I (M) have been married to my wife for 8 years. 2 kids. 3 and 6. We bought a house together our second year of marriage. The fixer upper type. Made a 5 year plan that I would slowly remodel and we planned to sell after completed. That plan didn't work. We are still remodeling. Last year my wife cheated on me. It was very ugly and she was attacked by the AP. This resulted in a no contact order for her and our 17 year old niece who also lives with us. I found out todav from that niece that she has never stopped seeing him. She has turned off life 360 during meetups. When I'm training with the military he has been snuck in my back door where there are no cameras. The court date still has not happened for the assault. It keeps getting pushed back. I gave her a second chance and now I am done. But she has a verv bad alcohol addiction. One of the reasons whv I can't finish our house is all the extra money goes to 200-300 a month in her drinking. Sometimes even more. He has a history of violence and multiple arrests. I'm currently gone with the army. My niece called and told me that he has been there the past 4 nights. Last night was apparently a very loud and ugly drunken fighi between the 2. With our kids also in the house. I do not want this violent individual around my kids. I also know for a fact she is drinking and driving with at least my niece in the car but possibly also our kids. I want to drive home but I'I have to be right back tomorrow. I feel like such an idiot and a failure. I'm not there to protect mv kids. I never should have trusted her. I've spent my life being a hard working good husband and father. Now I'm 30 and... I just don't even know what to feel. Do I speak to my wife at all? Do I go straight to a lawyer not tell her a thing yet? I'm alone in this barracks room and my mind is spinning faster than I can handle.