One of the things about us men in society is that is more socially acceptable to police our behavior and nitpitck compared to women, it kinda goes go to something I would like to call hyper-agency paradox. Not really an official term, but look at it this way, as a man yes you have technically speaking more freedom, but you also have less social guidance afforded to you compared to women, women on the other hand although they may be more infantilized and de-escalated and so people don't feel as challenged by a woman's authority or assertion as much as a man's, at least in common everyday conventions, of course exceptions exist like military women or women are serious narcissists which you see a lot in feminist circles, but women let's be real most of the time they're not met with seriousness the same way men are a lot of men are met with that seriousness

So what is funny to me is that society once agains pulls this double bind in hopes you don't realize it, and yet even when it comes to this conversation society once again plays dumb and disingenuous, yes a lot of men can reinforce hypermasculine roles and molds on other men, that is a fair tree to bark, yes a lot of men bully other men in jock for position, a lot of men haze other men to test their masculinity, a lot of men engage in social combat with other men to see how much respect and worth they think it demonstrates, so on and so forth

But let's also not act like women don't do this: Look at dating, a lot of women literally always want the biggest baddest chad, also a lot of women behind close doors say some of the most misandristic, racist homophobic downplaying foul shit you could ever imagine, proof even women kinda prey on a lot of men's vulnerabilities and struggles, also a lot of mothers reinforce rigid gender roles on boys much more than on girls, or if it is an all-boys setting, typically the guy with the most warmth, moral character and self-respect will get tested the most, oh and on female bullies is an even more interesting one, because a lot of female bullies will pick on guys already struggling to get by in the social hierarchy, whether it be poor men, neurodivergent men, socially awkward guys, male virgins and hell sometimes even mild racist bullying against racially marginalized men, but because women are more picky anyways if the guy can compensate with swagger and bravado that kinda cancels that out, where as the male bullies kinda pick on almost everybody, they're more democratic in a way, yes they'll pick on the little special ed guy with glasses, the flamboyantly gay dudebro or the chubby unathletic dude, but male bullies will also try to get even with other jocks, athletes, wealthy guys and other high-status contenders, for women they can't bully upward like that with either gender because of not only the monopoly of force, but also because women are more resources-cautious unlike men who are more reckless and impulsive about who they mess with

This is why feminists over-obsess over this talking point so much, instead of also acknowledging their movement does as much harm at marginalizing men's issues and hardships as much as any other soundbite surrounding, traditionalism, patriarchy or toxic masculinity, they know they control academia, they control most HR resources, most PR campaigns and are increasingly forging more bargaining power in politics over men

On the surface it sounds like a lot of feminists sound like they're saying out of the kindest of their heart ''Toxic masculinity is why men can't cry and paint their nails'', but if you been in politics, particularly social politics for quite some time, you know this is just another manipulation tactic they use to get the public adrift in the involvement of men's issues

Plus feminists reinforce toxic masculinity just as much, why do so many hardcore feminists try so hard to emulate an overly-masculine persona? Rude, combative, confrontational, obnoxious, overly-entitled and too territorial in conversations, sounds to me like a whole projection

But of course the normies will never question, they'll eat and chew up whatever fad and bandwagon society throws at them, their lack of intellectual discernment will have them defend the status quo of this rather than question it at all

Anyways, thank you for reading my Tedtalk