I feel lost and don’t feel confident that I can pull

HabitConfident7788 · 2025-09-24T02:23:46+00:00

You guys need to get some sunlight and hang around men that get bitches that’s how you’ll pick up on game by observing them

HabitConfident7788 · 2025-09-24T02:22:14+00:00

You shouldn’t be trynna pull … when you’re in such a rot.

You have to improve yourself mentally and physically

Or you’re gonna go down a series of bad interactions because of your bad energy.

This is crucial as women love a calm assertive well spoken bold guy .. you cannot be this if you’re in a bad state of mind

July14-1789 · 2025-09-24T01:59:35+00:00

Why are you waiting hours?

nintendoborn1 · 2025-09-24T02:09:24+00:00

God I feel the same way

Fidel__CashFl0w · 2025-09-24T02:47:07+00:00

Your mindset seems like you’re giving up before even starting a conversation. You’re putting too much thought during the conversation instead of letting it flow freely. I used to have that problem where I would be talking to someone and while they’re trying to tell me some interesting information about them I’m in my head thinking where and how im going to lead the conversation next thing you know I already missed half of what they said and im panicking internally on how im going to correct it. You need to practice small talk not just with women but with everyone. It helps tremendously, just let things flow naturally, flirt a little and try to make them laugh. Don’t go with the intention of hooking every time you go out or talk to a girl, you start losing focus this way and women can feel it. Just talk to them like normal human beings and they’ll respond accordingly. You don’t need to be with them for hours at a party to get them to come with you. Chat with them a little move a long then come back every now and then and just have fun with them. If they like you they’ll end up finding you throughout the night. Also work on your confidence mentally and emotionally. You have to believe you’re an interesting guy which I’m sure you are in order to talk to other people. It takes time but you’ll get there

Illustrious_Size610 · 2025-09-24T10:13:20+00:00

Your job to start creating the sexual experience is to be direct by expressing what she makes you feel in an emotionally driven way, not to try to get sex (or a relationship or reciprocation or anything else) but rather to invite her to feel the arousal you are feeling for real internally, so that she submerges herself into the emotion and you both just allow each other to sit with the emotion.

And what is the emotion that you express? The way she makes you feel in terms of light-hearted sexual desire (not of love). The emotional effect that her body, her behaviour, her mannerisms have on you. That's what flirting sexually is. Expressing your male sensuality both non-verbally verbally by telling her the things she makes you feel in terms of attraction and sexual desire, for example:

"The way you are trying so hard not to kiss her right now", "the way you lose concentration when she smiles cute like that, the way your heart rate increases when she does "that" particular thing", "the way her gaze kinda hypnotizes you", "the way her touch hits you like a wave", "the way her mannerisms warm up your heart". “The way you feel so drawn to her and can't help it", "the way your mind just short-circuit when you saw her wearing that dress", the way you forgot what you were planning on doing today when you saw how cute she looked", "the way she just took your breath away", "the way you can't help but imagine how you'd like to pin her against the wall and make her yours",...

This is how you flirt verbally, not by telling them compliments or descriptions of what good qualities she has, but by expressing the emotional effect or reaction that her attributes or actions have on you instead, and combining it with the body language and it’s sexual self-expression.

When you flirt sexually, you are expressing the desire she causes you to feel in such a way that invites her to feel that desire, lust and sexual tension that is going through your veins.

Their impulse to start creating sex with you is something they have to feel, and they feel it when you express that desire in such a real and intense way that she imagines your emotions in such vivid detail that she can’t help herself but to feel it as her own. She sees the way you check her body up and down, the way you bite your lips suggestively, the tone of contained lust in your voice, the way your gaze pretty much says to her: “I’d fuck you so hard right now”.

That is what motivates her to feel the sexual energy and can cause her to just want to make out with you on pure raw impulse, and to have sex with you, without you needing to ask her if she would like to have sex and without her evaluating whether she should or not because she is not in her head, she is just feeling it and letting herself be carried by the current of your vibe in that specific moment.

It's something that you say without expecting anything in return, so you should not expect her to tell you “thank you”, or “I feel the same way”, or “you turn me on too”, or "ok let me kiss you"... Just express it because it's just how you feel and only want it to share it right now while you are currently feeling it because the only purpose is inviting them to create a sexual experience if they feel it what you are expressing.

