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life-is-short- Archive

View 13 posts and 296 comments by life-is-short- on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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9

Man at this age they do not care about you unless they still depend on you. Just make yourself happy. Show them you are around and that is max you can do. What I learned over time is to be a bit more selfish. We spent everything we had to our family so now it is our time. They will come believe me when they need. Unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 03:47 AM
1

I have similar story and spend time with my step son. He congratulated me on my BD and Father’s Day and names me dad. The only what lawyer recommended spend time with witnesses and never do a sleepover. She will run out of money and will try to leverage that.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 02:15 AM
1

Pack everything. Documents each item with picture and send them over to her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 02:02 AM
3

In Texas it does not matter if she cheated. File TRO on her and divorce first. It does matter who did it first. Make sure any interaction you have is on video or at least audio recorded. In Texas you do not have to notify her about recording. Do not do any sexual or any other physical interaction with her. It will immediately become a case of abuse. DM me if required. I divorced in Texas few years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/26 01:43 PM
19

Gray rock. Do your business. File and move slowly. Control anger as she will use it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 11:59 PM
2

You are doing right. Your mind is clear. Good for you and good luck my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 04:37 PM
1

There are official appraisals some time they do inspection job as well.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 01:14 PM
3

Nah. Play shadow game. Consult lawyer and file. In anyway she will become an enemy. So better to be prepared and play a step ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 01:39 AM
7

And she agin will take half of it 😂
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 01:37 AM
1

Honestly I do not respect people who betray their significant other. IMHO. Learn it and pray for your future.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 06:25 AM
1

Tell her that and say you need some time to process it with no contact.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 04:16 PM
7

There is no friendship between two opposite genders. Period.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 01:42 AM
2

Make sure you record her and also recommend to do TRO so she can’t do it on you first.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 08:19 PM
1

So you initiated it. What was the reason? Obviously she wants you back and trying to find anything that could help. I would recommend to talk. Just leaving without discussing hurts. Unless she did something you can’t tolerate. Even so I would talk to her.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 07:05 PM
2

It very depends on the stage you are in. Did you agree on divorce, did you file, do you have kids, etc. I would not recommend to do this. It could be many different reasons starting from simple she really need your help to accusing you in domestic violence. There is a good book Not a Good Guy Anymore. Recommend to read it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 05:00 PM
1

Having 100% going to ex wife including custody and protecting order against him with debt? Unrealistic even with bias when there is no clear evidence of something. Judges are not stupid either to have their future under risk because of usual divorce. Story missing something and it is not possible to recommend anything without exact details. If all would be like that with nothing behind I would go local news. They love such stories.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 02:17 AM
8

Just file for a divorce. Longer you wait more you lose.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 01:09 AM
1

Not sure if you tell a full story. I am in Texas and it is 50/50 split no fault unless something unusual happens. Also they would not take just her word that you beat her up it should be at minimum a witness or evidence or police report. My tried to do the same but it is her word against mine.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 09:38 PM
2

Trust your gut. You are young so do not waste your time. Think on what she brings to the table and what comes from you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 01:41 PM
5

In addition to what people say with your lawyer file a TRO so you are the first and protected from her possible accusations.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 09:17 PM
1

If it is 2.5 years you disclose finances only for this period. Unless you need to prove something was premarital.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 01:01 PM
1

My ex took everything from the house. It was like sold condition.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 10:35 PM
1

Let me explain why. I had a female lawyer and she was good. She said during divorce your ex will try to spend as much as she can on her cards and you have to do the same. As at the end it will be 50/50. Guess what my ex came out with total negative in her credit cards. If I would’t do the same I would have to pay it off. So be negative as much as you can.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:42 AM
1

Oh no. Do not pay debt.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:37 AM
10

I was step father from 2 yo until 12 yo. So he names me as father. And ex is happy to let him go to me to have free time for her stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 11:35 PM
3

Funny. After divorce in a year I was able to get boat, X5M and now want get another sport car. Apart from watches that I always dreamed about. And more to go 🙂
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 04:22 AM
1

I had 8 years no alimony in Texas until 10.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 04:18 AM
0

Be careful with that advice. Not sure about Canada but in USTexas it is a felony on both sides.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 04:15 AM
2

It is tricky and works both ways. I was trying to buy my house out and did official appraisal but they wanted to use Tax assessment which is always higher than market. So we agreed on medium between two numbers. So go do your own appraisal and at least get middle ground.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 04:11 AM
2

Same here. I did and later was the same.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 03:11 AM
1

The only advantage you will have is if you want to keep house you give 50% of equity to her and do not need to refinance but just remove her name from deed.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 02:16 PM
2

On the time of QDRO. At least that how it worked on my side.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 11:43 AM
13

Thinking of it will not help. Go on. Find hobbies, talk to friends, go vacation by yourself …
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 12:17 AM
5

Nowhere
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 02:41 AM
3

Time will help. Find a hobby.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 05:05 PM
7

Law firms can feel the money. They will see all your financials and first calculate their profit. Trying to find someone fair is almost impossible unless it is your friend and even so he will try to get every penny. That is reality of no fair game in the business. 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 01:25 AM
4

Yes. She will be better in hiding it and a better actress in faking her love to you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 09:29 PM
13

I tried this route and she cheated again 🤷🏼‍♂️ sorry bro exit as early as you can. Later you do it you lose more
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 06:28 PM
-2

In US you will have to drop citizenship for other country.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 03:51 PM
2

$40k for process. Lost way more ((
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 12:19 AM
8

They will keep deny until the end and even with solid proof they will blame you. I had pictures she said fake, I got phone calls, phone location same fake. I got videos and it is my fault. So ignore it and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 02:54 PM
2

TX. Had two mediations. First one TRO $2K second final agreement $8K
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 10:29 PM
4

Paid $8k for single 8 hours mediation session
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 09:42 PM
1

What TRO states on spending
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 02:00 AM
1

Read your TRO. It must say what money can be spent on. And normal leaving expenses that is what should be there. If you do not pay mortgage you lose house. That could be treated as damage. Not paying the mortgage. If she started to work and stay same house she must contribute if she does not keep all the math to use it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 01:55 AM
2

