How do I keep playing nice?

goingoffgridd · 2025-08-01T15:26:33+00:00

Nice guys finish last. Keep the smile on your face and hire the best lawyer you can. I'm in the exact same boat. Sounds like it might even be the same guy! Four months till our 20 year mark.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-07-29T03:50:55+00:00

Your temper will be the thing to flip the script and give her the advantage - i.e. claims of abuse and child protective services. So keep a handle on it however you need to. And I don't think you're playing nice, or shouldn't look at it that way, you're: (1) taking the high road, (2) keeping your kids secure, and (3) preparing for an easier divorce.

Once she's out of the house, your life gets 100x better and so long as her ex bf is with her to "support her" your divorce will go easy. The smart move is to keep giving her reasons to go to him (if she doesn't already have them) and then file once she's out.

Ok_Coconut2973 · 2025-07-27T21:54:32+00:00

Was in similar situation a year ago. Ended up taking her back and DEEPLY regret it. We are now divorcing and she’s trying to fight me on the date of separation. Dude, file and get the ball rolling. Playing nice gets you nowhere. It’s what I learned unfortunately. It does not work. Unless maybe you married a saint, she will take advantage. You need to take steps to protect yourself legally. Doesn’t mean you be rude to her. But treat her with indifference. She cheated. It’s over man. She lost attraction. The shit women say about finding themselves just means they lost attraction for you. The sooner you accept that the better off you’ll be.

Pullout66 · 2025-07-27T10:57:16+00:00

“Be nice until it's time to not be nice” -James Dalton.

Almost similar story to yours.. i steered into it. I took the angle "Yes go find yourself.. get a new place and find yourself." Had her out in 3 months..

It sucks man... but you need to show zero emotion and for your kids and your sake keep your temper in check... that "woman" ain't worth any emotion. Strictly buisness from here on out dude.

Tricky-Charge8467 · 2025-07-27T05:30:20+00:00

Stop playing nice and start playing legal chess. Lawyer the fuck up, do not let her have the house or leave the house unless you are absolutely ok with never stepping foot back into that house. Take the wheel and fucking drive this ship brother. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT let your temper “pop off”, play the long game if for nothing else than for your kids man. Let her dig her own grave, she made her bed, now let her lie in it. That does not mean you can’t be amicable but you need to move with calculated precision, legally and in complete compliance with the law. Along the lines of not popping off, DO NOT reveal your cards whatsoever. DO NOT threaten her, don’t give her any clue as to what you may or may not “have” on her. DO NOT give her any indication as to what your planning or what the outcome may or may not be based on her choices. Take control but let her believe she’s steering the ship. You are in a high stakes game of chess right now in which your entire future, and your children’s future is at stake. Let her “find herself” and if she’s anything like my ex who needed to do the same, she will repeatedly fuck up along the way. While you’re quietly documenting every fucking thing and standing by and supporting your kids 100%. If you can do this, your outcome will be exponentially better off. Your performance doesn’t have to be perfect but it’s gotta be stable. I was in your exact same situation the past six months and settled last Thursday in a way that my attorney and I could only describe as a grand slam. I didn’t want this, I tried everything to fix it, she had me by the fucking balls for the first half. My best advice other than what I just suggested? You need to fucking detach yourself from her immediately and it’s fucking hard as fuck. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, despite knowing she had at least three new dicks up in it and I’d still let her come back. You got this bro! Man the fuck up. Oh, one last piece of advice. ChatGPT is now your new best friend. Don’t send another emotional charged message, period. Anything and everything you want to say to her, run it through AI first with the following prompt: make this BIFF and legally bulletproof; then paste whatever message, whatever it is, into the chat log and send that response it gives you. You’ll figure out what I’m saying once you start doing this. This will be your saving grace my man. Keep me posted.

Title	How do I keep playing nice?
Author	TrustInDustin_3454
Upvotes	14
Comments	10
Date	July 27, 2025 12:14 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ma8g0e/how_do_i_keep_playing_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-i-keep-playing-nice.1558203 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558203

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