This post is purely informative, but it remains a personal opinion, more or less. And although it’s backed with claims, it is not scientific evidence. It’s just an opinion.

I just thought I’d make this post to rant about my situation as an average male from a third-world country who is expected to get married soon but is seriously thinking about cancelling the whole thing. Lately, I’ve had a lot of deep reflections about the state of my society and where we are headed. I want to describe to Westerners here on this subreddit what it's like to date or marry a woman in a third-world country and how the rules work here.

Misandry is, unfortunately, becoming a global phenomenon, not just a Western trend. The rules are always in favor of women, and they’re getting worse day by day. Where I live, I see tons of ads for “women-only” jobs both on social media and sometimes in real life. The university I graduated from was very happy to announce that 98% of the females graduated, compared to 89% of the males, and they didn’t consider that an issue at all. They gave a very weird and uncomfortable speech about female empowerment, saying they hoped women would occupy more leadership positions because “they are better leaders and the numbers prove it” (referring to graduation rates).

The media constantly bashes men in very subtle ways. Movies are becoming increasingly liberal, with more and more scenes of women screaming at their husbands or even slapping men, and that’s becoming normalized. Meanwhile, portrayals of men as “beta” are more present and accepted than ever.

The dating scene is absolutely ridiculous. We are supposedly a religious Muslim society (98% of the population here is Muslim), so women don’t give men anything outside of marriage. They will accept to go on dates (even though that’s haram), they’ll expect you to pay for all of them (even though you’re not their husband), they’ll wear very tight, revealing clothes and heavy makeup (also haram), and yet any form of intimacy is met with “No, it’s haram, I’m a good girl,” etc.

Dating is far more common than you’d think, and I honestly don’t understand why men tolerate this weird kind of dating where they gain absolutely nothing except wasting their money. Are men really that desperate for women’s attention? Did biology really do us that dirty?

The big joke is that a woman will date you and then tell you she expects you to marry her as soon as possible (because that’s the halal way, right?). But it’s not just about marriage. It’s about the insane list of benefits women get, arguably even more than what Western women receive.

Here in my country, where the average salary is less than $500 a month, you're expected as a man to:

  • Buy a house (starting from $100,000),
  • Buy a car,
  • Give a mahr (a mandatory gift for the bride, usually $1,000+),
  • Give gifts to the family,
  • Organize a massive wedding ceremony (typically over $10,000, yes, massive is the norm; a small wedding is seen as greedy),
  • Buy a wedding ring (a new “requirement” because they saw it in movies),
  • Take her on an expensive honeymoon (again, thanks to Western movie influence).

And that’s just to marry her.

(By the way, she’ll constantly remind you that she’s being “kind” by waiting for you to achieve all of this. It’s generally accepted that a woman can leave a man if he takes too long to meet all these impossible requirements.)

Once you’re married, both by law and religion, you are legally required to support her financially no matter what or you risk jail time. Yes, she can report you for “not spending enough” on her, accuse you of being greedy, and you’ll need to provide receipts to prove otherwise, or face jail.

Most women prefer to be stay-at-home wives, but don’t expect them to cook or clean for you. They might do it, but they’ll always complain and only do the bare minimum. There is no legal obligation for a wife to do housework anyway. And now, the state is even considering giving stay-at-home wives a salary, paid by the man, not the state.

If your wife wants to work, you can’t stop her. She can work, save her own income, and still expect you to pay for everything. And society sees no issue with that.

Divorce is far more common than you’d think, and once you look at the “benefits” women receive, you’ll understand why.

Women basically receive three types of alimony:

  1. One based on religious law,
  2. A second and third that are just added by the state for no reason.

On top of that, she gets half of your assets, even if she was a stay-at-home wife who didn’t contribute to anything. Most women here expect you to already own a home before marriage, so it’s obvious she contributed nothing to it.

And if you have children, she gets gets full custody by default, no discussion. You’ll have zero say in raising your children.

Even in Islam, a man is supposed to be responsible for decision-making involving children after divorce because he’s the one paying for them. But the state here is slowly stripping away all rights men have under Islam while keeping all the parts that benefit women. They’ve removed laws like the one allowing a man to marry up to four wives, while keeping every advantage Islam gives to women, and adding all the Western laws that benefit women too (but none of the Western laws that protect men).

It’s becoming a complete nightmare for many men! A growing number of women are increasingly open and direct about their expectations, often making it clear that emotional connection or compatibility comes second to financial and material conditions. It’s not uncommon to hear things like, “If you can’t provide X or Y, then I’m not interested,” which leaves many men feeling used, undervalued, and pressured to meet unrealistic standards just to be considered worthy of a relationship.