ChatGPT. But use very good prompt on what you want. Then run it through lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 12:58 PM
2

I filed for a divorce and TRO. Not sure how much it different but setting ground rules is always good. Keep in mind rules are for both.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 12:46 PM
4

I would recommend different approach. She does appraisal and you independently. If her higher do not show yours. If lower then judge will take middle. all emotions will go away soon if you limit all conversations.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 02:44 AM
1

It worked out pretty well. It was making sure who moves out and when. What is the short term compensation for that. How to communicate. Agreement to not spend money on unnecessary stuff etc.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 04:21 PM
1

I did two mediations one to set rules on how we cooperate during process and second one to agree on financial part
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 01:53 PM
1

That is why you normally have a mediation to set ground rules.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 12:35 AM
2

We all have been there. You are in a very good time. Considering all of us
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 12:17 AM
2

You lose more staying there
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 12:14 AM
1

Depends. Normally in mediation you would block a time for different type of assets. For example 401k on my side was on date of QRDO. Everything else on date of mediation. If you go trial that will be up to judge I guess
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 10:29 PM
1

Just general scary of change. Think of it logically. Consult a lawyer and file. I was stupid enough to wait until more money, time and effort would be waisted.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 10:26 PM
1

Just posted. She did in a strange way. Guess more money required for living
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 04:46 AM
2

Lawyer is out. We done with divorce
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 04:29 AM
3

I understand that. But I was a father since his 2 yo. He treat me as father. It is fucking hart breaking. I do only public visits but he is supper upset with that (( He is 12 now
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 04:14 AM
1

How many years you have been married? Less than 10 no SS. Unless it was a charge related to abusive behavior. More than 10 years is minimal. Impute income is key to fight if more than 10 years. Everything else related to who put how much is irrelevant.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 03:03 AM
1

All RSU available in your account with vesting details. In TX vesting date regulate proportion to divide. When you have discover request you will have to provide all of it. If you work for a big company opposite lawyer is not stupid and will force you to disclose
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/24 02:23 AM
1

Simple statement from your financial institution will show this money. You need to be smart to calculate what goes where
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 05:47 AM
2

RSU are simple at least in Texas. Read a law it should have formula. I did it myself and no one argued.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 11:59 PM
3

50/50. You put your non-marital money into marital asset. Basically you gifted her 50% of equity.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 03:19 AM
1

You are in TX. Here they do not care about fault unless it is abuse. So protect from this and move on. 50/50 is what you get. Kids may bring complexity for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 04:18 AM
2

In your house she can plug you unplug. No consequences. I recommend hidden cameras just in case. Record all interactions better with video but voice is ok. There are bunch of devices that would not raise a concern. You need to protect yourself from abuse allegations. Everything else standard. Do mediation and submit to court.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 01:33 AM
1

Just sell it and split proceedings. Taking into account her financial level she will probably lose it via foreclosure due to inability to pay it off. Also during divorce you want to separate as much as possible. And in your case it is feasible to do. As my lawyer said she may want whatever comes to her head. Reality will be 50/50 on all. Make a house appraisal. Factor in closing cost and other expenses split in 50 and show her numbers. In current APR she would pay double of what you pay now.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 08:49 PM
1

It is not simply giving her house. If it is financed she will need to refinance it. Taking into account she is not working it is highly unlikely to get financing for her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 05:37 PM
3

Funny. My friends tried to help me going over divorce. We went to the disco. Last time I did it like 10 years ago. And guess what. I saw my ex with another guy 😀. I was happy as it proves to all friends who she is as we did not divorced yet. And all her rumors are fake 😎
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 08:52 PM
4

Not working in many states. Marriage is not necessary to f…k up here.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 12:18 AM
8

Tried and it did not work out. Cheater will cheat again. Nothing would change theirs mindset.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 08:21 PM
1

That is correct. She can’t factor 20% as distribution should be like to like.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 07:37 PM
1

It is tax free if goes to the similar account. But you can choose cash and 20% will be taken initially as it is considered as income and rest based of the tax report.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 06:46 PM
1

Debt is splitting 50/50 as any other asset disregard which name on it. Unless debt was created prior to marriage
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 08:24 PM
1

I did not get it. Are you divorced? Or in the process for 5 months. In first case you normally filing as single and she doesn’t need your w2. In a second case it depends on agreement you made. Better to file jointly to get best outcome and split either return or debt. Single is always higher.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 09:26 PM
1

Same. Actually in my meditation it was written that car insurance have to be transferred within 15 days after divorce is finalized
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 07:20 PM
1

In my divorce decree it is stated that only listed assets are divided. And if anything else hided/ not discovered will appear later then it is subject for a division So be careful as she may know about this and just demand more without getting your business into account to take it later. I intentionally listed out everything that she can’t come back on me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 06:02 PM
5

I am of a different opinion. Everything I have existed before we married and I am not going to give all of it just because we divorced. Just block her everywhere and done deal.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 12:43 AM
1

Any traditional country example where average US person can settle easily?
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 01:45 PM
6

Does not work. In first couple years she will be dedicated. But then poisoned by other new already divorced friends. As soon as she gets green card she will move with a good chunk of money.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 01:10 PM
4

It seems it is over at least for you. She will manipulate you with emotions until she will find a better landing zone. Now you need to find a lawyer but do not tell her!!! Be prepared with questions on expected outcome based on your assets, kids, length of marriage, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 12:43 PM
15

Sorry bro but I was the same. Tried twice with no success. Second time even took her out of nowhere with many problems and helped her and her son. But no appreciation, she just took everything she could and already with another dude. Most of them became instagram princesses and want to have endless honeymoon. I believe will end up in occasional dating and no real family anymore 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 12:35 PM
5

You know what. Take it. Make yourself drunk. Release your energy. Just do not make it outside. And next day become a better version of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 07:39 AM
2

First you got 50/50. So she can’t move away. Second, you need to work on your relationship with your child. Remind him on who you are and take every step to prove that.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 05:23 AM
2

