Abundance mentality without abundance

-Tyler_Durden- · 2014-02-17T18:49:13+00:00

Easy answer: fake it until you make it.

You could try abundance transfer mentality. Recall one moment in your life that made you a winner and relive it. Get yourself pumped up and then go in for the kill.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2014-02-17T14:52:33+00:00

I usually get called on my bluff and end up alone.

It's not supposed to be a bluff, my friend. Your girlfriend didn't respect you; you are better off alone.

Do you believe that? You should think on it until you realize that it's true. Because this is where the abundance mentality comes from - it's not that you have an abundance of women. It's that you have an abundance of happiness even when you're alone.

This is an abundance mentality: You start out happy. You're a happy person. You're willing to share that happiness with a worthy woman. She comes into your life not to "complete" you or to make you happy, but to share the abundance that you have.

If she fucks it up, if she lessens your happiness, then you cut her out of your life so that you go back to being happy.

The reason you failed is that you're afraid to be alone. You started out unhappy, and you wanted a woman to make you happy. When it wasn't working out, you thought you could somehow trick her. But it was just a bluff.

TRP is not a trick. It's not sleight of hand. You should never lie or bluff.

My advice to you is to take this time, while you're alone, to do an honest (brutal) assessment of yourself. Pick something that you want to improve about yourself. Pick up a musical instrument, or maybe learn a language. Improve your physical fitness. Start a hobby that is productive

Re: productive hobbies, my sister had this old table stored in a shed. It used to be our dining room table when we were little. She let her two kids play and do art projects on it, so it picked up a lot of gouges and the like. She was going to throw it away, but gave it to me instead. I have never done anything like this before - I didn't even take shop in high school. But I got this table outside and started working on it, and I've really been enjoying myself. It's going to be beautiful when I'm finished with it.

And I think I've discovered a new hobby. You need to do something like that.

Then, and only then, will you have the proper mindset - an abundance of happiness - to approach women, enjoy their company, have great sex, and drop them (not just bluff, but actually dump them) without a second thought if they don't live up to your standards.

radicaIcentrist · 2014-02-17T17:55:49+00:00

People talk about "spinning plates" to foster abundance mentality but you don't need plates. You just need to be outcome independent, which can happen with 10 plates, 3 or 0.

drrtyfrrnr · 2014-02-17T11:24:47+00:00

Whenever I just try to fake it, I usually get called on my bluff and end up alone.

Expound more on this. Who is calling your bluff and how? Abundance mentality isn't really something you blab about, it's just how you feel, so I find it odd that someone can call you out on something you don't talk about.

bsutansalt · 2014-02-17T16:07:23+00:00

an old trick I learned is to go to a strip club for an hour or two before you hit the bars/clubs. you'll be so acclimated to all the hot chicks that when you get to the bars or clubs later their beauty won't affect you.

[deleted] · 2014-02-17T11:06:51+00:00

OP, how do you define "abundance mentality"? It sounds like you may be looking at it wrong.

What you don't want, is a definition of abundance mentality which relies on external validation. Bad things happen when your mindset is reliant on things you can't fully control.

One of these definitions of AM relies on having abundance. The other does not.

I have a lot of plates right now, and so feel comfortable with rejection because I'm getting validation from elsewhere. Got rejected? It's all good, because knowing I have plates defends my ego.
There are women literally everywhere. I don't need to stress, I don't need to put up with shit. I can do what I want, what I think is fun, and it's all good, because if shit goes down, there are women everywhere

Wolfwoodd · 2014-02-17T15:31:49+00:00

All I can tell you is how I did it. I spun plates for a 1-2 years. I didn't promise monogamy to any one girl, I saw each girl once a week (twice at the most), and I always made a point to have at least two in the rotation. During that period, I did a lot of internet dating and I learned a lot about women and drama.

In short, don't push for relationships like you did with this last girl. Keep spinning plates.

Lets_get_Medical · 2014-02-17T19:11:46+00:00

Yeah you literally have to get your poker face out until you honestly have a good hand.

asd1100 · 2014-02-17T19:28:06+00:00

Become at peace with being alone. Don't look at it with dread.

Try to pick up girls constantly, plan head to head dates. Actually be busy, don't just bluff. When you reach a stage at which a you are gratefull for a flake. You have reached your destination.

[deleted] · 2014-02-17T21:21:28+00:00

The way I look at is that I, alone, am at my most abundant. Any girl I take under my wing is a defecate to the precious time I could better spend honing my craft, having actual fun/actual interesting conversations with my bro friends, learning new things, working out, making money etc. etc. The women in my life are valuable to my dick and nothing more.

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Title	Abundance mentality without abundance
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	18
Comments	28
Date	February 17, 2014 4:16 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1y49vk/abundance_mentality_without_abundance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/abundance-mentality-without-abundance.171489 https://theredarchive.com/post/171489

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