man ever did or for every hardship any woman ever endured.

You do not represent “toxic masculinity”. There is nothing (& could never be anything) “toxic” about your masculinity. YOU determine who you are & how you behave. Toxic “PEOPLE” exist. Toxic women exist. Toxic men exist. “Toxic masculinity” does not. (& don’t go tit-for-tat with ignorant women by throwing “toxic femininity” at them - it doesn’t exist either. Don’t play their game <- everyone loses.)

You are necessary. You are needed. Yes - we’ve heard “I don’t need no man!” from women for the better part of a century. . .but the factual statement from women should be “I don’t specifically need a HUSBAND to PHYSICALLY SURVIVE anymore”. It’s true. . .& it’s true because men civilized the world, men created opportunities for women to support themselves financially (without husbands) AND men protect them in these endeavors, in general. You are apart of the societal structure that makes this possible. Be proud (to be you & a man in general).

You do not get to define “femininity”. . .& WOMEN DO NOT GET TO DEFINE ‘MASCULINITY!’.

You need to understand that there is nothing wrong with having, showing &/or sharing emotions. On the contrary, recognizing that fact is exceptionally-healthy & necessary for masculine development. That doesn’t mean you should (be allowed to) process & express your emotions in precisely the same manner women do! This notion is not based on toxic, tyrannical “alpha male” Patriarchal notions of manhood <-> it’s based on the fact that you (men) are bigger, faster, stronger, taller, more powerful; weigh more, have more muscle mass, have a denser bone structure, have greater fast twitch muscle fibers which equals radically-more-explosive physical dynamicism, more elasticity in the skin, more testosterone, a greater muscular frame, etc. & thereby, are ¡infinitely-more capable of extreme violence! in comparison with women. All forms of protection (police officers, prison guards, military, neighborhood watch, the father defending his family/household, security guards, etc) are enforced by men who are sincerely capable of violence and wield it in a positive manner. It’s necessary, but should also be ‘regulated’ to avoid going too far in any situation. The idea that “boys should treat their emotions in precisely the same manner girls do” is just as dangerous, if not moreso than the idea that “boys should never cry”.

You are, in fact, DIFFERENT from women. Many of those differences make you better suited for certain things. . .& many of those differences make women better suited for certain things. It doesn’t rigidly tie either to uncompromising gender roles & everyone is free to pursue whatever life they believe will grant them the greatest fulfillment. . .but there is nothing wrong with acknowledging the objective fact that men & women are very, Very different.

You must embrace the objective truth that there is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with looking at, appreciating &/or desiring a woman based SOLELY on her appearance. Now - It would make for a flimsy foundation of a serious, long-term, exclusive relationship, but there is still nothing inherently wrong with it. You do not have to be attracted to women in the way they want you to be attracted to them & you do not have to be attracted to women in the same manner that they are attracted to men. We don’t get to demand women formulate attraction to us based on what we want. . .& they don’t get to tell us what to be attracted to either.

You can NEVER ensure every one of your actions, behaviors, thoughts or intentions could never make any woman in any situation uncomfortable on any level. People offend people every second of everyday by simply being themselves - without breaking the law or harming other individuals in any manner. Some things just rub some people the wrong way. No man should be tiptoeing on eggshells all throughout all of human society because some woman somewhere at some point may somehow not like the way he speaks, dresses, walks, chews, jokes, laughs, expresses himself, etc.

You are perfectly well-within your-rights to desire women who do not have a sexually promiscuous past. It’s wrong to be rude about it (to anyone) & disgusting if attempting to humiliate them for it (truly disgusting). . .but this is YOUR life & YOU get to choose who’s by your side throughout it. No one else gets to choose or shame you into THEIR choice for you.

You are perfectly fine to desire a more traditional-minded woman who believes in general gender roles. . .as long as you are willing to uphold YOUR burden of traditional masculine responsibility; can’t be a modern husband requesting a traditional wife.

You are perfectly well-within your-rights to defend yourself against any woman who physically attacks / assaults you. . .and, while excessive violence should never be deemed necessary (hence the term “excessive”), they do not get to attack you & then determine specifically how you respond. Nobody will applaud at your funeral because “well, she killed him but at least he didn’t hit her back. Now, that’s a REAL man. . .i mean, that WAS a real man.”

(Speaking specifically of intelligence [IQ]:) The smartest humans on earth are (& always have been) men. . .& the dumbest humans on earth are (& always have been) men. Accept BOTH truths or neither.

You ARE built to contend with & conquer ANY & EVERYthing this world can (& will) throw at you! You WILL overcome your worst, most damaging experiences. . .b/c you’re still here! Ultimately, you cannot lose in this life unless you quit! #UnapologeticMasculinity