Fight for your child. If you have 50/50 then you take it. She will manipulate your child but you will have to fight it back. Not easy but if it is your one you have to do it. And even if you lose you did all you can.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 04:28 AM
1

In my mediation we agreed she can take anything from the house except garage. Guess what anything in her mind was translated to everything. She took most of the stuff but I can rebuild. Normally it is related to furniture, electronics, house mess. She took even custom curtains. Not sure where she can use them. I believe she was guided by friends who now own some of it. 😃 The only thing I stopped her to take are door knobs and curtain rods as it was too crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 09:59 PM
2

You are not an idiot. You tried as anyone would do. But no one should have been doing that. I did it as well at almost same age. Take your lesson. Your kids will come back as my own. Do not make this mistake again.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 03:52 AM
1

Honestly. It should be a law in case of second marriage or due to infidelity in the previous marriage prenup is a must. And it has to be an open record.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 03:29 AM
5

Didn’t read all. Because of first couple sentences where it was second infidelity. Fuck. Drop it right away. There is no second or third. It is just mental requirement to try everything around.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 03:26 AM
2

In Texas we have a formula on how RSUs are divided. I guess CA has a similar one. In my case we dropped RSUs and I gave more in 401k
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 03:33 AM
6

You need DOTSA Deed of Trust for Secured Assumption. Where she will be liable for any non-payment, late payment, etc. basically protecting you from credit score impact and financial responsibility related to loan.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 12:55 PM
4

Man. My dog is my best friend. If I would observe him with someone I would be totally ruined. That is very similar to kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 04:50 AM
5

Gone
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 11:32 PM
3

Ok. Then you should be good with your plan. Assuming that evaluation of the house is reasonable.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 01:34 AM
1

Who is on loan
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 12:27 AM
2

Deed of Trust to Secure Assumptions. Basically you make sure her actions on this loan will not impact you. If you are only on deed and loan then it will be you selling her house. It is not like a simple transfer. She apply for loan at 6-7%, insurance etc pay closing cost and all of this.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 12:03 AM
1

If you think it is fair price for the house go for it. Make sure you will have DOTSA as she might be at risk. If you both on loan she need to either assume which is unlikely or refinance which is higher rate and closing cost. So you need to get out of credit score impact risk.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 11:40 PM
4

Didn’t read all but let me try to answer some as I had same dilemma. The only difference is that my stocks are part of public market. So if you sell stocks and cover your debt you will have no stocks and no debt so nothing to divide. But you will have tax to be paid by you. If you keep both you divide 50/50 stocks and debt and will have zero tax implications. Which what I did. The only catch you have is that your stocks are not publicly traded. So not sure how you can give her 50%. Which might b…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 09:18 PM
7

$35k still going. Keep in mind even if divorce is final it is not final.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 04:27 AM
1

Simple 44-25=19 debt. Half yours which is 9.5. Unless you offload this by other assets if want keep car and refinance. Or sell it and split debt. This considering loan was taken during marriage
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 02:18 AM
2

Definitely ask her to disclose as well. My ex unexplainable financial movements fully justified my cash outs with no question asked.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 11:43 PM
2

Family celebration time. You need to go through it once. Just find cool stuff to do but make sure you will not cross with her there like I did 😃.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 11:05 PM
71

Most of us are robbed. Worst ever contract I signed.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 12:41 AM
6

Infidelity
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 03:27 AM
1

Reinstall your PC first to make sure no one stalking you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 03:26 AM
7

Not sure what can be done but I would first consult another lawyer and second do a small claim on false allegations which should not be expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 03:25 AM
1

Who is on loan that is the main question. If both then better to sell. Unless she is stupid enough to assume this loan.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 04:23 AM
6

You are right. Kids at their above 18 should be responsible. They either respect you or go by their own way.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 04:21 AM
1

MSA is not binding. It just sets a date of agreement. And yes, I was more relaxed as I know what I owe. But when they started these small changes my bill goes up quickly. First, read Decree draft very carefully and compare to MSA. Come up with single email if something has been altered not in your favor. And when adjusted just push it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 09:15 PM
2

I was divorced in Texas. Had same story with signed MSA and then couple of months back and forth on a Decree itself. Mostly minor things but you still pay lawyers for that so lost around 5k more on post MSA stuff. Things like they want DOTSA even if she is not on loan for the house, or they deleted who pays COBRA, etc. keep in mind minor things could become real problem. So I read every new version carefully several times. And yes this is annoying that you can not copy past MSA which already cos…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 04:34 PM
4

Btw. My ex never produced everything we asked with no consequences. Also ask them the same paperwork and see what they will comeback with.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 12:47 PM
2

Simple. Give them what you have. Normally two years of bank statements and paychecks or other incomes including tax reports. If they need more they can request this via court. Court unlikely will request more than that unless there is a history behind. I did produced 8 years 401k but to make sure I keep non marital part with me. So this was for my benefit.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 12:45 PM
4

Enjoy your life even through divorce time. That what my lawyer said. Before mediation everything is equally distributed. So she pays 50% of your fun even if you know this is 100% your money.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 03:19 AM
15

Read my posts. I did this mistake to forgive. Guess what in a few years same story. But more to lose. Cheated once will do it again with 90% confidence.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 07:35 PM
14

It is funny as my ex was in full denial even when I show pictures of her with ap. She said it was photoshop 😂. Then video comes into play and she said in anyway it was my fault 🤦
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 12:30 AM
3

Choose wife which will generate more than you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 04:15 PM
4

Tell him your story at a beer time. Mention that next time you will make it more realistic with prenup etc. but keep in mind anything you recommend will be your fault and you may become an enemy for her if he will share So I would take my own battles
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 06:30 PM
1

Move on and do not look back.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 06:47 PM
9

I was stupid enough not to buy watch, ring and stuff like that. All her jewelry and designer stuff staid with her with no division.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 03:53 PM
12

