What am I doing wrong?

FemtoG · 2015-11-19T17:38:39+00:00

They could hear the clip clop of your heel lifts.

SkorchZang · 2015-11-19T17:39:23+00:00

Need to see some past texting exchanges that went nowhere for you. You said this, she said that. If there are some mistakes they can be pinpointed and gotten rid of.

Usually this behavior arises when you make the woman feel like you're on the chase, or that you're taking her too seriously. You never want any one girl to get the vibe that she's the center of your entire universe. They get that damn vibe from the subtlest things, too - you may be shooting yourself right in the foot somewhere and failing to realize it because of the difference between overt (male) communication and covert (female) subtext.

Ola_Kala · 2015-11-19T17:21:27+00:00

Need more detail mate. A majority of your message seemed like you were trying to convince me to sleep with you. If you are taking the same approach to women, and or talking about yourself constantly and not asking them questions --> that could be your problem.

but when I ask them out they either stop answering or make excuses

Maybe your text game is too much?

puamua · 2015-11-19T19:13:14+00:00

Sounds like you take yourself a little too seriously. Forget the lifts, that's indicative of your issue. Women will only get with a man that accepts himself. There are two ways to convince women of this, you can fake it (pickup/lifts/making up a crazy active social life) or you can actually spend the time to look inside and do the mental work. You just gotta find a strategy to be content. You gotta fight that anxiety that there's something you should be doing and something you're lacking, you gotta be content no matter what happens because even if all you have is yourself, you accept that because you accept yourself. It seems simple, but this is one of those it's easy but it takes a long time of full concentration type of things, find your strategy and do it. At that point the women can come and go and it doesn't matter to you, that's the point that they WILL come and go, once you don't give a shit about them. Because they're programmed to see you not giving a shit about them as you being comfortable in your own skin, which is great because that's the important part for you and your health anyways, and needs to be your goal.

I think you might be taking trp too seriously as well. Trp teaches that you have to improve to be successful with women, which is true, but it's more important to maintain frame around women because that's what self assured men do in all situations. The better answer is to be self assured though, that's what explains those kinda dumpy guys that seem to go through women at a much higher rate than you'd expect, they're extremely self assured, possibly to the point of a mental illness, but either way it triggers the female mating drive and works.

You've got the improvement mentality down, when you hit the gym, have a sparring match, or face whatever challenges that make up your life, you should be thinking with a sense of urgency. You want that anxiety to drive you, but you have to drop that mentality when you interact with women. You have to be able to reflect on the things you've accomplished and develop a positive train of thought so you can act with confidence that things will turn out positively regardless of things you can't control, such as a woman saying yes or no to a date with you. This is outcome independence, and again, females will test for this because it implies an underlying confidence. Plus, once you think like that, it doesn't matter if you get 15 or 1500 rejections, you'll still be able to go home at the end of the day and move on with your life instead of analyzing every aspect of what happened and how you can improve. I'm pretty sure that analyze everything mentality comes from trp and that's cool for a little while with dating at the get go if you're just clueless, but once you kinda get the hang of things, you gotta just start letting shit go, just forget about it. Don't distract yourself, actively think about it, say to yourself, "I can be content anyways," and resolve it in your mind.

Everyone has the same access to happiness if they accept themselves. From the wealthiest 6'5 guy with stacks of palaces and a new woman every day to a bum on the street that hasn't been laid in 15 years and has severe tooth pain to the point that he can only sleep while blackout drunk, everyone's happiness is defined by their perception of their life. You can choose to perceive things in a different way if you try hard enough. Have you tried meditating for a half hour a day? Do it in the morning, spend only this time worrying about what you should be doing, the direction your life is taking, how you're perceived, or what could have been done better yesterday, with all that in the back of your mind, the rest of the day, you can focus on the now without worrying that your life is spiraling out of control. Hey man, the most important part is to enjoy it, not to get every woman you ask out like magic. Throw away the lifts.

TheMinistryOfAwesome · 2015-11-19T19:27:10+00:00

I don't want to de-rail the question. But I'd quite like to get some insight into your psychology. Why do you wear heel lifts?

It's really quite weird for me. I've never even noticed height as an issue at all until i started reading TRP and Seddit. Cock size, sure; fatness yep; hair/clothes/face always... but height just doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I'm 5'11" so nothing special in terms of height - but never once in my life has it ever been an issue. Granted before a 1.5 years ago i'd been in a relationship for nearly a decade and before that it was totally 'shit' with women.

More on topic. Could you possibly give some examples of your conversations, with the appropraite personal details faded out? Maybe if people here see your conversations they could provide more insightful information.

FatGirlsInPartyHats · 2015-11-19T20:05:54+00:00

Troll post. Don't engage.

Title	What am I doing wrong?
Author	Norb3rt
Upvotes	0
Comments	14
Date	November 19, 2015 5:17 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3tge9f/what_am_i_doing_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-am-i-doing-wrong.156767 https://theredarchive.com/post/156767

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