What would you do if the mother of your children cheated on you?

Nickeloxide · 2015-11-02T10:53:19+00:00

I love my kids, but I would leave. My children need to see that their Father has enough self-respect to never put up with that shit.

Billee_Boyee · 2015-11-02T11:21:03+00:00

Your only options are to be the cuck in the scenario you described, or to be the guy she cheats with.

AWALT

You decide who you want to be.

dandar4600 · 2015-11-02T13:17:55+00:00

There was a thread on dead bedrooms from a wife complaining that after she cheated once her husband started going out and banging other women and relegated her to a roommate / coparenting status. This sounds like a good solution to a cheating wife problem.

fnordsnord · 2015-11-02T14:55:54+00:00

You've pretty much put your finger on a dilemma, and it depends on the man, his background, and the situation as to what the "right" response it.

It is totally redpill to take responsibility for any children you sire. And children do best when their father is involved in their lives daily. That's not a typo. I said "DAILY," not "weekends." A case can be made for staying in the marriage.

However, a case can also be made for providing an example as someone who has enough self-respect not to tolerate that behavior in his woman.

I, for one, do not see a 100% clean "win" here.

My own approach, shooting from the hip, would be to immediately move into the guest room, put a deadbolt on it, and withdraw ALL interaction from my wife that did not involve logistics for the children or household. Then see where it went.

NiftyDolphin · 2015-11-02T17:06:00+00:00

I wonder if it really is THAT blue-pill of those guys that stay for the sake of getting to see their children every day and end up eventually forgiving their whore wives...

If it were that simple, I'd see no problem with staying.

Let's say that you were the living, breathing, definition of a fuck-up. You became this fuck-up after you married.

Your wife feels that she's been bait-and-switched, but gives it the old college try for her kids. Day in, day out, she's giving it her yall and you're fucking up by the numbers. Day after day, month after month, year after year.

Then one day, another guy pays attention to her and she says, "Fuck it. I may as well get some solace out of this shit show I call a life" and she starts an affair.

Sometime later, you un-fuck yourself. You go back to being the man she fell in love with. The father your children are proud of. She kicks the other guy to the curb and re-attaches to you. Because you're a good guy now, she will never, ever, ever cheat again.

Then you find out.

Could you forgive her? I know I could. I've been on the other side of that shit show, and while I've never cheated, it certainly broke me of the "Errmerrrgerd, I'd NEVER cheat" mindset that is prevalent.

So yeah, I could see myself forgiving my wife: IF I was a colossal fuckup and IF my wife put her due-diligence into sticking with me before the affair and IF my wife never strayed after I un-fucked myself.

I think that a lot of guys think the same thing.

Women know this.

Which is why there is the constant drum-beat in almost every story you see, that it must be the man's fault that the woman cheated. If only the man hadn't screwed up, then she absolutely, positively would not have cheated.

Which, in most of the cases I've run across over the years, isn't the story at all.

So if the stars aligned and I was in one of those One in a million situations, I'd take my wife back.

In every other realistic scenario, I would move my things into a spare room and immediately begin divorce proceedings.

good_mourning97 · 2015-11-02T23:03:13+00:00

I firmly believe that no man needs to be married to the mother of his children in order to be a good father.

They say you put your kids needs before yours the moment you decide to have one, but kids need to learn that cheating on your husband is not acceptable.

Also most times something that drastic happens, I find hard to believe that the relationship can keep like nothing happened, there will be "friction" there will be conflict, and that could arguably mess with a kid life even more than divorce. Two unhappy parents vs. two divorced parents kind of scenario.

secret_barber · 2015-11-02T14:49:16+00:00

Personally, having children is not reason enough to stay together. Your kids will have a better perspective on quality relationships if you are both happy. No sane person is happy when committed to a cheater.

good_mourning97 · 2015-11-02T16:41:38+00:00

I'm ashamed to to admit it, but when this happened to me I tried to work things out and stayed for the kids. I stayed until my oldest moved out on her own. My youngest was 17 and he left with me. I was blue through and through but I did what I thought you are supposed to do. I was cheated on 3 times (that I know of) and I chose to stay because of kids and because I honestly thought she was sorry for doing it. I was a pathetic joke and I just never saw it. I think that I was as low as a man can possibly get without actually letting her fuck other people in front of me. I know guys that have been through this kind of shit always say "never stay for the kids" but I thought my situation was different. It wasn't. So now I say, never stay for the kids. You can always make some kind of arrangement to see them if she gets custody.

Title	What would you do if the mother of your children cheated on you?
Author	good_mourning97
Upvotes	1
Comments	21
Date	November 2, 2015 10:21 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3r71w2/what_would_you_do_if_the_mother_of_your_children/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-would-you-do-if-the-mother-of-your-children.155976 https://theredarchive.com/post/155976

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