Advice on how to end it?

painfulletdown · 2026-05-01T09:43:42+00:00

Don't tell her - just get a lawyer and file. I tried to be nice and give her a heads up. Instead, she files first and claims that I abused her and wants everything. I found out later that it's called narcissistic injury, and also for appearance if they are religious. If you file first, then there's something wrong with her and you control the narrative. Sick stuff. Also found out that the church community will think lesser of them if they divorce, so claiming abuse is their way out of that.

life-is-short- · 2026-04-30T01:39:26+00:00

Nah. Play shadow game. Consult lawyer and file. In anyway she will become an enemy. So better to be prepared and play a step ahead.

exhausted_husband25 · 2026-04-30T01:07:33+00:00

I'm in the early stages of mine (about to file) so less experienced than others in this subreddit. However if I could change one thing, it would be to not tell her my decision was final until I was about to or had already filed papers. I'm not saying completely surprise her as I think that would be wrong, but if she knows it's coming I wouldn't broadcast details.

My STBX is actively trying to screw me over now that she knows I'm done. Which is ironic since she's been threatening divorce for years. She's taking all the cash out of the house (including my wallet), going on spending sprees, hiding physical items at her family's house, telling everyone lies about me, etc. I never would have thought she would be so vile.

If I could do it again, I'd file first and then tell her. Grab all the cash, take pictures for records, give her half, and document everything through text or other written communication. Same goes for joint checking, high value items, sentimental stuff, etc.

TimeCycle3000 · 2026-04-30T00:48:47+00:00

Honestly just tell her it’s over.

When I told my wife she kept interrupting me, as though not allowing me to say it didn’t make it true.

Finally, after I was able to say it she said “I don’t accept!”

Well. That don’t matter, honey. I’m done.

Title	Advice on how to end it?
Author	Pretty-Mammoth8281
Upvotes	5
Comments	4
Date	April 30, 2026 12:38 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1szgtex/advice_on_how_to_end_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/advice-on-how-to-end-it.1579224 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579224

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