Question for dads with long-distance commutes

Plastic_Efficiency35 · 2026-03-01T13:03:55+00:00

Sorry bro. That totally sucks- big time. One day, you are the father,family man- and bam, now you have to struggle just to see your own kids!

Divorce sucks. I was in the same position you are in now. Built a great nest. Everything was positioned strategically and ……went to “hero to zero”$$$.

I lived in my car(long story) for a month. And then,moved into a basement. Struggled for over a year until divorce was finally settled.

During the separation,X constantly used my daughter against me. Multiple PFAS…..which all were dismissed by the judge.

My advice- do what you have to do for your kids. Have a plan. If it means sacrificing everything to be close to your children. They need their father. Depending on their ages- it’s imperative that you are there to guide them.

Everything requires sacrifices.
Plan wisely, what is important to you.

Wish you well,bro. Life is hard. Do what’s best for them and for you.

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-02-28T20:22:04+00:00

Financially I was wiped out after my divorce too. Took me about three months but I changed jobs so I had the flexibility to do drop offs/pick ups. Within five years, I was making 50% more income because of the job change. Divorce is a hell of a motivator to push yourself to make more money.

Here's the reality: 99% of the time you ever spend with your children is before they graduate high school. Once they're in college or employed full-time, you'll be lucky to see them a week a year. There's no making up time later. It's now or never.

You cannot be an effective parent when you live in another state. You can't take your kids to doctor appointments. You can't attend parent-teacher meetings. You won't be there to celebrate sports victories. You won't be there for your kids first romantic crush, and comfort their inevitable heartbreak. You won't be there to help them deal with day-to-day teenage peer pressure. You won't be there for their prom. Good luck having those long walk conversations where you find out what your kids believe in and you can share with them likewise. You're going to be a stranger to them.

I'm eight years past my divorce and have 50% parenting time. My kids are 19 and 15. My oldest is attending online college, has a full-time job and has a girlfriend. I'm lucky to have dinner with him one night a week, and he stays with me every night his brother is here. It won't be long before my youngest is done with high school and starts his life. With both of them, I've been able to establish a relationship that can weather any storm and it will last through their adulthood. I don't know about you, but nothing matters more to me than that.

IrresponsibleInsect · 2026-02-28T07:21:44+00:00

I wish we would label the visitation by days per month. You're getting 2.5 days 3x a month, which is around 8 out of 31 days a month. Fucking brutal man. I'm sorry.

Title	Question for dads with long-distance commutes
Author	008muse
Upvotes	5
Comments	7
Date	February 28, 2026 5:30 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rgu9i6/question_for_dads_with_longdistance_commutes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/question-for-dads-with-long-distance-commutes.1574415 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574415

Comments