Depending on state. In most states it is 50/5o for all assets, debt, custody. Depending on lengths of marriage you may be entitled for SS in addition to CS. Ignore everything she says as she will change her mind daily. Talk to lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 09:53 PM
1

Looks similar to my ex. She got green card money and moved on. 1. Do an appraisal of house as your marital part still can be calculated beginning of the marriage 2. Yes. There is online company I used to do assessment. But you need to provide all statements. Just search for QDRO. I paid $600. 3. Do not by default provide information for all assets that she do not know about. I was stupid and disclosed everything. But she never came back with all she had. 4. If no fault state then no. Unless you …
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 11:49 AM
4

BTW. Just a room for thoughts. My lawyer said that in Texas you may fall under marriage law by cohabiting. Even if you are divorce in the past you can end up unofficially married again. And reasons could be related to spend that is not part of previous decree and/or additional voluntary child support. Examples: you pay her insurance as a husband, claim tax together, rent hotel as couple (cause you may have better discounts), etc. so be careful in helping others unless these are your kids and par…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 09:59 PM
1

Then quit paying for it. She is an adult and should be able to care about herself
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 09:53 PM
7

In Texas after divorce ex should quit your insurance in 30 days
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 06:39 PM
1

In my case it is stipulated in decree that other party is responsible to prepare and submit QDRO request to my brokerage company with a specific $$$ amount on the mediation date + any profit or loss injected
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 04:55 PM
2

Not sure why 2 years? Are kids involved? If it is financial fight only go trial and it will be ruled to 50/50 unless you want to offset CS and/or SS.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 04:57 PM
2

Think of it different way. Are you ok to pay more in CS if you marry again other women considering your family income goes up? I assume no as your new wife has nothing to do with your children. Her only role would be to make it comfortable when they come. Same for your ex husband. He has nothing to do with your kids unless they are adopted. He do not even has any legal rights to them.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 09:44 PM
4

You can
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 05:50 PM
8

Sales assistant in boutique stores like Saks or Neaman Where all successful guys go
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 07:20 PM
19

Give him link to this sub
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 05:58 PM
1

Mine was $9000. But my lawyer is $800 an hour.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 05:49 AM
3

Never ever get your parents or other relatives be part of your family. Your family is your wife and kids until they leave a nest. Then you should stay away from their nest.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 04:02 AM
1

Just go to trial. It is expensive but may save you lots of money in a long run. Be well prepared for it and again check with lawyer what does she mean.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 03:22 AM
3

First try to get back to house. Second always meet lawyer in person. In 3 years she might got a good cash as well as 401K so fight for it as well as other assets. Alimony probably out of question depending on state. But temporary support could be if you did not left your place. Now you gave an evidence that you can live on your own. And dogs will be hard part. I was happy to keep my. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 03:19 AM
9

Ask her for details. Why she think it will be long. Then you can consult with other lawyer to confirm
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 03:12 AM
7

Btw. Do not think it will be amicable. She will be poisoned by her divorced friends and a lawyer who want big $$$$. So it will become a real problem.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 03:08 AM
5

Short version. Do not leave house. Record all interactions. Find a lawyer. File first. Collect all numbers. Get evidence of her accounts usually statements before TRO is in place. Maintain your regular payments. Create own accounts. Spend credit and cover only necessary payment. Be nice.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 03:04 AM
1

Then NO. She do not want to negotiate then you should not be as well if there is no requirement to do so.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 02:56 AM
1

First will she do this for you? Probably not. Second will she offer something to get this better deal? You probably can negotiate bigger portion of 401k stays with you or less CS. Third did she tried to ruin yourself through marriage and during divorce. Probably yes. Do you have already custody agreement and how your move influences kids. Weight, evaluate and make a decision Sorry moved to the main thread
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 02:55 AM
1

Such request may cause additional $$$$. I would say be ready with your numbers and worst and best case. Start to work and negotiate. Look at finals and consider TAX. For example your 401k dollar value is lower than cash for about 30%.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 09:36 PM
1

Ok. It is a bit late. But have premarital assessment ready including down payment , current value assessment, and division proposal. If you also have assets division 401k, cars, etc. same story if there is premarital value and current value. Search for my post about mediation I did recently.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 09:33 PM
1

Is this mediation or settlement in court? Is that about assets only?
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 06:53 PM
2

I think women start to build shitbook beginning from the dating time. I was really surprised on how she remembers small argument 5 years ago but does not Bahamas vacation 3 years ago 😃.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 04:38 PM
1

I agree. What I observed is that my ex was trying to look good in her friends eyes and family. Even taking into account her infidelity she still blames me. And only in private conversations tells me how she did cause all the issues to collect them and build my profile. Small argument - abuse. Saying we are not ready to purchasing something - financial control. You have to be home by midnight unless we go together- physical control. And many other things.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 02:59 PM
4

In US normally it does not matter where you married. In some cases even cohabitation is treated as a marriage. So he need to check his State Family code to find answers. But better talk to a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 02:15 PM
11

First in Texas even if you separated you still married and accumulate community property your and her debt, savings, 401k, cars, etc. You have two options 1. Hire private investigator who can run via phone company her physical address and will serve her with paper’s. 2. Citation by posting under Texas Family Code 6.409(d), states: "if the citation is for a suit in which a parent-child relationship does not exist, service by publication may be completed by posting the citation at the courthouse d…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 02:09 PM
3

My ex had such friend and she was the best friend. When I started to see some red flags I told my ex that I do not like her friend. Guess what she said that this is because I want to sleep with her friend 😃. Fast forward she can leave same life style by changing guys whenever she wants.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 12:22 AM
4

Just removed her name from joint account and did wire to hers
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 05:12 PM
4

Read my posts. Almost the same situation. No CS, no alimony. The only difference your one left on her behalf which seems she is good to support herself where my ex left as per TRO and I paid for two month quite a big number. Next step is to find a lawyer and be first. Then you drive a pace of divorce. Go straight to finance disclosure request and then schedule a mediation. If you are lucky it will be quick and just assets related division.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 05:44 PM
2

