Wife having an emotional affair two years after I stepped out.

freespeak71 · 2026-06-01T16:54:23+00:00

La loro relazione durerà da natale a santo Stefano amico mio,lei è stupida e immatura e da donna single divorziata e con figli piccoli avrebbe poche chance sul mercato,il ragazzino forse si divertirà ancora un po' poi la scaricherà perché non vorrà certo accollarsi i suoi problemi e i suoi figli e poi in giro ci sono tante ragazze più giovani e belle single...buon per te se ti liberi di questa perdente

Rtt71290 · 2026-05-12T00:43:20+00:00

You cheated then downplayed the cheating to make yourself look better. She should have divorced you then but you reap what you sow. Makes sense why the other guys didn’t have sympathy.

RunPeaceRun · 2026-05-11T15:18:57+00:00

Forgiveness happens in both sides. You tried to rebuild, feared to lose her, lived your life while putting her to center of everything after your event. What happened is happened, we can’t change past and we are all human with mistakes.

She made her own choice, neither you are same person after you changed, nor she is the same person. Of course the way you decided to forget and move on on your mistake is not easy to see same way in her example. Cultural and the way you grow up can change how you look to her betrayal vs yours. I can understand if you don’t forgive her.

I believe you are a good person that failed against hunger, desire, that’s why you felt wrong and tried to heal yourself, tried to understand. It is her choice in the end to gave up on you and seek desires too. Only thing left is talking honestly, discussing needs and expectations in life.

You lived with sword and died with sword.

notconvinced780 · 2026-05-11T12:56:15+00:00

OP, I am sorry you guys are going through these difficulties. Making a marriage work takes lots of work from both people.

OP, you said : “thing which we worked through…” as the narrative to describe the effort your spouse did (and presumably which you supported) as the aftermath of YOUR affair. It sounds like she made the commitment to work hard to get past that for both you and your relationship. By your account it sounds like you felt that effort (mostly on her part had been largely successful).

Now, when you are faced with your spouse engaged in a similar (though not identical) failure to yours, you will not make the same effort for them that they made for you. This is a second betrayal on your part. Your very quick to forgive yourself and are very quick to write off your partner for having a similar failure (that likely hadn’t reached the same ultimate “physical expression “ that yours did, but which you unilaterally judge is inevitable.

The interactions you describe with your wife sound like you talking at her and not exchanges between two parties.

How you choose to address this with your spouse, whether it ultimately results in divorce or not, is a defining event in YOUR life, OP. It is defining in that it willl demonstrate your ability to forgive the failing in someone else that they gave you. It is defining in that it shows you ability to listen have an authentic series of TWO-WAY conversations in which you listen and can work through your hurt with kindness towards the person who stumbled in a similar way that you have.

Bermnerfs · 2026-05-11T12:22:18+00:00

It always amazes me how far cheaters will go to minimize and downplay their own affairs once they get a taste of their own medicine.

You should let her go. You cheated on her and she was willing to work through it, despite it completely upending her world, but now here you are unwilling to do the same for her.

UrAristotle · 2026-05-11T12:21:46+00:00

Your behavior aside, if she hasn’t cheated with this coworker yet, it’s only because she hasn’t had the opportunity to. At some point she would have tested the boundary for a kiss and it would have gone on.

Your marriage was destroyed when you had your one night stand. You tried to rebuild, but clearly she has found comfort with something else.

Find a good attorney now and start being very careful in your interactions with her. Keep your kids as your main focus. It’s definitely going to suck, but they can get through it okay if you make them the priority. Depending on how old they are, they may need you more than her.

DarthDad25 · 2026-05-11T11:45:08+00:00

The burden you have placed on your wife is unfair. You’re asking her to have the same emotional trust and connection with you after you cheated. It will take YEARS of constant work and prioritization to save any relationship that suffers from infidelity.

Second thing I noticed: you mention yourself as “stepping out of the marriage” and you describe your wife as “emotional affair”. Why are you giving yourself a free pass by using a more polite version of what happened? You cheated man. You’re a cheater now.

Third thing- just because you cheated doesn’t mean your wife gets a free pass. But your wife is seeking the emotional attention from this other man because the emotional relationship with you is severed. You need to have a serious conversation with your wife. Not blaming her or attacking her. But listening and understanding. You are probably the reason for a lot of her actions.

Title	Wife having an emotional affair two years after I stepped out.
Author	UnlikelyLibrarian419
Upvotes	0
Comments	7
Date	May 11, 2026 7:00 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1t9vlhc/wife_having_an_emotional_affair_two_years_after_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wife-having-an-emotional-affair-two-years-after-i.1580141 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580141

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