39yo here, the last 5-6 years have been a struggle with my mental health due to a bad relationship.

I recently got out of the tunnel and black hole I was in and started making progress towards healing.

But now, I am hitting another wall, and existential questions trigger me again: The latest one I came up with in my internal discussion is whether this (40-50s) or my past decade (30-40s) was/will be the "best" in my life.

In my 30s, I spent some 5 years struggling, and was emotionally unstable, made some kindish mistakes in my professional life, and burnt bridges. But I was full of energy to grind, despite the struggles, and fought back.

I still have energy, but it feels like I am starting to lose my "edge" in comparison to my past decade. I feel wiser and more stable now.

What's your take? Curious to read other people's thoughts on this.