I am not paying anything. She will get more in 401k and had to sign off from deed. Loan was under my name so no refinance. I did an official appraisal of the house but they still have been using HCAD which is always higher. So we agreed on average of two. Hope I answered.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 12:51 AM
2

401K agreed on exact number on a date of final divorce decree. But all gains and losses would be factored in to the numbers. Basically all contributions after mediation date are non marital but if 401k goes down. Number I owe will go down as well. PM me for exact wording if required. Yes. I had premarital 401K, car and savings. 401K went over CPA so hard to argue, same for car. Premarital savings have been considered as property down payment. Not much an argument but leverage for that numbers ag…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 12:47 AM
3

Indeed. Not even cohabitating
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 12:42 AM
1

Most important is to not do any financial movement prior to mediation or court order. Now you have what you have so go check with lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 12:30 AM
3

I never cheated as it is against my let’s say rules. But she did on previous husbands and on me twice. Second one was last 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 04:03 AM
3

My thought was if she was broken and I helped her she will respect that. But most important part that I missed is was why she has been broken. When I researched it it was infidelity in last marriage. So here you go.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 03:46 AM
-2

First option if you love her and she loves you and you want to marry do a prenup and do not get any accounts on both names outlining in prenup those are separate. Also do not adopt child’s which is not necessary to care. Also make sure prenup says no alimony. Second option. Date do not do anything that could make it cohabitation. Things like insurance on your name for all, hotels, etc. third option. Run. Most preferred.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 03:20 AM
1

I do not have all information to answer but is better for him to check with lawyer. If she get 10k out of 401k it will be 10k less to split between his and her 401k. And more over it will be only 7k in cash at best.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 03:05 AM
3

My started to do the same. Kissing, hugging, etc. it will end quick as soon as she steps in her new life. I did all house keeping and cooking. So she is now trying to catch up. Guess what, son says I want daddy’s food 😃. Stay tune this does not last long.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 02:51 AM
3

That what I was scary about but finally mediated. Will post outcome later. No recommendations here as it went over for you. What I did is to convince mediator to pass a message that litigation will cost $$$$$$$. Not sure if he did but they agreed. I was ready to go trial and seems they got it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 02:48 AM
1

401k is not joint account and normally designated to someone. If that the case she is free to do whatever she want unless it is TRO in place. If they have restriction order then say no as she can use credit cards otherwise it seems she already in a deep debt. Then she need to find a cheaper option and cooperate during mediation
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 02:44 AM
9

In my case in Texas it does not matter under which name credit or debit cards are under. It is all marital.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 08:13 PM
1

If you both on mortgage then it will be better to sell. As far as I understood in Texas you can only refinance which will put you under over 6% rate. Call your mortgage company and ask the question.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 05:01 PM
1

Do you guys think I do not know rules? My question is why it is the f… that way?
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 12:10 AM
5

Can you hire an attorney in India and get divorced remotely there? That will be cheaper for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 06:39 PM
5

Also if it is still under mortgage and you both listed there refinance will be required to keep house. With current rates you may better sell it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 10:06 PM
2

Lower up. Draft TRO the way that she can’t communicate these pictures to your ex girls. And if she will even without TRO she might get in trouble. Do not delete pictures as it could be an evidence that you have not been cheating by looking in time stamp.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 07:45 PM
1

Tell her good luck in refinancing. If she does not work and considering current rates it is high probability to be sold or you can buyout
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 04:01 PM
2

I am in similar situation. One of the interesting things is that lawyers tell me I must show all accounts where she does not. So I can’t get it. Was your division 50/50?
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 04:33 PM
3

How you split assets if she did not provide any information
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 02:13 PM
1

How it does? If she is on title or not you split equity. But on the mortgage if her name not there you do not have to refinance.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 03:03 AM
3

I am in the same situation. I provided everything and she nothing. Going to push my lawyer a bit next week. As they always say you must but I do not see any “must” from other side
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 01:45 AM
2

Title does not matter. Who is on mortgage? If it is only you then you are lucky. If both and you want yo keep it you screwed with current rates. Easier to sell and split
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 06:51 PM
9

Welcome to the group. First. Find a lawyer. Depending on your state rules might be different. In most states it is 50/50. If no kids then it is less painful. Second. Start to build your premarital assets list. Stocks, retirement account, savings, etc. some of them easy to prove and divide some not. You need all statements up to the day of marriage to prove something. Third. Start to build your marital assets. Same as above including debt. Fourth. Hand it over to your lawyer and ask what would be…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 05:30 PM
1

I did update post with formula who is interested. I am surprised that all law firms saying it is complicated and you need consulting. Simple formula solves this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 09:46 PM
1

Understood. It will not be considered as a primary argument. Just a leverage during mediation and if it goes trial judge will see who was at fault to be able to build a right picture. I am quite sure she will use abuse, mean, etc words.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 06:22 PM
1

She moved out 3 years ago and then decided to move back and her AP send me pictures. I forgiven her. And now it seems the same story. At least have sexting messages. As far as I know it is still can be uncontested but with reimbursement claims. I want to use it as a leverage to get a fair deal.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 04:54 PM
0

Rich people leave in debt that is how they avoid tax as well as nice outcome during divorce imho.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 03:42 PM
1

Record record record. It is common property and only court or an TRO can get you out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 03:32 AM
1

I was in the same boat and lawyer said it will be 50/50 on marital assets. What you need to do is to be ready for the worse. 1. Check what was the paid off on house before marriage. You will deduct it from current equity as a premarital asset. 2. Since you do not have joint accounts get all statements from the bank begging from marriage date. This might be also premarital asset deducted from current accounts value 3. Do the same with 401k or any other pension plans. 4. Do the same with investmen…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 02:46 AM
3

I did the same. So you are not the only one. Just finalize a divorce and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 12:10 PM
6

In my case it was a 3rd marriage for my ex and all brakes due to infidelity. I even know her AP from last marriage. I forgive her once but it seems every 3 years or so she has a need to find another person. But at the same time she blamed all of us for that and reasons are no enough flowers, attention, respect, restaurants, etc. Basically some people want to leave in endless honeymoon first loving environment as a princess. Where family is a work as well and takes two people to contribute. Addit…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 03:23 PM
2

