I'm disorganized, lazy, and directionless.

2013-02-02T09:12:25+00:00

Take deep breaths, get some exercise, find someone to talk to, things will almost certainly get better.

The_Patriarchy · 2013-02-02T13:20:12+00:00

Some things that may help:

Develop a productive routine for yourself. If you're unemployed, each day spend 2 hours sending out resumes/filling out applications. If you're out of shape, set aside an hour each day to exercise. etc., etc. Keep at it for about 2 weeks and it will turn into a routine and will be easy to stick to it.
Every night, create a checklist for the next day of shit you need to do. Having a checklist will keep you on track, and will make you realize what you've accomplished each day.
Set small and attainable goals for yourself. If you want to do something big, break it down into small pieces. For example, if you want to be a doctor, break that down into tiny ass goals. The first could be "pick the schools you would like to attend", the next could be "compile a list of scholarships/grants/etc. to finance your education", etc. If you want to build up your chest muscles, don't set your goal as 200 pushups if you can barely do 5. Set your goal as 5 pushups and increase it as you achieve those goals. Doing this will again make you realize what you've accomplished.
NEVER judge yourself against other people. Judge yourself against the person you were. Try to be a better person than you were the day before...nothing more, nothing less.
There's a great way to treat depression, assuming you have that. Keep a special journal. In that journal, you should have 3 columns: what happened | what you thought | what is a healthier thought. For example, if it's Friday night and you're home alone, you might think "no one called because they hate me" in the 2nd column. In the 3rd you might put "I usually work Fridays and didn't tell anyone that I was off, so maybe they didn't call because they didn't want to bother me at work". Make sense? It's basically CBT and it worked really well for me. The basic idea behind it is that we are irrational self-undermining assholes. We can correct that bullshit by correcting our irrational and self-undermining thoughts. In time, you'll start to adopt the "healthier" thoughts automatically.

I've also found moral nihilism, and hard determinism to be not only the most reasonable positions, but pretty damn comforting. Shit looks A LOT different without any sort of objective morality, and when you realize that free-will is an illusion. It's like a big weight has been lifted and you can live your life without worrying so much...at least for me anyway.

Good luck!

rightsbot · 2013-02-02T06:18:17+00:00

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um909090909090 · 2013-02-02T06:55:56+00:00

1) thank you for serving in the military.

2) AA & counseling. http://aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=28 If you're jonesing right now (do they call it that anymore? idk) then you might find a 24 hour meeting in the nearest biggish city.

A quick search found this: http://www.mycombatptsd.com/ and this: https://www.facebook.com/BattlingBare/photos_stream It may not be be the best org. there may be an "official" outlet from the military. I really don't know. If you want to email me at [email protected], I'll try tomorrow after I've had some sleep, to help you find more resources from a post-military support perspective.

Based on your three lines, you probably have more to work through than post-combat PTSD, but that help may at least be a start.

2013-02-02T13:38:38+00:00

You are out of the matriarchy now son, time to heal yourself.

Hateblade · 2013-02-02T15:59:24+00:00

My thoughts are that if you did it in the military, you can do it as a civilian. Surround yourself with good, helpful and supportive people of both sexes and get yourself the way YOU want to be.

Good luck to you.

C0CKPUNCHER · 2013-02-02T09:29:33+00:00

I think the first thing to do is to not use overly vague broad negatives, but to be specific as to what are your shortcomings.

You were in the military, so lazy and disorganized are not accurate, since it is a job and it requires keeping your own bed etc tidy.

If you find yourself sometimes working and sometimes not, what is it that makes the difference?

themountaingoat · 2013-02-02T09:17:51+00:00

Don't blame your mother. She may be a total shit but you are ultimately responsible for yourself.

Other than that I would urge you to not think that you need to do anything. Realize that you don't really need to do anything, and from there do things because you either want to or need to do them because they are a means to an end.

I cannot offer much help with the drug problem other than to quit if you want to, not because you feel you should.

Title	I'm disorganized, lazy, and directionless.
Author	TorturedByWomb
Upvotes	11
Comments	11
Date	February 2, 2013 6:17 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/17qqxl/im-disorganized-lazy-and-directionless/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-disorganized-lazy-and-directionless.1605412 https://theredarchive.com/post/1605412

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