Total loss of frame, need some advice to regain control of this situation

DonaldBaelish · 2017-01-22T17:37:47+00:00

Acting before thinking has always been so detrimental. Lets say you raised your value a little bit by lifting , dressing well and overall following the holy sidebar. Then you took it all and dumped it in the toilet by setting one of the most retarded ultimatums I have ever read. Talk is cheap and your attempt to negotiate desire by open communication is also.

But we did learn one thing. She absolutely does not want to fuck you and was petrified by the idea of having to put your dick inside of her for a whole month. You have a long way to go.

Then she tells you that she wants a break and you think that dreading the fuck out of her will be helpful. You fail to see the big picture. She wants a break. She wants out. You have oneitis.

In the end you tell us that she is great other than this incident. By this incident you mean the fact that you don't actually have sex at all.

Why not restart it all?

crew6dawg0 · 2017-01-22T17:59:23+00:00

You done fucked up A-A-Ron.

Something that TRP teaches is not to punish a woman directly for things she fails to do (Ex: Your gf isn't fucking you) If she doesn't fuck you, we don't say "Please fuck me or I'm going to be super duper butt hurt!!!!" We initiate dread or ghosting to allow the girl to realize her actions are not acceptable.

So what you should have done is not even run the bath in the first place to try and get fucked. She isn't putting out, accept it after the second attempt and leave it where it lays.

What you do AFTER that is you don't take her to the Valentines day shit, But you don't take her "because you wont fuck me". You don't take her because "you just don't know how you feel about the relationship, its lacking the passion you used to have with her and the romance, and you just don't have that burning desire for her that you used to". If she has any type of hamster in her head, it will eventually realize that passion/romance=sex. She'll understand that if she wants that Valentines day appreciation, she has to appease your needs.

Now women aren't stupid, so when she hears that line, she might drop the "YOU DONT MEAN PASSION, YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME YOU ASSHOLE". Just stand firm in what you said, and don't take her bait.

I would not bring up the Valentines day thing again period, only allow her. When she puts on the heat to tell her if it's going to happen, drop the above line. Once you tell her that, be a fucking man and hold your god damn ground like its the Red Coats trying to destroy the American Revolution.

vandaalen · 2017-01-22T17:43:42+00:00

Bullshit. You are totally in the right here.

You arr basically having a platonic friendship and not a relationship here. Do you take out your friends for valentines? Probably not.

Fucking self-entitlement of bitches knows no boundaries.

Should have asked her what she wants to have break from. You are already having a break at the moment.

And no. She isn't "a great girl" otherwise. She manipulated you into gradually becoming a sexless beta chump who even thinks it's his fault that she did.

You also didn't even start dreading her. Start with soft texting her bitch ass until she apologizes for her bullshit. Then meet and do not initiate sex. If she doesn't, hard next.

Anyways you are not taking her out anywhere this year. Buy a bag of skittles.

Finally this is a great example why you don't get back together with exes. This is the kind of shit that happens. There is a reason for why they are exes.

SisyphosOnTop · 2017-01-22T17:37:40+00:00

said we should take a break. Who said that? Your most essential information can be read both ways. God I hate it when people are not precise..

Anyway. Sexless month. Bargaining for sex (lol.) On/off relationship. Dreading her with what? Doesn't sound like you have options.

You want to regain control (though it doesnt read like you ever had it), move on.

[deleted] · 2017-01-22T19:30:24+00:00

Haha. You can't make this shit up.

Never ever 'ask' for sex.

FrameWalker · 2017-01-22T23:51:13+00:00

Next time keep your mouth shut. Get ripped. Groom. Shave bodyhair ifbyou have to. Get your shit together. Never talk about wanting sex like this again.

Willow-girl · 2017-01-22T23:55:01+00:00

I think if I could somehow get passed this we would be fine.

NOOOOOooooooo!

Dude, you sound really young, so let me give you some advice I wish someone had given me 30 years ago. Find someone whose sex drive matches your own, two years into the relationship. (Any relationship can run under its own steam for about two years; it takes awhile to figure out what a person is REALLY like after all the hormonal giddiness wears off.)

If, 2+ years in, you're still having the amount of sex that makes you both happy, then get married or pledge your undying love or whatever. However, if you're NOT ... that's a huge red flag that this relationship is going to leave you frustrated and unhappy a lot of the time. Which is not what relationships are for, right?

GeorgeWallace1968 · 2017-01-23T18:07:35+00:00

Hard next. If I find out you took her to the Keg on Valentine's day or any other day, I will find you and beat your ass. Better yet, promise her the fine Valentine's day dinner and then flake an hour before.

Title	Total loss of frame, need some advice to regain control of this situation
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	12
Date	January 22, 2017 5:19 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5pi6ce/total_loss_of_frame_need_some_advice_to_regain/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/total-loss-of-frame-need-some-advice-to-regain.181903 https://theredarchive.com/post/181903

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