Now she could say whatever she wants: "We barely know each other", "you are so direct, so crazy, so forward", "i have a boyfriend"... Whatever. If she says things like that, you don't say sorry, try to argue, take it back, go defensive, or anything, you simply double down by saying:

"I hear you, I don't want anything, it's just how I feel". While you continue your self-expression verbally and non-verbally.

See? You are not trying to convince her, you are not asking for something, you just keep expressing how you feel internally because that should be your only focus.

This is the secret. Literally. Express feelings without demanding anything in return for sharing your feelings. But if you express feelings expecting her to give you something, then that's pressure and it won't work.

What this does is create sexual tension. And sexual tension is the emotional state where a woman starts to feel aroused, horny, etc because she is feeling your arousal and horniness, which is contagious

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2025-09-24T15:21:13+00:00

You need to learn how to flirt and how to go out.

You are going out in hopes of getting laid when you hsould be going out in hopes of just having fun. College is about learning how to talk to people in general.

You just said you talk to girls for hours. That's not the way to go. Like what are you doing in those hours that it doesnt lead to something more? Girls go to parties to have a good time, not talk to a guy about random things even if it sounds like it's going well in a lot of ways you are becoming their best friend/venting person.

Again you shouldnt feel bad, we all had to learn the hard way. Dont let it get to you. Next time at a party, just have fun with the bros. Then when your favorite song comes up, grab the first girl who is single and dance with her.

Dont linger around girls, have a fun chat wit hthem and be a social butterfly. Talk to everyone. Girls love social butterflies. The thing is girls have their walls up because every guy wants to fuck them and they know it. So they only lower those walls when they see a guy having a good time and not caring if he talks to them or not. Dont put them on pedestals, learn how to socialize and go into every converstaion like "i dont care if i ever see you again. im going to be myself regardless of whetehr you like it or not".

Ill give an example, I once was talking to a girla nd found out she lived in a rich part of town. So i go something like "oh so you a rich girl". She goes "OMG i hate when people say that im not". So I go "girl dont worry about it, i think you should own it. Nothing wrong with being a nepo baby". And she laughed and i had her pulled in. Couple years ago, id never had said that but i just didnt care if she got mad at me or not. I could've stayed all night next to her but i decided to be a social butterfly and talk to other people I went back to her a few times and we chatted, towards the end of the night she was leaving and she walked across the party to make sure she said goodbye to me. Again this would've never happened years ago because i would've been too focused on getting ehr to like me, staying by her side all night, etc. Instead i was just focused on having a good time with people.

Suspicious_Scale4243 · 2025-09-24T06:31:39+00:00

having confidence being a bro i can send you a pdf of a book which is gonna give you damn confidence. jus dm me dude

byte_slayer_oni · 2025-09-24T22:50:57+00:00

selective mutism until middle school so i get the whole not knowing when someone's interested thing. few things that helped me:

• started with just genuine compliments (like their jewelry or something) • asked follow up questions when they mentioned something • realized most people are just as nervous

took forever but got easier with practice

RepulsivePlastic2139 · 2025-09-24T07:00:13+00:00

Do you really want to pull girls at a party? Do you want to flirt with 10 girls until one of them kisses you? Getting rejected tons of times just to get some kisses and maybe some pussy? A girl who probably does this all the time, without protection, and will not talk to you afterwards?

I say it like this because, you don't need this. You won't die for not getting laid. Just keep doing your thing and get to know girls in normal non-toxic scenarios. Become an interesting and confident man, and search for girls with the purpose of getting to know them, to see if they are worthy of you!

For me, those guys that sleep with girls at parties every weekend are pathetic. They think with their penis, their world revolves around sex, they flirt with anything, they talk to everyone, they just spread their dignity and decorum around the floor.

Sorry if I sound conservative, I just never felt comfortable with hook up culture and parties. Had my first relationship at 24 and it was awesome, the wait was worth it. The big difference is that I started living alone, got a great job, started doing excersice, moved to a new city. Hell, I felt on top of the world and I pulled a beautiful girl without even looking for one. (be careful to not fall for the infinite self-improvement trap though)

Title	I feel lost and don’t feel confident that I can pull
Author	Independent-Virus146
Upvotes	24
Comments	45
Date	September 24, 2025 1:58 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1nozzxj/i_feel_lost_and_dont_feel_confident_that_i_can/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-feel-lost-and-dont-feel-confident-that-i-can.1562675 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562675

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