Can get girls attracted and have sex, but I'm terrible at sex and they lose interest

TheInkerman · 2016-11-01T21:21:26+00:00

You can get ED treated, although your anxiety about having sex isn't going to help you. Read the 'Sex God Method' if you haven't already. Get good at using your fingers, and don't rely on your dick until you have more confidence.

cozyfeet · 2016-11-02T00:12:49+00:00

Most issues are anxiety and confidence related. Lets look at the most common ways these two attributes are manifested. That is, I'm going to guess that your issues with sex are a result of:

Poor body image
Lack of sexual theory
Too much porn
Risk adverse from an overall increase in anxiety and decrease of confidence

Body Image: You need to be Body Positive™. I do not mean that you need to be happy with how your body is today, but rather that you need to work hard to create a body that you are greatly happy with. That you know is awesome. Many people are insecure when naked because they know their bodies are not attractive. Take of your clothes, stand in front of the mirror, and ask yourself, is this the body a woman wants to be with.

Eat healthy, hit the gym hard and sculpt your body. When women sincerely compliment your naked body anxiety dissipates and confidence builds

Sexual Theory: Sex is an activity like any other. In order to get good you need to read theory and then practice, practice, practice the techniques. Read and understand "The Sex God Method" by Daniel Rose. It's tricky to remember and implement but over time it becomes muscle memory.

There are tons of articles and other books on how to have great sex, but ultimately its about 2 things: empathy, and a list of moves that work on 90% of girls. There are tried and true methods that work great on most women that should be implemented in a sort of "shotgun" approach when you first have sex with a women. You want to implement these standard moves, then use empathy to identify and react to the women's responses. Not all women are the same in what they like and the degrees to which they like it. But they are all capable of expressing when they like something or don't like something, you just need to be ready to listen to them communicate it to you in what ever manner they use (words, moans, movement, flexing muscles, breathing pace etc). The more empathy you have, the easier it is to understand a women's communication.

Too Much Porn: Stop watching porn to masturbate. Man masturbated for thousands of years without porn, you can last a couple weeks. Masturbate less frequently. There is nothing wrong with masturbation, however many men have overdone it and must now ween themselves off. Frequent masturbation and porn use will kill your sex drive. Abstaining from porn and masturbation will manifest in more assertiveness and more sexual aggression in the bedroom. Your partners will like this.

Risk Aversion: It can be very intimidating to try new things in the bedroom. A lot of self doubt and insecurity can creep up and overwhelm you by hijacking your inner dialogue. The trick here is to build confidence in yourself and your actions. Confidence is built by sculpting an attractive fit body and knowing your partner is lusting after you. Confidence is be built when you have abstained from porn and masturbation and your testosterone and sexual energy is through the roof. Confidence is built when you have read and reread The Sex God Method so that the fundamentals to great sex are internalized and believed and are second nature to you.

There is always a little fear and excitement when trying something new in the bedroom, but with time and confidence you can overcome any anxiety and have great sex.

ED Related: If you have ED or think you do, change your diet now. No more simple sugars. Reduce the amount of garbage processed carbs that you are eating. That is, never eat anything from the grocery store unless it comes from the produce isle or the meat/fish counter. Anything in colorful packages is absolute garbage. And for God's sake don't even look at soda.

Do kegel exercises. Do them at work. Do them on the bus. Do them when your watching Netflix. Your dick needs the kegel muscle to get hard. Use it or lose it. Work out your kegels!

quicklogaccount · 2016-11-01T22:03:17+00:00

Man, do you have any issue getting hard to fap?
I assume your boner issue is anxiety, not some clinical issue. A beta blocker will do but there are natural ways, kava tea, that shit. It actually helps.
OR you can the proper blue pill for the job, but be wary. Once you build a little bit of intimacy with the girl you probably won't be needing it anymore, and once you nail some girls, probably won't need it with new girls either. If it doesn't turn out like that you'll have to look the anxiety thing.

As for technique, there are the posts about it on TRP. Some seem solid, some I have no idea. But since you're above the issue of getting the girl to bed, honestly, I'd seek a few pros, openly tell them the issue, and fuck them. Classes.

900PercentSaltIntake · 2016-11-01T21:22:33+00:00

Unless your sexual moves resemble a sidewalk slab falling over you should be ok. Have you tried fast/slow, deeper/shallow, the 6 and 1 tease, attacking from an angle, hip movement?

[deleted] · 2016-11-01T21:40:08+00:00

I would actually read books on sex techniques.

Actually, you may want to check the main TRP sub about posts on rough sex. Most women love it and it doesn't take a genius to really do it... Just gotta be careful not to go overboard but that post gave info about it too. I believe the title was how to fuck your woman roughly or something.

Arschrapine · 2016-11-01T23:12:30+00:00

Sex is literally the easiest thing to get good at.

The only reason there are so many men (and far more women) who are not good at sex is because they never think about being better. They shove their fingers in to check the hole is wet like working an engine oil dipstick then bam they dick the hole.

However the very fact you consider the subject of being better at sex means you are now able to learn that:

most women don't get off on dick

zboo1h · 2016-11-01T23:39:39+00:00

Try not giving a fuck about their pleasure and focus on yours. That's always worked really well for me. I've had seldom complaints and if they complain I just get a new one.

uwotm891 · 2016-11-02T02:21:27+00:00

Op, get some cialis or viagra until you have your problems sorted out. Maybe you have low test. Maybe you need to chill out and not care so much. Quit treating sex like this end all be all thing. It's just sex player. Also read sex god method.

wade2634 · 2016-11-02T02:21:35+00:00

Reading up on sex and all that will be helpful like these guys say. I think you can benefit from getting a less attractive partner to practice with for a while too though. They will be grateful enough to be with you that your performance won't matter that much. This was something that helped me at least.

FleshPanda · 2016-11-02T03:37:11+00:00

Meditate. Take some deep breaths. Learn to control your anxiety. Live in the moment. Let your dick take control. It knows what to do.

cobalt1728 · 2016-11-02T04:24:08+00:00

It's hard to get better, girls expect a certain of performance and confidence right off the bat and if you can't deliver you get dropped .

I think alot of guys are in the same boat; can't get into any relationships because they can't get past the hookup phase. And everyone knows that no one dates anymore, you just hook up and if it's good then maybe there's more.

PUA_Wanna_be · 2016-11-02T08:15:36+00:00

For ED, there are pills (this is not a medical advice). I always carry a pill of kamagra in my wallet, together with the emergency condom. Even when I don't use it, knowing that I have it with me kills any anxiety. And it's really cheap too. (As a bonus, most men also report it delays ejaculation)

For overall performance, you can learn some techniques, but I suspect you should actually do the opposite. I could make girls come several times even in my blue pill days. But later, when I started focusing on my pleasure, my fantasies and dominating the girl, the sex has gotten so much better for them, even if they don't come.

So my advice would be: Other than ED, enjoy that you got a girl in your bed, make the best out of it in that moment, and know that some of them will stick, some of them won't. Worrying about it is like spending your entire vacation wondering whether you left a stove on.

Willow-girl · 2016-11-02T13:21:33+00:00

Get to know a girl a little better before you jump her bones. Get an idea of what she likes in bed. It is hard to please a stranger! Could be the source of your ED probs, too.

The old idea about not having sex 'til the third date may have had some practical basis, lol.

Title	Can get girls attracted and have sex, but I'm terrible at sex and they lose interest
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	15
Comments	25
Date	November 1, 2016 9:14 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5als5c/can_get_girls_attracted_and_have_sex_but_im/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/can-get-girls-attracted-and-have-sex-but-im.183425 https://theredarchive.com/post/183425

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