Just saying yes we divorced but then leave for 5 years as a cohabiting partners. And her proof will be bills she paid, insurance policy if she takes you pictures and others stuff. Do not underestimate them. Talk to lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 06:50 PM
1

Think of it this way. She will stay with you for 4 -5 years then move to Texas and in 6 months file for a divorce in Texas. I am not a lawyer but would recommend to think long term. Also your state may adopt this during that time.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 05:30 PM
2

You are cohabiting, so be careful with that as in some states it is equal to marriage. Do not represent yourself in any manner as a couple. No joint tax return, joint insurance, etc. and you need a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 03:57 PM
10

Just do not relax. Winning a battle is not winning a war. Stay strong and mindful. Wish you all the best.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 04:04 AM
13

Be ready for her feedback. DV and stuff like that. Record record record
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 03:23 AM
7

I do not believe in that but My ex told me that every time she had an affair I was super nervous and under panic. At that time I was not sure why I behave that way and was thinking it is just work related stress. Trust your feelings
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 08:15 PM
7

F that.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 01:31 PM
3

Exactly same story as I had with one exception. I did a mistake and forgive her. Guess what after 3 years when things became nice and smooth she did it again.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 10:08 PM
1

The best is to consult with CPA. No one will give you a firm answer. Money flaw may become complicated. Depends where they landed how they have been used etc. another example I had $20k on my savings before marriage and I made this account joint after marriage. Since then whatever lowest savings value was there it is mine. Let’s say it was not lower than $5k then I can take out $5k. If it was going up all the time then I would be able to take $20k out. But you need evidence like monthly statemen…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 03:28 PM
1

That will not be counted. Think of it as a voluntary help to your neighbor unless you have a contract. In my example it would be if my wife replaced all tires before marriage. No one will give a f….
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 03:09 PM
1

My did the same. She even left new underwear and dress on coach after date that I can see it. It hurts but think of her as a roommate. And do not engage into arguments.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 02:55 PM
1

Let me give you example not sure if that helps. I bought a new car before marriage and then during marriage I traded it in to another car. Current market value of second car is exactly the same as my trade in value. This assets considered premarital and is not divided.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 02:48 PM
1

My one was able to negotiate TRO the way that my ex left house, I still pay all expenses and pay temporarily spousal support for 4 months from our common savings. Not sure if that is good or bad but I am in the house by myself.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 02:42 PM
14

More you wait more you owe. 401k, investments, savings. If she moved over she has someone else. Just file and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 10:53 PM
2

Man you are not that old as most of us. Drop it and start new life.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 03:57 AM
1

If they both on mortgage I assume it was purchased during marriage
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 03:53 AM
8

Depending on the state. In most cases it is 50/50 equity which means she need to buy out his 50%. She also need to think about mortgage that will have to be changed to her name and terms. Depending on her income she might not be able to afford it. In short whatever she says is usually far from reality. Consult a lawyer to get better picture.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 08:18 PM
1

I had the same my friend. It is hard but you need to deal with it. First find a lawyer and file for a divorce. Do not tell her that you have an evidence. Secure evidence with your lawyer. Use it against her to get best outcome
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 03:21 PM
2

Keep more debt and not equity during divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 12:17 PM
2

General recommendation is not to invest during a divorce. If you are under “contract” aka marriage it is most probably will be a community property. Create dept not a profit during a divorce
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 02:38 AM
1

There is no difference with having a sex with any other person unless you have a TRO. Risk are always the same. Someone can claim abuse, rape, violence, etc. you do not have to be married for that. If you really want to have a sex with your ex, and I fully understand that, just make a video where you both agree.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 02:24 AM
1

But how much leverage I can get. Honestly I do not need to prove anything her partner send me all the evidence and did it for me. She also admitted.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 03:56 AM
8

It is hard I know
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 02:49 AM
1

Sure no. Her number is out of the air. I already have fair number even considering her wrong doing. But you know they are dumb and lawyers as well as single girlfriends motivate her. No one wants her to win. Some want money some close broken friend.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 02:48 AM
1

She is financially uneducated. So I have to prove something somehow. I think 401K is out of question. I am more concerned about stocks. Her initial response was I want cash a lot of cash to leave 2 years with no problem
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 02:11 AM
1

So what was your experience. I have bullet proof adultery from her side but it was some time ago and I as a stupid guy forgave her. I think she will use some sort of abuse stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 02:08 AM
0

TX is not as far as I know. You can leverage adultery cost but question was not about that.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 01:30 AM
4

I disagree. It is negotiation process. As example I can transfer from my HSA to her one exact 50% but if she want me to give her cash it will not be exact same number as it is before tax money. So I can keep my HSA as is and give her cash considering tax value.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 01:29 AM
19

Women are not logical. So whatever she told you today might be changed tomorrow. So be careful. Especially if she has divorced friends.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 07:23 PM
4

It is not a fraud. You would better secure that money yourself prior to announcement. At meditation both will have to disclose your financial assets and all will be splitted. You need a lawyer now
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 06:21 PM
2

I was thinking that everyone deserves a second chance. We are not perfect but watching YouTube and connecting dots I understand that modern world is not for marriage at least western part of it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 11:17 PM
2

I did. I found out she was cheating on me but you know love and her promises make it back. And now 3 years later we back to the story. If I would do this back that time I would not lose that much as now and time. Never get back. Now I will treat them as a gambling machines. Spend $100 here if do not like swap a machine spend another $150. But will never be addicted.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 11:04 PM
2

I have similar situation. As people rightly said you will lose kids unless you will have in person interaction. Plan your and their free time to be able to visit each other.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 01:05 PM
5

You know what my told me I was a good father for my step-child and she thanks me for giving her an opportunity to build a foundation to leave me 😃. So I would prefer her to say nothing than to feel I was used.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 01:01 PM
3

My lawyer (female) said women never leave on a spot. They always plan and it can go from 6 month up to 5 years in planning as per her experience.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 12:44 PM
9

