Just got put through the grinder. Caught my ex cheating right at the same time the business I’d spent 7 years building was slipping through my fingers. Long term goal was to build this business and live off of her salary until it could afford to support us both. First 6 years the business was thriving. 22% average year over year growth in an industry averaging 6%. The last year I made a critical mistake aligning with a terrible wholesale partner that totally shit the bed on what they committed to in order to get me to sign. I was working 80-100hours a week to try and turn things around but the business ended up failing.

6 weeks prior to the business closing my ex started causing DUMB arguments. I was so stressed out I had zero time for it and would shut it down quickly. One night she stood me up on our dinner plans claiming she was going to a happy hour with the ladies from a run club she’d recently joined. She didn’t come home until 3am, was wasted, and smelled HEAVILY of men’s cologne. Huge argument. Denied anything up and down. Tried to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Couple days later she starts another argument when she deliberately told a mutual friend she didn’t remember anything about our wedding. Obviously pissed me off. Another blow up argument. I kicked her out of the house. She followed up a couple days later by saying she wanted a divorce. During this time I found out every single person in said run club was either divorced or in the process of.

The following week our shared office computer just so happened to do an update overnight and rebooted. I click on the browser and open GMail and boom, there it is. “Wine & Dine” invites from some dude, a guy in the run club. Google docs shared between her and this dude with an EXTENSIVE list of extravagant travel destinations (Pyramids, Venice, Greece, etc.) and one with the name of a fancy restaurant with a note from the dude saying “they only take reservations a year in advance- got one for this November.” I found this in February so the affair was happening for at least 3 months at this time.

I approached her and outright asked if there is another man. She swore up and down there was not. I confronted her with all the evidence I pulled from her email and she came clean. I recorded this conversation.

In subsequent text messages she also openly admitted to the affair stating she “never intended this to happen, but can’t change how she feels” and that she “met someone and something organic built. I never thought I’d be in this situation.”

Business closes and I’m out. Took a job out of state. We had a meeting with our realtor at the house because we agreed to sell it and split whatever we get. Only owned it for two years so likely not much but maybe 6-10k$ each. I told her I was moving at this meeting in two weeks time because when she walked in all my shit was already in boxes, artwork off the walls and dry wall patched for painting. She LOST IT. Started crying saying “this isn’t what I wanted” blah blah blah.

I moved. Took my artwork, my clothes, my dvds, my car, some kitchen stuff, a TVs, my music equipment, and a coffee table. So basically needed to totally furnish my new place. All things I owned prior to marriage with the thought that we would divide the marital stuff later. I also took the cats that I adopted 2 and 3 years prior to marriage. Microchips registered only to me. All undisputed non-marital property, or so I thought.

I told her I was filing and she would be served as soon as I could. She rushed to the courthouse to file and for some reason was aloud to do so 5 months in to our separation when that city requires 6 months before paperwork can be filed. Secured her position as Plaintiff. I was served at work. Looked through the paperwork and saw that she checked the box asking if domestic violence had occurred. Immediately retained an attorney.

My attorney responded to her complaint and when she received it she flew off the handle. Emailed my attorney and said outright that if I don’t give her whatever she wants she will go to the courthouse and file a protective order. She then text me and said she was going to “ruin my existence” by foreclosing on the house, reporting my car stolen, blocking me from making car payments, removing my access to all bank accounts and credit cards, going to call my employer and tell them I’m a woman beater, insulted me numerous times calling me a piece of shit loser. All in text. Screenshot, screenshot, screenshot and handed it all to my attorney. I remained calm and did not insult her back. The most I said was that she betrayed me, lost my trust, and she needed to fuck off.

Two months later she hired an attorney. He immediately started in by sending me nearly 200 interrogators asking all sorts of pointed questions and it was abundantly clear what his intentions were- character assassination. Asking about how much alcohol I consume, if I’ve been deemed alcohol dependent, how often do I consume alcohol and forget what happened, etc etc. My attorney told me this is absolutely par for the course when an attorney represents someone caught doing horrible shit is to just distract distract distract with a bunch of bullshit. I answered all the questions honestly. Yes, I consume alcohol. No I have not been deemed dependent. I do not consume to the point of memory loss.

Anyway, she successfully accomplished what she set out to do. The house was foreclosed on, my car was repossessed, and she totally cut me off financially. At the time she made 3x what I did, well over 160k$/yr. No ability to claim financial hardship. Meanwhile, I had to cash in bonds my grandmother bought for me at birth to have spending cash between my move, starting my new job, and starting to receive paychecks. I’m sitting here thinking there’s NO WAY a judge can look at this and not see her for what she is. Wrong.

Her attorney did exactly as expected. I’m apparently a drunken woman beater with ZERO evidence and she “had no choice but to flee a dangerous situation” because she was “afraid for her life.” My attorney showed everything we’d gathered on the cheating, the financial destruction, all of it. Including the text when I told her to find somewhere else to stay. Overly clear she didn’t “flee” she was asked to leave, because I caught her cheating. I also had 4 people appear and attest to my character as not being anything described. People who were in our wedding party. Traveled with us, stayed with us. 13+ years of friendship each, minimum. She had no one.

Judges determination? He “firmly believes” I was abusive and he “understands” why she “sought solace” in another man. Nothing she did from a financial perspective or the house was even mentioned, denied my alimony claim, and awarded her my cat. Gave me 10 days to comply by delivering the cat to her attorney by 4pm on the 10th day. Her attorney filed for contempt at 4:15pm. I was weighing my options to appeal and knew I had 30 days so following that 10 day order was not going to happen. Her argument as to why she should be awarded the cat? Photos of her holding him.

I formally asked the judge in a motion to reconsider with additional evidence of her misconduct included as 7 different exhibits- denied. Contempt hearing was this morning. I have 6 weeks to surrender the cat or a warrant will be issued + fees, court costs, and accrued damages and interest.

HAPPY FRIDAY, BOYS!