I have a bad habit of building the confidence of a low self esteem girl. She will then have confidence n find someone else. What am i supposed to do instead?

disarm · 2026-04-07T02:47:11+00:00

By building low self esteem do you mean you're hunting land whales for trophies?

Western-Month-3877 · 2026-04-07T11:36:20+00:00

That reminds me of a scene in the old Bernie Mac show where Jordan his nephew told him that he has a gf now. He showed up in his school and saw his interaction with her. He was like “he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He is the girlfriend!”

Yeah keep nurturing and “breastfeeding” them, congrats you’ve done a girlfriend’s role successfully. No wonder they leave you and find a guy who can fill in the boyfriend role.

Doki_Doki_Doki · 2026-04-07T06:04:58+00:00

stop trying to change them. focus on setting clear boundaries from the start. if you want friendship, be upfront about it. don't expect something from boosting their confidence. your intentions need clarity, not just actions.

Foreign_Stranger_973 · 2026-04-07T12:43:34+00:00

Wie wär’s mit ner Runde schattenarbeit? Dann ziehst du gleich ganz andere stereotypen an👌

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-07T14:00:58+00:00

No, you are not supposed to do anything in particular, and that includes building the confidence of a low self-esteem girl as if it's some type of job. You can choose freely to do that simply if you feel good doing that, not because she has to then give you a romantic relationship or something in return for your voluntary effort.

If your job is to get laid or get a girlfriend then sorry but this is not about doing a transaction, it's not "i build your confidence, or i do these efforts or sacrifices for you, and you pay me with your romantic feelings or at the very least with casual sex"...

If you expect that sorry, but that's not how dating works and no girl operates under that type of transactional mindset.

So if it's a waste of time to build the confidence is because in reality you were not actually helping her because you enjoy the act itself as a selfless thing, but rather because you were expecting payment, which is not something she ever agreed to in the first place, because she never told you "i will be your girlfriend or sleep with you guaranteed, if you build my confidence" so she is not responsible for any random hopes you might have created unilaterally in your head.

So no, if you want se or a relationship ask her out, and focus on connecting, flirting, having a good time, not on fixing her mental problems cuz that's the job of therapist. If you fix her mental problems, because you think it's the right thing to do then don't expect payment in the form of sex or romantic feelings because that's not how it works.

PositionStandard6089 · 2026-04-07T16:21:47+00:00

maybe go after a girl who is confident in the first place

Title	I have a bad habit of building the confidence of a low self esteem girl. She will then have confidence n find someone else. What am i supposed to do instead?
Author	Fun-Arm3161
Upvotes	1
Comments	6
Date	April 7, 2026 2:42 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1sejp5o/i_have_a_bad_habit_of_building_the_confidence_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-have-a-bad-habit-of-building-the-confidence-of-a.1577337 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577337

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