Hello, I don't know if this is a red pill question or not, so I'm taking my chances.

First, I'll admit I'm not a "strong" guy. I don't like confrontation as it gets me real emotional. I'd like to be able to keep my calm and composure at all times, even during confrontations, but I just can't at the moment.

Now, there's this guy in my group of friends who always talk down to me. He usually hides it under a "joking" tone of voice but, for some reason, I know he's not joking. He does it with others also, in this combination:

  1. slightly rises his voice over the others,

  2. talks down to the other person in some way (put down, belittle, etc) or talks to the group about that person in front of her or him,

  3. he does this with an annoyed/condescending tone of vice,

  4. hides it all as a "joke" afterwards. The point is, the attacks are all personal.

E.g.:

Guy: "That person looks like Brad Pitt!"

Me (to the person next to me, smiling): "who is Brad Pitt?"

At this point, the guy turns at me, serious and annoyed:

"You don't know who Brad Pitt is? Are you stupid?"

Now, my response should have been something along the lines: "so what? is he your boyfriend that it makes you so angry?", but I just can't. At that moment, right after the putdown, I freeze. So I know the problem is also mine.

Others (specially the girls in the group) answer angrily when he does this or laugh the way girls do when making fun of, which he uses to mock them in a friendly way or just keeps on with the same show. Me, on the other hand, just freeze. It's like he keeps his "dominance" by doing this.

After some time, it got to the point that each time I'm about to say something to the whole group, I'll automatically be expecting a putdown like this. That makes me think carefully what I say and that makes me even more edgy. And most of the time, the putdown comes. Again, even if he intervenes saying stupid stuff, the way he says it is enough to ground me. And I hate this as I've never been like this in the past. And I don't know how to deal with it.

Do any of you have any input on this? Much appreciated.