I'm getting so tired...

Maito_Guy · 2019-03-31T16:29:30+00:00

I'm really sorry mate, I can only imagine what you are going through. I am guessing you can't afford a lawyer to fight for access/custody? This is not your fault, it is the fault of a broken system and a woman that is not putting the best interests of her child first.

If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me. I would consider finding a male friendly therapist.

Gaki-San · 2019-03-31T18:48:13+00:00

You became the father by simply having sex, and whether you got to be a Dad was taken away from you by someone else's decisions. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

I was in your boat, and I fought back the depression by writing my son every week. Friday night I'd write him a letter, at least a page long, that detailed my week, how much I was missing him, how I'd wish he were here to spend some time with me, etc. You clearly care, so put that down on the page so you have a physical expression of that caring. At the very worst, you'll have 9 years of self-therapy. At the best, you'll have a wonderful record to hand your daughter when she comes looking for you.

As for the finances ... I just stopped paying in November 2017. I'm proof positive it ends.

Due to the fact I lived like a pauper, despite having some pretty decent money coming in, now my disposable income is through the roof. After 18 years of living like a monk, I can't shut it off. I 'splurged' by buying myself a new phone, new tablet and new computer ... and now I'm just socking money away.

Build good financial habits, and keep that mindset and behaviour when it ends, and you'll come out ahead.

grandmasbroach · 2019-03-31T19:57:16+00:00

I don't know. Are you going to make it better? What are you doing for your health? Eating good food and exercising? Lifting weights, not cardio, is just as effective as anti depressants. Then, you should be taking at LEAST 2 grams of omega 3, specifically EPA and DHA. I use Carlson Labs, the lemon flavored liquid one, it doesn't taste bad at all. I chase it with OJ.

It won't get better, unless you make it better. Is it easy? No, not at all. It is very, very hard. But, once you start having these better habits, you should start to feel better.

Here's a good place to start. I'm not going to lie to you like a lot of people and say it will get better. I've been where you are and know for a fact that isn't true. It gets better when you decide to do actually take action and do something about it. It will ONLY get better if you start living differently. Obviously what you're doing now isn't working for you and you need a change. That, or live a miserable, depressing, angry, life. Which, many people do because it's easier. Easier isn't better though. In fact, it's usually the opposite.

Get the book. https://youtu.be/-5RCmu-HuTg

CryingHappyMonkey · 2019-03-31T20:57:03+00:00

Look around for a lawyer who does volunteer work for low-income people and see if you can find someone who will help you get some time with the kid.

ChensKitchen · 2019-03-31T20:28:16+00:00

DubsPackage · 2019-03-31T17:36:19+00:00

This sounds like a horrible thing to say but I think your child will be just fine without you.

For all the faults women have, most of them are decent at parenting, and your kid can't miss what they doesn't experience.

So you shouldn't feel guilty about anything.

As far as the rest, well all I can offer you is warm greetings, just keep on keeping on brother.

Title	I'm getting so tired...
Author	Hunter_Este
Upvotes	35
Comments	21
Date	March 31, 2019 4:15 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/b7pemd/im-getting-so-tired/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-getting-so-tired.1625853 https://theredarchive.com/post/1625853

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