I’m a very socially awkward person, and I don’t have any friends, so I’m asking for a suggestion here. I’m 23, and my boyfriend is 28. We’ve been together for a year now, and he’s been incredibly sweet and supportive. He’s been there for me when my family wasn’t, and he was by my side during both of my surgeries. Our relationship is lovely and passionate, but sometimes the fights get so extreme that his behaviour confuses me.

He’s perfect in all ways. He helps me with the household chores, supports me financially, and loves my pets equally. But there are some things that don’t sit well with me. Whenever I get hurt or emotional, he just sits there and doesn’t come to comfort me or console me. The same thing happens when I’m mad. This has happened multiple times during arguments, and we’ve ended up on no contact. He’s never taken accountability for what he’s done, which has hurt me.

Recently, we were having an argument, and he pulled out something I had written in my personal diary. I don’t like to talk about my past with anyone, because I had a bad past. I was seeking love from people with bad intentions, so when my boyfriend and I were new to each other, I lied about my past relationship. I eventually opened up during our conversation, but he started pulling out things from my diary whenever after our argument. I had written things to lighten my mood, like about him and out of anger, because I didn’t want to keep those things in my mind. He started drinking my past, and he was telling me how he felt about me and how I pretended to be someone I wasn’t. The argument wasn’t about that. We were literally discussing something and I was very lovingly telling him that okay, you have done something, and you went quiet, you didn't come to console me, and that ended up hurting me, and he was just not taking accountability of his action at that moment and back-and-forth back-and-forth. He was just continuously trying to defend himself, just not accepting that him going quiet, every time we have and a little argument or even little misunderstanding. He just goes quiet. It hurts me a lot, and then I feel that like is it my fault have I done something and when he started bringing my past and stuff about my diary, I just went quiet that night and he was continuously renting for one hour straight while I was controlling my tears in bed. It was 4 AM and since then I haven't spoken a word to him. The next day, he just packed his stuff and left for his city without informing me. He texted me after landing, but he hasn't apologised for his stuff because he like every time feels that it's not his fault. And his birthday is coming soon and he did a lot on my birthday. He bought furnishing for my new house. He had gifted me a giant teddy bear full of roses and made me feel really special, and I don't know what to do. I just naturally feel obliged to do something for him because he had done something for m And his birthday is coming soon and he did a lot on my birthday. He bought furnishing for my new house. He had gifted me a giant teddy bear full of roses and made me feel really special, and I don't know what to do. I just naturally feel obliged to do something for him because he had done something for me on my birthday, but also I just feel very disrespected for the stuff that he had said that night, and he hasn't apologise to me or even spoke to me or tried explaining himself to me, I don't know what to do