Is it possible to be too much of a jerk and push women away?

Allferik · 2015-12-03T15:43:45+00:00

There's a balance. More so it's you being a jerk, but you gotta stabilize and throw a random curveball at times and say/do something nice. Again, CURVEBALL. This doesn't mean do it often.

fnordsnord · 2015-12-03T15:47:44+00:00

Of course it is. Too much of ANYTHING is a bad thing. Two helpings of cornbread dressing and gravy on Thanksgiving? Good thing. Two POUNDS of it? BAD thing.

Woman are attracted to power/strength/independence. "Jerk" says to her that you have options and aren't needy. But you can easily transcend "jerk" and wander into "flaming asshole" territory.

Yes - refusal to text at all and giving NO comfort tests will run plates off.

But remember that we call 'em "plates" because eventually they all fall. You might want to dial the jerkicity back a LITTLE. But eventually ALL plates will want commitment, and you're going to have to let them go. If you NEVER get to this point, you're probably over-playing it.

rurpe · 2015-12-03T20:52:56+00:00

Being an asshole doesn't make you alpha, it just makes you an asshole.

NickCiufi · 2015-12-03T19:24:37+00:00

I think the answer to this question lies in knowing the balance between shit tests and comfort tests. More often than not, you have to be a jerk to pass a shit test. However, if all you're doing is being a jerk, you're probably failing comfort tests left and right, and branch swings are inevitable. If you're trying to keep the hopper going, you really have to tiptoe the line between "jerk" and "I might care about you someday".

sadnesspickle · 2015-12-03T20:09:17+00:00

Yes, and it is easier than you think to push us away. A lot of the tactics being advised here are actually a great way to drive away the women you want and to attract troubled and unstable women that are often complained about here -- if you want a quick lay/hook up then whatever, but if you're looking for multiple encounters, then it's a bad idea.

You sound like you've got a lot of problems, so maybe chill out a bit or hold off on meeting women until you grow up a bit.

Nobody wants to be around someone who comes off like they sulk, mope, and don't care that you're around. There's a huge difference between playing it cool, and being immature.

tinagetsomeham · 2015-12-03T15:42:47+00:00

Yes, women know you only want sex. You could spare the care and get a call girl. Probably cheaper than 5 rounds of drinks to get maybe laid.

KnG_Kong · 2015-12-04T02:12:51+00:00

Never go full Trump. Haven't you read anything?

Title	Is it possible to be too much of a jerk and push women away?
Author	htownboxing
Upvotes	3
Comments	12
Date	December 3, 2015 3:15 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3vadfe/is_it_possible_to_be_too_much_of_a_jerk_and_push/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/is-it-possible-to-be-too-much-of-a-jerk-and-push.157326 https://theredarchive.com/post/157326

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