How I feel about Today’s session:
I’m surprised by today’s session. It taught me a lot about blind spots. A subtle and single variable that you're not aware of can change a lot. Crazy when you think about it.
I saw a video by high integrity skills on YouTube talking about 4 non-verbal beginners often make in a cold approach. And it talks about the slant angle of your neck, non-verbally communicates neediness. It really makes a difference. Here’s the link: https://youtu.be/LPV7RjGAW1g?si=3pw4FioVndAzP2GH
Check it out, it’ll help if you make said mistakes. But make sure not to read/watch too much theory, it leads to analysis paralysis which brings negative returns. I learned that the hard way lol.
The difference I saw is actually quite a bit. I got greeted by 3 women. And I noticed people/women staring at me for a second longer than usual. Mind you I usually always have to be the one who greets, literally all the other variables were the same but this one thing changed. I guess the neck thing is attractive haha.
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Goal Today:
2 conversations
3 compliments
Today I was working on about 2 mechanics. The volume of my voice and the slant of my neck positioning it back.
Achieved:
I achieved my goal today, I didn’t really expect to though I did so.
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My first set was with a woman who was walking with her headphones on. I walked close to her, neck slanted back a little bit. I was a few steps behind her when she looked back at me with a mean looking face. But I behaved calmly(I wasn’t actually calm internally tho lol).
I asked her what she was listening to.
She said “Drake”
I said “I didn’t expect that from you” implying that she doesn’t look like the type to listen to Drake.
She smiled a little bit.
“I thought you were listening to RNB”
Then I sang the lyrics to Drake's Shabang song. I was tryna tease her a little bit here but she didn't mind the song. Sang along a little. Then we parted ways and I said goodbye.
I could feel the “vibe”, it was fun, she looked and it kinda felt like she was charmed. Overall good set.
What I did better this time:
- I kept a good neck position throughout the conversation, and spoke with more volume than I did. This is a win!
As an effect, I displayed non-neediness through body language, and she reacted well to it. This is quite the contrast to what I’ve been getting(results) in recent weeks.
What I could have done better:
I could have listened to her better and been more present. Tried to pay attention to the environment, what she was wearing, the sounds, as I was in my head a few times.
Either way, I made an older woman laugh. I don't usually approach someone who looks older than me like that but I did it twice.
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Most important sets(detailed):
The set that scared me the most. I complimented a woman on her skin in the store. I thought she was by herself but I think she was with her man.
Based on her reaction, I think she didn’t take it well. She was surprised that I did that, and showed me with hand gestures her man, and child gesture which I genuinely didn’t notice, then I greeted the man she was with as well. I just withdrew from that set, internally it was very scary. I thought the guy was going to freak out about it. I feel bad I crossed that boundary without noting.
What I did better this time:
I tried facing a fear I had. Which was complimenting a woman in front of people. Being the guy that directly and shows clear intent when he approaches women whilst risking a blowout or non-mutual interest.
I’m proud of myself for doing this. I’m working on a skillset. I’m improving day-by-day. I can’t wait to see what I can do in a year's time. When I’m good.
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Focus Next Session:
Next session I want to focus on the volume of voice and body language, because I feel I have to set these behaviours in as a habit before I move onto anything else.
8 sets this week so far!
I’m celebrating 10+ field reports written this year as well. I’m improving and I hope to inspire more guys to take action, and celebrate the small wins along the way.
