My longterm SO is gorgeous, but I just found out I'm a 6 in the face. How can he even be attracted to me?

adamryanx · 2014-08-09T13:24:25+00:00

If your husband is your alpha, and if he says he finds you attractive, then there's nothing more to discuss. Leave it alone. Why undermine the authority of your husband by questioning his taste, comparing it to what a bunch of people on the internet said about you?

You're not married to the internet. You're married to your husband.

VarsitySlutTeamCpt · 2014-08-09T06:06:09+00:00

The thing about us men is we like you based on how you make us feel, looks is just a byproduct. I wouldnt think too much on it.

dsrpta · 2014-08-09T03:15:56+00:00

The Internet tends to be notoriously harsh on women. In my opinion, due to porn oversaturation. Yet, there is porn of millions of different types because look at that men prefer a wide variety of tastes.

To be quite frank though, it doesn't matter. If your SO is happy with your appearance then why are you worried? You're going to implode your relationship because of your dissatisfaction when there is no problem in the first place. Don't do that. There's always someone better looking. So what.

Informational purposes only

Generally speaking, a man's 1-10 scale will look like a bell curve if you throw in the rest of the population. A woman that the majority of men think of as a 6 within one standard deviation or 68%, there will be about 27% split evenly that will think she is a 5 or 7, and then there will be about 5% that will think she is a 4 or 8. Yes, this means that even 8-9 celebrities some men can think of as merely 6s and vice versa.

Thus, if you had very few or no 5s for a face then it's likely you're at least 7 for a face when taking into account Internet bias. But none of this matters.

TL;DR Trust your SO's tastes and don't obsess over comparing yourself to others.

Occams_Shiv · 2014-08-09T08:18:54+00:00

Any time you post a picture of yourself online you are being judged about 50% on the quality of your makeup and photography. The camera is not kind, forgiving, or remotely realistic. It does not represent us the way our brain sees faces in real life.

This is why when gorgeous celebrities post these ridiculous no-makup selfies, they look hideous. This is why every photo of any woman destined for print has been dodged, burned, airbrushed and softened/sharpened since before color printing, let alone photoshop. This is is not done to lie, but to more accurately represent her true beauty.

Look at the picture you posed with a critical eye. Was the makeup you wore much heavier than normal, and professionally applied? Was the lighting soft, and cool, with a strong warm backlight? What clothes were you wearing? What was the focal length and aperture of the camera lens? Kate moss shot with a phone camera, with normal walking-around-makeup would be a solid 7.

Look critically at the photo you posted. Does it honestly reflect how you see yourself when you look your best? If not, add 2 points. Add one more point because r/rateme is super critical, and you could very well be a 9.

Makeup, beauty lighting and photoshop exist to correct for distortions caused by the photographic process, not to create an impossible standard of beauty.

If your boyfriend thinks you are hot then you are hot. Don't sweat it.

edit: typo

BluepillProfessor · 2014-08-09T15:52:25+00:00

Stop worrying M'lady!

A 9-10 body trumps a 6 face for almost any man. Even better news: The body is totally under your control. In fact my masculine mathematics is able to deduce that a 9-10 body and a 6 face equals an 8 at a minimum. An 8 female with a 9 male is the PERFECT match.

On your other issue: Is one person's 6 another's 9? You betcha! My wife is a 9 to me but I am sure other's would disagree. Well screw them. Contrary to the consensus, not all men want Barbie dolls with tiny feet, a pert nose, and flawless features. A woman can EASILY raise her SMV by 2 points with nice clothes and makeup. A pleasant, helpful First Officer who has enthusiastic sex on demand is EASILY 3 points higher on the SMV scale than a ballbusting feminist wife who uses sex to gain his compliance. Fear not.

ulikekrabbypatties2 · 2014-08-09T05:59:33+00:00

I just looked at /r/rateme, they're really super harsh. Judging by what I just saw, if some said 6 and some said 9, that means you're definitely in the top 10% in terms of looks. What matters is not whether some people find you unattractive, what matters is whether some people find you very attractive.

ludovician · 2014-08-09T09:23:51+00:00

I have a big nose, small eyes and am hitting 40 next month so even though I look incredibly young for my age, I doubt I'm even a 6.

