At the end of my rope: My one-year journey with TRP and I still have confidence issues.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2014-01-12T19:53:37+00:00

I haven't in the time that I've been at school or on trp, done a single cold approach. (In fact, I've never mustered up the courage to do one in my life.

You're still not ready to swallow the pill. Fear, shame, self-blame and self-hate are still comforting to you and you still find them to be productive. You still want to have a scarcity mentality. You want to keep being a victim.

Remember that your problem isn't a lack of success ......it's a lack of failure.

You should start actively seeking out failure and rejection instead of running from them. You need to WANT to keep failing and then getting back up again. The times you've stumbled should be a badge of honor for you, because then you can look back and see a few of the things that you can try differently next time. You don't see the part afterwards where you brush yourself off, shrug your shoulders, and get over it. All you want to see is failure.

Nobody gets good at anything until they're willing to fail hundreds of times at it.

Then cold approaches wont faze you, the idea that one single woman would think badly of you or be put off won't mean a thing, because what's one woman's opinion when there are 3 billion more out there?

for the work I've put into myself, I'm not getting what I want out of life,

but it's frustrating to not see results.

I believe you just admitted You've put zero work into meeting women or developing social skills. In fact you've invested nothing substantial on this front and have gotten zero return on that non-investment.

Come back when you've been hurt and frustrated enough that you simply can no longer give a fuck about what women say and what women think. Come back when you're ready to actually swallow TRP and start investing and taking risks.

it's a confidence problem. I'm subservient. I'm weak........... I'm nowhere near assertive.

These aren't things you "are" by default. These are ways you choose to act, because such actions are comfortable and don't require extra effort, thought, or practice.

"I don't want to act confidently. I want to act subservient, i want to act weak, i don't want to be anwyeher near assertive."

RedPillD · 2014-01-12T06:27:18+00:00

This reminds me of a younger me. I think you need to get laid. I remember before I had kissed a girl or lost my virginity, I could fake it and attract girls right up until the point where I needed to make a move. I'd be too shy because it was uncharted territory for me. I'd expose myself as the shy and inexperienced guy I was. Now, it doesn't seem like a big deal anymore and the mental block is gone. You could argue that this was putting pussy on a pedestal and maybe it was. But honestly, losing my virginity was a hurdle in my life holding me back and I'm glad I've crossed that bridge.

NitzXL · 2014-01-12T20:10:20+00:00

Approach so many girls that you get rejected 10 times a day.

Also approach guys to make new friends.

Dress better to increase confidence too.

[deleted] · 2014-01-12T23:25:06+00:00

[permanently deleted]

tr8 · 2014-01-12T23:23:40+00:00

done a single cold approach. (In fact, I've never mustered up the courage to do one in my life.)

Approach anxiety is real. Approach anxiety exists for a reason. That reason ceased to be valid a century ago. You simply have to push through.

There are many fantastic materials and blogs. You can go read Heartiste, Krauser (great for day game), all excellent. Quality info on the Internet abounds.

All of that is worthless without action. You have to try. And odds are it will not work the first time. Or tenth.

There is no other way. No trick.

Stop postponing it until you get bigger, have higher GPA or more male friends. Do two approaches tomorrow, the day after that, and the day after that. Until it works. If you get stuck, come here and ask, or consult whatever books, blogs, or videos you liked. But try something, any of those things you learned.

Also, you tell women to put their number into your phone. Don't wait until she chooses to give it.

Tway_the_Parley · 2014-01-12T07:48:23+00:00

Dont dont dont pay money for pickup, get an app like tindr or open an account on okcupid and start from there, chat with girls, ANY girl that has an interest in you and gain experience from that for free before putting cash for anything.

CptJackSwallows · 2014-01-12T13:44:47+00:00

Stop being such a pussy, you are complaining about not getting with girls but you are not making any effort to get with them. Read the game and mystery method it will help you believe more that it is possible. Stop being an armchair person and actually go speak to people. Join a sports team if you want to make solid friends easily or even a group like debating or whatever. Go out and be pro-active instead if thinking everything is going to magically change.

Rejection is not as bad as you think, never take it personally. You can get shot down by a girl one week and the next week speak to the same girl and she will be into you. Learn to laugh about it.

I was on holiday in Malta approached this girl and asked her for her name, she said fuck off, I told her that her parents probably did not like her very much if that is what they called her, she retorted by telling me to seriously fuck off. Went back to my mates laughed about how shut down I got and moved on with my night. Practice makes perfect

abcd_z · 2014-01-12T11:06:34+00:00

Reposting a comment I made elsewhere:

1) Define your goal. Make sure that the goal is SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound.

2) Figure out one ridiculously small step that would move you towards your goal. That's your goal for the day.

3) No, smaller than that. We're talking stuff like "march in front of the TV one minute each night" for the goal of losing weight, or "eat in the cafeteria instead of my office" for the goal of meeting new people. [note: in your case SadDrop, you might want to choose "saying 'hello' to a female stranger", or even "asking a stranger for the time" as your initial goal.]

4) Record the days when you accomplish your daily goal and the days you don't. For the days you don't, figure out what happened that day to cause you to fail and figure out a way to prevent, avoid, or mitigate the problem in the future.

5) [optional] Reward yourself with a small reward each time you accomplish a daily goal, or create a token economy where you earn points for larger rewards. Don't use large rewards for every daily goal accomplished because that actually reduces motivation over the long term. [Note that use of the reward system may or may not decrease your intrinsic interest in accomplishing your goals (the "overjustification effect). There's conflicting literature on the subject. If you need rewards, use them. Otherwise, don't.]

6) If you ever get bored, change the small step to something larger. Just remember that the small step must always be achievable.

Repeat steps 2-6 until you have achieved your goal.

bh3244 · 2014-01-12T09:53:04+00:00

try harder. you have to start trying.

[deleted] · 2014-01-12T19:18:02+00:00

How bad do you want it? Are you expecting shit to happen on it's own? You said it yourself you have been here for a year and haven't had much action, and you yielded the correct results. Nothing. Do you have a fear of rejection? Why not trying to go to a hot chick and ask where the parties are? If she says no then NEXT! If you don't ask it is a 100% chance you next yourself! The writings in TRP are true and have helped me in many aspects in life, but change requires intense action. However do not let it effect you grades right now. If you fuck college up and work a shit job you will be a beta with no money and judging by your lack of success life will be fucking miserable. Don't let this consume you.

mrpoopistan · 2014-01-12T19:56:02+00:00

You need to consider therapy with a counselor who specializes in extreme forms of avoidant personality disorder. (Frankly, I think about 15% or so of the guys lurking round these subreddits need to do this.)

If The Thirst hasn't done enough to drive you to ever get even a single kiss, then there's some other shit going wrong between your ears, kiddo, and you need to be working with a competent professional to jigger those problems out.

Title	At the end of my rope: My one-year journey with TRP and I still have confidence issues.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	24
Comments	16
Date	January 12, 2014 4:35 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1v0e4v/at_the_end_of_my_rope_my_oneyear_journey_with_trp/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/at-the-end-of-my-rope-my-one-year-journey-with-trp.171131 https://theredarchive.com/post/171131

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