Princess syndrome. They want happiness and honeymoon all the time. They do not see family as a job.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 12:34 PM
2

You will have to divorce in a country of residence especially if you married there. So local rules will be applied. I have a friend who had an opposite situation. He married outside of US but moved with wife in here and during divorce not home country but US rules applied. He even still married as per home country rules.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 04:20 PM
7

You are not the only fool in the world. Gather evidence. Get a lawyer appointment and see what would be an outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 01:37 PM
2

Simple he was not up to her level so better to get back to husband. But he did a revenge move and send me pics over.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 07:59 PM
7

For me it is more like a revenge. Anyway I do not know what I would do. But my ex was reported to me by her affair when she tried to leave him. So at least I had a ground for a divorce. So may be agree but do not disclose your identity
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 05:24 PM
2

Personally I would not engage in that. What would you achieve? What is your goal in that move?
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 04:50 PM
2

Unless she want to buy out equity of the house
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 04:45 PM
1

That what I was thinking. I also think she is making some stories about abuse and DV as this could potentially give her a leverage for alimony. Now she is telling that is going to get everything from me including a house 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 11:45 PM
2

Nothing yet. I just told her over email.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 11:43 PM
1

Btw. How long it takes to close it. Any recommendations please PM
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 08:48 PM
2

And Potential based out of what?
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 08:39 PM
8

File now with your attorney. More you wait more equity/assets is accumulated and more evidence she can collect for whichever game she wants to play.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 07:40 PM
4

I do not know what was behind it. I am making 5x more than her. So her lawyer might decided it would be best for her to quit to get such support. I am just not sure if that is legally ok to trick that way system. Child is not in question here I believe.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 06:00 PM
5

Not a solution. I will still have to pay all bills.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 05:57 PM
3

Definitely not Houston. All in cars and no way to meet someone in person.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 08:30 PM
5

List is way longer
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 02:28 AM
9

Why I hate whole this system 🤢
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 10:05 PM
2

Divorce takes time. Your son will be 18 by that time. Also in some states you will have to pay CS while he is in college
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 08:49 PM
19

Or it could be that she is trying to make up something. Do not engage in sex or even hugging each other. She can claim DV.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 08:47 PM
1

I am in Texas and trying to do 50/50. But her lawyer is making stuff with her to make it uneven. There is always a chance if they convince judge they can get more than 50. It is better for your attorney to lead a way here they know all of this tricks and can help you to be ready.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 11:24 PM
1

Cut it over and go on
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 01:25 PM
1

Get a lawyer. He will answer all your questions.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 12:17 AM
2

Find something that would get your attention out of this shit
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 10:35 PM
5

That is not the worst thing that could happen to any of us. Think of cancer, losing baby, etc. there are many more bad things people suffering from. So I always tell my self “thanks God you took money from me and nothing else”
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 11:40 PM
9

The biggest mistake we do as men’s is to trust our ex and believe in their good faith. In your situation your lawyer is a best bet.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 11:35 PM
5

Man you are only 30. Find a new hobby something that can bring new friends like wakeboarding, snowboarding, golf, surf, etc. you have long life ahead of you. Do not waste it for that. Just jump into something new and it will handle your pain.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 11:01 PM
2

You need to make a decision. From your post it is not clear. If you are not attracted by her then divorce
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 04:43 PM
4

Block her number and go forward
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 02:26 PM
5

May be you need to try sex toys with her. Try to change environment see if that would change anyhow her interest. If not then the better way is to divorce rather than to be in open marriage imho.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 09:20 PM
3

Why to wait for her to file? Do it with your lawyer now. Keep in mind lawyer will charge for every interaction and action. Every email, call, in person meeting will come at cost. So try to minimize your involvement, be prepared and provide comprehensive list of required information.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 07:01 PM
9

I tried to forgive once and that happens again. Does not mean you will have it as well. But people say who cheated once will probably do this again. It is like animal tasting a real blood. So it is you choice but I would step out of this relationship just to keep respect to yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 04:58 AM
1

I heard a story actually from my ex 😂 that one of her friends was always in debt and he had been 4 times married and gave nothing back during a divorce. Not sure if that answers your question though.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 10:32 PM
17

Lawyer up immediately
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 10:29 PM
2

I was thinking, did I post something when was asleep? Exactly my story. And now while in divorce she act with no apology. But actually can go somewhere lunch time for couple hours then come back and take shower. It is insane, it is painful but you need to stay strong No real advise as I have the same issue and not sure what to do 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 08:40 PM
3

Let me give you an example and I would recommend to consult with a lawyer not FAQ. I had a car prior to marriage during marriage I traded in this car for a new one. As per my lawyer triad-in value is not marital asset. And since my new car is the same value now it is out of division. This is how complex it could be.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 02:26 PM
2

You have tricky situation. House was purchased prior marriage which means down payment she made could be non marital asset. You need to talk to a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 01:54 PM
1

There is another thing to that. There is a risk to be accused for something you never did. So in general you have to step away. Otherwise you will be under risk.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 12:45 AM
7

Biggest mistake imho is to letting parents in your life. They are not your family anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 04:38 PM
4

And do prenup before LTR
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 04:23 PM
6

From what I heard judge may override this if will see it is not fair
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 02:29 PM
24

I would start moving money away now. Find your retirement in a place like Indonesia. Leave your live in a front of the ocean and be done with that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 12:57 AM
3

That is my fear. My step son so scary of mom so he will do whatever she wants. So I keep all chats and all proof I am not doing wrong. I just not sure how to say him NO when he ask me to play basketball or soccer. He has no clue about all this shit she makes and danger I am in.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 12:55 AM
1

Question is a bit different. What to do when that happens? I love my step shield and treat him as my own. And you right it is doubles the pain.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 12:50 AM
3

Have same problem was raising since 3 yo and he does call me Dad. But I am not sure how this will be handled further. And she still uses me as a babysitter. Thankfully we do not have children in marriage. Biggest fear I have is that now on he will have bad picture of family and what true Dad should looks like. 🤷🏼‍♂️ but I can’t do much about it. She also may use our interactions against me.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 10:24 PM
2