However, I smile. I smile all the time. I have resting smile-face. That's something you can practice; just a gentle smile that doesn't stress the muscles. I think it's one of the reasons why I'm still looking quite young (along with avoiding sun, using an SPF moisturizer and not smoking), and guys still seem to find me attractive.

I'm amazed how many women I see on the London underground who just look really pissed off. Lines from nose to jaw. Lines on their forehead. Lines around their tense eyes. Mouth turned down at the corners. They're not pissed off; they're just sleepy, but they've had that expression so often, for so long, it's become their resting face.

So, if you want to up that score IRL rather than on the very harsh internet, learn to smile. If you catch yourself frowning, replace it with a gentle smile. Learn to be calm, and smile more. It also has the advantage of making you feel happier (smiling actually kicks in the smile-chemicals too!)

Of course, if you already smile a lot... well, that explains why your SO finds you attractive. Because it is.

ulikekrabbypatties2 · 2014-08-09T13:34:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SirNemesis · 2014-08-09T16:12:43+00:00

You're worried because your face is rated 6 (average-above average), and you have a smoking hot body?

And people tell your SO he is lucky to be with you?

First world problems lady.

aresta · 2014-08-09T16:17:16+00:00

I'll share my perspective on this. First of all, relationships I find to be far more stable when both partners are of relatively the same attractiveness.

That being said I do think that there tends to be a lot of variation when it comes to what we find attractive. For example, some dudes like Asian girls, to me their face look like Aliens so a 9/10 Asian in general society is a 5/10 to me.

For me, I have a weird attraction to girls that look like my first girlfriend. She by every standard would only be 5.5/10 in other people's books but my ideal match.

Don't get plastic surgery men look at women with disgust. Same way girls don't like PUAs because they fake confidence women that do plastic surgery do the same thing.

My advice to you would be to focus on skin care, and keeping yourself healthy, not makeup, not other bull shit. The fact that you are RPW, is already boosting you in terms of attractiveness. Also remember that looks have far more to do with initial attraction as opposed to long term which falls into wifey goggles.

ulikekrabbypatties2 · 2014-08-09T19:11:22+00:00

If your SO finds you attractive, don't question it. That shows you don't respect his opinions and is a bad thing to do as a partner. Who cares if everyone else thinks your face is a 6 so long as your SO finds you attractive? You are dating him, not everyone else.

You need to get your self-esteem boosted a bit. If you really want to improve your face, you can do so with makeup and even the way your hair looks can make your face look better (certain cuts go with certain face shapes and whatnot). But make sure your SO approves the changes! You want to look good for him, regardless of how you look to anyone else.

TheOpposingView · 2014-08-09T17:43:43+00:00

Good lord the bragplaining...

milkthi · 2014-08-09T03:22:53+00:00

Allow me to commiserate. I have the exact same problem as you. My body is good and I always get comments on it from other people. But my face, my face is "cute" at best and it's my weakest feature. In a way, this is a mixed blessing because it forces me to focus on my body even more. But there have been days when I consider plastic surgery.

However, I could not live with myself if I lost my uniqueness, all the quirks that make my face me. It's hard to get to this point, and I certainly have bad days, but in the end I would prefer to remain me.

Title	My longterm SO is gorgeous, but I just found out I'm a 6 in the face. How can he even be attracted to me?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	27
Date	August 9, 2014 12:06 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2d12u8/my_longterm_so_is_gorgeous_but_i_just_found_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-longterm-so-is-gorgeous-but-i-just-found-out-im.165670 https://theredarchive.com/post/165670

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