I want to learn how to flirt but being autistic is kind of getting in the way, can y’all try to explain it and maybe give example examples?

Orange_Codex · 2026-04-08T14:25:34+00:00

It's insinuation and subtext rather than overt.

For example (purely illustrative because this is highly situational), saying "Warn me if you get cold" instead of "Nice tits." Absurd over-compliments can be fun as well. Recently I called a woman 'exotic' because she's Cornish.

Jadog15 · 2026-04-08T21:33:55+00:00

Yeah I can see why that would be frustrating, especially if people around you are joking and flirting all the time and you can’t really tell what’s going on or how to join in.

The fact you’re actually trying to understand it instead of just avoiding it is a really good sign though, most people wouldn’t put in that effort.

Have you ever had a moment with a girl where it felt like there might be some kind of flirtatious vibe going on, but you weren’t sure what to do with it?

Tall_weirdo444 · 2026-04-09T09:40:58+00:00

Flirting is not about what you say.

It is about making her feel something she cannot immediately explain.

You do that through three things — noticing details others miss, saying something then pulling back, and treating the whole interaction like a game you are already winning.

The autism does not block any of that. It just means you need the framework made explicit rather than assuming you will pick it up naturally.

Most people never get the framework either. They just fake confidence until something accidentally works. You are already ahead because you are asking the right question.

I figured this out the hard way. Took me time and some situations that had no business working — and then did. Check my profile if you want to know more .

becomesharp · 2026-04-10T05:04:35+00:00

Copying and pasting a reply I wrote to another guy with the same question a few weeks ago:

-----
Depends on context but I define flirting as wittiness/humor + light/implied interest

There's a million ways to do this, which makes it difficult to learn. One of the best ways to get your feet wet is to learn what we call "flirting sound bites" which are funny situational comments that are predictably witty and/or flirty. Using them will give you some early wins and experience and will teach you delivery/execution and the patterns of WHY things are witty/funny/flirty.

Just be careful not to abuse them or turn them into a crutch. And do NOT force them into situations they weren't designed for. We've all seen that one kid who tries to force "that's what she said" when it doesn't make sense. Don't do that.

These are training wheels, designed to teach you the basics so that this skill becomes organic, not crutches that you rely on forever.

Also, a caveat: these are not 100% universally effective. Some of these sound bites will come off inappropriate, offensive, or even cringey in some situations and/or cultures. Like anything else, you will have to experiment to see what works and what doesn't in your specific contexts. I experienced this firsthand when something that worked hundreds of times in the states came off offensive in latin america in the early 2010s.

There's a very good chance that some of these sound bites will not age well in the future so if you're young gen z or alpha or younger and/or you're reading this comment in the future, you'll need to be aware of this possibility.

Sound Bites Examples

Her: She looks at your shoes, pants, belt, or anything below chin-level, like if she's reading what your shirt says
You say: Whoa whoa whoa lady, eyes are up here

Her: She trips on something
You say: "awww are you falling for me"

Her: She says something stupid like, "I've never heard of Uganda"
You say: "jesus, thank god youre cute"

Her: She says or does something kind of cute
You say: I think i'm falling in like with you

Her: Omg me too!
You: Dude we have so much in common. It's a problem. Because we'd fight ALL the time. And I'd win.

Her: She looks at you funny
You: Stop looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger

Her: She playfully hits you in the arm when you tease her
You: I'm filing for sexual harassment

Her: She says something cool or witty
You: You know… you’re growing on me… like a fungus kinda...

norwegiandoggo · 2026-04-08T17:57:13+00:00

Step 1: Google "indicators of romantic interest"

Step 2: Do some of those indicators to a woman you like.

That's flirting. It's that simple.

Anarchiztic · 2026-04-10T00:20:08+00:00

I’ll just say - the best flirting is humorous, so if you don’t have that baseline, start there. Watch comedians with female audiences (Glaser, Mulaney, Chappelle) and imitate the parts of their tone that suit your style without trying too hard to be cool (which means just don’t care whether the joke landed or not. If they laughed, let it go; if they didn’t, it doesn’t matter). Only once you get positive signs of intimacy (laughing, eye contact, light touch) should you start thinking about converting

Title	I want to learn how to flirt but being autistic is kind of getting in the way, can y’all try to explain it and maybe give example examples?
Author	Big_Pea3882
Upvotes	15
Comments	11
Date	April 8, 2026 1:30 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1sfswt4/i_want_to_learn_how_to_flirt_but_being_autistic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-want-to-learn-how-to-flirt-but-being-autistic-is.1577438 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577438

Comments