25 F Worked on myself for 2 years, looking to date but getting worried.

Wife_and_Mama · 2025-07-08T04:15:00+00:00

You're honestly doing everything right. You're trying every avenue available to you and taking your search for a good man seriously. You just have to keep at it. Maybe get a gym membership to get you out of the house and around a new group of men. You could take a male centered class, like kickboxing or shooting, but only if it truly interests you. The same goes for joining a church. Otherwise, I'd go over that list with a fine toothed comb. Make sure you're not including wants as must-haves, such as with trivial things like unreasonable height standards. Figure out what really matters and give anyone who checks those boxes a real chance.

For what it's worth, I was in the same place at 25. I remember getting sick one winter and crying while watching Yours, Mine, and Ours, because I was running out of time to have 10 kids if I wanted. Now I'm 37, expecting baby number five in December. If you continue to put in the effort to meet someone, it is a statically likelihood that you will.

Latter_Ad_6840 · 2025-07-08T18:01:41+00:00

I have some advice! I went through this as well. I think a lot of it revolves around being present somewhere and making it known you are single in some discreet manner that doesn’t scream desperation.

Social media, do you have any men you are interested in through there? If so post some things, you can gage who is interested and receptive easily, this is by far the easiest option, especially if they are people who you met/who your friends know. You can also add people you’ve known in the past through here and reconnect. Reach out to past connections etc.
Attend local events so that you mean people close by who would be in a similar situation to you.
I would get an in person job that allows you to meet people or puts you in the city at least. The ideal situation would be one where you work in the city and can easily attend events before/after work. I know this is likely really uncomfortable after WFH for so long.
I know people who met life partners online dating but I feel it’s a cesspool for degenerate fuck boys or people who would get booted out of a friend group due to something. Might be worth a shot though, this is also easy.

eggzndbacon · 2025-07-08T13:55:26+00:00

I’m 27 and met my fiancé at a ski resort on a chair lift a few years ago. The singles line had a lot of men who wanted to chat 😅also have friends who met their significant others at places like the climbing gym, running clubs, etc. Typically these types of activities attract people who enjoy working on themselves and being healthy. For me, I found that a lot of men who ski can be well off and respectable (def not all of them). I also live in a hcol area on the west coast. It felt like most people in my area were already married, but there will always be single men everywhere. Keep putting yourself out there! I was at a point where I was about to give up on dating for a while. As soon as I released my desperation and genuinely started enjoying life and the people I met, I found a man who I will marry. I truly believe in “letting go”. It gives you a vibe that men can’t resist imo!

Nerdslayer2 · 2025-07-08T15:18:30+00:00

You say you have a very specific set of requirements. Just how specific are they? Many women fall into the trap of having such specific requirements that the chance they can even meet a man that meets them all is very low (and that's without even considering the chances that man will also be interested in her).

I think it would be worth it to do the math on all of your requirements to see what percent of the men in your area actually fit them. Normally the Asian requirement would really narrow things down but Vancouver has a ton of Asian people. Does their specific ethnicity matter, or is any type of Asian ok? Let's say 20% of men match this criteria. Then you keep doing that for the rest of your requirements. Maybe 10% have an entrepreneur mindset. 50% might be family oriented (though that could be much lower based on age). Most women have standards for height, income, and not being obese too. You can use this calculator for those things (though I wouldn't check the Asian requirement since this is using data for the entire U.S).

https://igotstandardsbro.com/

So I would take the percentage from that site, multiply it by all the percentages that site isn't taking into account, so the 20% for your Asian requirement, 10% for entrepreneur mindset, and any other requirements you have. Take a look at your final result.

If it's 1 in 1000, that's pretty picky but since some of your requirements aren't shared by most other women, you might have a chance with him if you can meet him, assuming you are reasonably attractive. If it's only 1 in 10,000, you probably would never meet any men that fit your requirements naturally, and if you are able to meet one by hanging out where those men typically are, there is still a chance he might not be interested in you. If it's 1 in 100,000 there are likely about 6 men in Vancouver that meet your requirements.

SereneDesiree · 2025-07-08T04:18:08+00:00

Honestly it sounds like you should go to Silicon Valley and get on a dating app. The male to female ratio is really high and lots of men tick that box.

Meetup.com is really useful for finding groups, too.

AutoModerator · 2025-07-08T04:04:46+00:00

Title: 25 F Worked on myself for 2 years, looking to date but getting worried.

Author Livid_Orchid4068

Full text: Hi everyone! Wanted to start off with a thank you as I’ve learned so much from this thread.

I’m 25F in a small but HCOL city and ready for a life partner after 2 years of being single. The last 2 years, I worked on my mindset, life, body, and femininity and feel and look the best I’ve ever had. I have an amazing support system and decent career so I don’t think I’m lacking too much. However, I am struggling to meet someone who hits my minimum requirements.

I do have a very specific set of requirements (entrepreneur mindset, family orientated, Asian / strong family values etc) but I’m not asking for anything that I don’t bring to the table or won’t compliment. I’m looking for someone who can grow with me!

So far, I’ve been on dating apps, let friends/family know I’m open to introductions, and tried to meet people through traveling or events (don’t party much anymore).

A challenge would be that I WFH so lack opportunities to meet people organically except on the weekends which I usually spend with family/friends. Maybe that my social media is also on private?

Also want to point out that I’m helping out family and saving for a place but if I need to spend more to be in certain settings where I can meet my partner, I’m open to suggestions.

I will say I have a large number of platonic male friends (as I like talking about enterprenuership) but all of them are strictly platonic/have gf/or I have no issues introducing them to my future partner.

Overall, I’m looking for suggestions on how I can increase my chances of meeting my partner. I’ve been trying my best to live my life and keep working on myself but I’m starting to see days where I get a bit sad and worried that I won’t meet my life partner.

Any advice is appreciated and happy to share more 💛

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Title	25 F Worked on myself for 2 years, looking to date but getting worried.
Author	Livid_Orchid4068
Upvotes	13
Comments	17
Date	July 8, 2025 4:04 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1luf405/25_f_worked_on_myself_for_2_years_looking_to_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/25-f-worked-on-myself-for-2-years-looking-to-date.1556594 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556594

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