As much I start to feel better. She came over to go through 25 years of Xmas stuff. Just seeing all the things that remind me of our amazing holiday family times, dividing it up and her taking stuff sucks. I hate it. She said well I get out of your hair and I was like stay. We can chat or whatever and she said she wanted to get everything unpacked and shower. I was like ok. She just pulls off. Breaks my heart so bad. I’ve tried and tried and the coldness is tough. The waves of depression and anxiety, physical waves I feel rush through me. I hate every minute of it. I hate being lonely and the more I try to do things and get out, I just want to seclude myself from everything.