High Attraction vs Depths of the Friend Zone

OpinionThink481 · 2026-02-21T01:41:48+00:00

Go out with, her make her feel good, flirt with her, start getting intimate, kiss, and hookup with her.

What she says she wants can change in the heat of the moment if you suddenly turn her on during the hangout, and get her in the mood.

It’s not your job to act according to her script, you base your actions on what you want, her only job is to either allow or stop your moves only in the moment that you are initiating them in person during the hangout.

It’s not about pre planning, it’s about spontaneity.

hunterpua · 2026-02-21T04:10:45+00:00

How do you discern being deep in the friendzone from a situation where a woman is actually attracted but is unavailable right now for some reason or other - whether they just got out of a relationship, are going through something heavy, are traveling a lot in the next 6 months, or something else?

How do you keep the ball moving forward without stepping on her stated boundaries?

This is just the same as when women say "no hookups" on dating apps. Maybe they mean it, maybe they don't. Maybe they will make an exception for you.

The way to tell the difference is by simply escalating.

If your idea of escalating is simply going for a kiss and you think that's too risky then learn to escalate in smaller increments. There's way more to escalation than jumping from zero to kissing.

In the second case, how do you avoid falling into the friendzone and stay relevant as a sexual option in an ongoing social circle dynamic?

If she says she just wants to be friends then actually become her friend...but treat her like a male friend.

That means if you talk to your male friends about the girls you're messing around with, you speak as openly about that to her as well.

If you blatantly check out or lust over women in front of your male friends, do that with her too. Be as descriptive as you would with your male friends as well.

Do that in person but also with pictures of girls, just like you do with your male friends.

If there are favors you wouldn't just do for your male friends outside of very specific circumstances then don't do that for her either.

For example, I had a friend who was a girl's designated cat feeder whenever she went on a trip but you could never in a million years get him to do that for a guy.

And no, he wasn't the only one she could ask. She didn't even explain much, she just asked nicely.

So if she asks you for a favor, look at it through the lens of talking to a dude.

And finally, if your buddy is changing or you're at the pool or something and he takes off his shirt, even his bottoms and you don't react at all, do the same for her.

Don't look away. Don't look at her like she's hot. Don't acknowledge it at all, just like you do with your male friends.

Contrary to popular belief, she doesn't need to know you're interested in her, just that you are in fact interested in women, and you being a horn dog in front of her like you are with dudes is more than enough to establish that.

Your attraction for her has nothing to do with her attraction for you. Women lust over men who don't even know they exist all the time and I know you lust over women who have no idea you exist.

Attraction doesn't have to be perceived as mutual to exist.

I had a friend I reconnected with from high school who I treated like this for 3 years. She has literally seen risque photos of me with other girls in bed and really nasty screenshots or screenshots of girls pouring out their desire for me and she has seen me pick up, even get introduced to girls I picked up only minutes prior, a handful of times.

And then one time, when we were both back in our hometown, she picked me up in her car, took me to a movie and dinner, with her paying for everything, and then drove me home and all I did was invite her up so we would end up having sex.

She didn't do all that stuff in the beginning because she just wanted me so much, she just thought of it as her just hanging out with a friend, but the sexual undertone was always there because of the way I acted with her, so when I invited her up, she just couldn't resist.

I didn't plan anything that led to us having sex. She was even the one who hit me up to go see a movie. If I was more proactive I could have had sex with her in 3 weeks rather than 3 years. I literally just chose to settle into treating her like a male friend and would even stop contacting her for months at a time. I only took advantage of an opportunity that was too good to pass up.

So there's even some extra perks to treating your female friends like this.

She's still my friend now, around 10 years later. I even got to meet her husband and kid.

Back2theCouture · 2026-02-21T04:34:10+00:00

where a woman is actually attracted but not available…

Oh well who’s gonna tell him?

If she’s actually attracted she’d make herself available. Believe me, if you’re hungry you’re gonna eat. Same principle.

One could say “oh I don’t feel like dating” or “I just had a bad breakup.” Well she’s not (that) hungry then.

People can say a lot of excuses, but pay more attention to their action. If words don’t match with the action, believe in the latter.

Matter_Still · 2026-02-21T10:01:32+00:00

You avoid getting into the mythical "friendzone" by denying it with the same vigor a rational person would deny the existence of Dante's seven circles of hell. The "friendzone" is nothing more than an abstraction created in a sitcom to describe a situation in which one person has romantic feelings for another who doesn't reciprocate...yet. In every case where I refused to frame that state as an evil, it proved to be fluid.

I have yet to hear from any of its detractors mention of three of its benefits: first, it allowed me to say things to a girl that the PUA crowd would find abhorrent. "Are you kidding? HE dumped YOU. He must be blind. And terminally stupid. You're gorgeous, smart, funny, and, My God, those legs! You have no idea how many guys would sell a kidney to be in his place."

The other. Touching --some call it, "escalation--is so easy and natural. "What's wrong?" "Oh, I think I pulled a muscle in my neck." "Where?" "Near the collarbone. There." "Right there" "Yeah. Ouch!" "Sorry. Better? "Ummm. Yeah."

And, then, there's company--companionship:

Me: "What's going on?"

Friend. "Oh, nothing. This guy i was supposed to go out with got called in to work."

Me. "Hey. I was going to see "Castaway". I got comps. Want to go?"

Friend. "What's it about?"

Me. "It's Tom Hanks as a sort of FedEx Robinson Crusoe?"

Friend. "Sure. Do we have time to get something to eat?"

Me: "No problem."

A caveat: you can't use friendship as misdirection. You have got to accept the invitation knowing you can't win them all and that things could change. If you can pull that off, it's a fair chance you'll see the fear and loathing of the "friendzone" is nonsense.

Title	High Attraction vs Depths of the Friend Zone
Author	have-a-blast88
Upvotes	15
Comments	5
Date	February 21, 2026 12:04 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rac01k/high_attraction_vs_depths_of_the_friend_zone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/high-attraction-vs-depths-of-the-friend-zone.1573909 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573909

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