You need to divorce. Yes it is scary thing to do but more you wait more you lose.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 03:00 PM
1

👍🏼
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 11:07 PM
1

Why. It is just fun if you manage your expectations
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 09:36 PM
2

I do not recall a movie but hero said I have no money to deal with a whore she said that she is not a whore and he said then I can’t afford it moreover
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 10:04 PM
1

They will cheat on you. But now you are ready to say that cheating doesn’t matter as you are not in relationship with them. Technically it is not cheating but freedom
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 10:01 PM
2

Fully agree
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 09:57 PM
7

My ex was a single mother. And guess what I was just another step to her next goal.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 09:56 PM
7

There is no women in current world that would follow legacy standards. You need to admit that you are a source of sex or money or celebrity. If none of that works you are out of the game.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 09:48 PM
4

Update. Tinder full of scum. I am IT guy and can easily recognize such things. All the girls are crypto experts and asking for your WhatsApp. So do not be stupid otherwise these guys will get some money out of you. Actually not as much as your ex 😃
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 09:43 PM
2

I think women follow instinct do get as much as they can from every man. My ex was married 3 times cheated no idea how many times and all for profit.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 08:16 PM
5

Indeed
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 07:45 PM
12

Unfortunately I have some old school mindset. Not really ready to give a pain to anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 07:44 PM
4

What I learned is that there is no other half of me somewhere else and there is no real thing out there. There is nothing to add to me as I am completely solid. Now they are just a fun time for me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 07:14 PM
2

It is interesting that only in human world female has to attract male with makeup and all. Animals are other way around. I believe cause they do not have money 😃. And do not worry I believe I already swiped her
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 05:03 PM
1

I am not serious about it. Probably waist of money
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 05:00 PM
3

Not anymore. Lesson learned 😎
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 04:59 PM
10

I do not think I will have a problem with getting someone. It was just interesting that most of these ladies already past their time and still looking for a long term. All are gym going, no drinking, princess and all. But in reality all the same scum bags
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 04:58 PM
17

And probably my one as well 😂
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 04:55 PM
2

Not the best advise but I went to the pub and read this sub. It calms me down and I came back stronger. No anger no escalation no argument. Just went asleep knowing I am not the only one.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 12:29 AM
2

I posted a reply to the same somewhere else. Do not go back as it almost never works. I did it and after 3 years more she is taking more and is more confident and prepared on how to do this to her advantage in a better way.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 07:12 PM
1

My lawyer send a TRO where all that was explained. You spend only on essentials, you do not use each other cards, and many other things
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 07:10 PM
2

Video and sound recording. In state I am it is perfectly legal. I have cameras everywhere as well as personal recorder.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 03:36 PM
6

Great summary. Thanks a lot. Small corrections - Banks are obligated to keep history for 5 years in USA - Moving out of the house will require investments. Not everyone would be able to afford mortgage and apartment at the same time.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 12:08 PM
5

I forgive my once for her infidelity and it was huge mistake. Now she is getting way more that what she would have if I kicked her ass out first time.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 05:03 AM
9

From what I saw women are planning divorce for years. So no surprise she told that she was a year in her planning. She need to make sure she has a good landing zone with enough funds. As per first statement my does exactly the same like nothing happens asking my help, want to participate events, sharing some work issues, etc. There are several reasons for that: She may want to keep you as a backup plan. She may want to picture a good person in court. She may want to make you sad and to drive you…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 01:31 AM
2

HSA will be divided as well. The most secure way to hide is cash so keep it. If you want to screw her just use HSA to pay it out and she will not be able to take half of that. My ex tried to do braces but personally I think it is more cosmetic thing than health related. So I asked to postpone until divorce is done.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 04:04 PM
5

First you need to find a lawyer and file for a divorce if not yet. She cant prevent you legally from entering a house as well as taking your car unless there is a TRO. Are car keys in your possession? If yes just go and take it especially if you need it for commute so it is reasonable. Selling house would be more complex and will go via court during divorce. You are still obligated to pay otherwise it could be considered as intentional property damage. Also, moving out of the house was not a goo…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 04:22 AM
4

No alimony in Texas for less than 10 years marriage. Unless you have been really bad to her. You end up in 50/50 of what you gain together 401k, savings, stocks, debt
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 03:05 AM
2

Sorry, but I am always wondering why guys make that many kids with such a person?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 01:48 AM
2

Yes. It is the one you can take with you with no custody question. It is you experience. I am not in a favor of revenge but some time your ex should understand what are the invisible services you did. House keeping, cars maintenance, etc. they always think such services are seamless.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 01:40 AM
2

I am in a similar realm but trying to get house under me. I did all low voltage, cameras, FW, NAS, smart switches and if I will need to move out it all will be disconnected. It is my hobby, it is my passion and I would never leave it to anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 12:10 AM
1

Talk to lawyer to make a TRO which will restrict her and you of making such things to each other. TRO is not always about kids but about how you can treat each other like using credit cards that not belongs to you, using social media in a bad way, spending limits, etc. court would not pay much attention for breach of such agreement but it will provide additional evidence.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 11:33 PM
2

Do it. You are not a support anymore for her convenient life. Switches can be operated manually. Garage door has remote. Security system - well she need to hire professional. Smart Home is not a must have things. I assume you work in IT space and this is your hobby so you take hobby with you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 04:17 PM
2

I would not take IoT part with me but would reset and cancel accounts. May be FW, NAS are the things I would disconnect and take. She was relying on you to provide these nice to have features, now it is on her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 01:18 PM
3

My old friend told me that his lawyer recommended not to do a lump sum as she can challenge it later for many different reasons. Talk to your lawyer again if that is the case and what are the risks.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 11:36 PM
4

Why not to get full custody yourself?
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 02:33 AM
1

Personally if she would not cheated I would leave her alone with fair CS and custody. But since she had an affair then she did not deserve such a favor. So you get what you entitled to.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 09:51 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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