I value the opinions of this community far higher than any other, I think I need some guidance on how I should feel about cheating. How am I supposed to feel?

machimus · 2016-01-10T09:32:21+00:00

Zoom out your perspective. It's not a great thing to do, but is it super important in the big picture? Like, will anyone remember this 100 years from now? Is it bad compared to Ted Bundy or the Holocaust or Comcast? No way, it's small potatoes. I personally don't approve, but also realize it's not the end of the world.

AfterC · 2016-01-10T14:13:14+00:00

Cheating is not what your care about. It's just what you believe you should focus on.

You just don't like this guy. Time to move out. That's all there is to it.

GuidoBandito · 2016-01-10T16:22:46+00:00

Having been cheated on and not willing to do the same to someone else, I still don't care if someone else does it. It's their life.

However, I see your dilemma as what will happen when his girlfriend finds out. Then, as a person living under the same roof, you now become involved and understandably you don't want to be. If this situation becomes more of an issue in this respect, you need to get out. If she brings the fight there, you can be put in the middle of it by her feels and hamster. If anything extreme happens between them, you can be put in danger both physically and legally. It truly is best to just walk away when you feel you've had enough.

(Source: I've had roommates that got the others into a similar situation.)

[deleted] · 2016-01-10T14:45:17+00:00

It all depends on your own feelings on the subject. There's no right and wrong. Personally I don't care if other people do it, but I will think less of them for doing it. That's because I see a relationship as an agreement. Unless otherwise specified I assume the default agreement in a relationship is monogamy because that's the norm whether you like it or not. If I enter into a monogamous relationship then I also agree to those terms and I should not cheat.

That's why I don't like it when people cheat in monogamous relationships, even though I don't think monogamy is natural.

htbf · 2016-01-10T16:51:13+00:00

As other said, there is no Red Pill prescribed line of action here.

However, there is a Red Pill behaviour you can have and that is aligning your actions with your wishes.

You're disgusted by this guy's behaviour. He doesn't respect his GF but he also doesn't respect you. Such a man should at least have the decency to be discreet, out of respect for other men.

If it didn't bother you in the slightest, then whatever, you can just ignore it and be about your business.

But it does bother you to live with him in these conditions, so you either 1/ move out, 2/ to get some decency as long as you have to share the place with each other.

bestCallEver · 2016-01-10T17:39:48+00:00

You've already gotten some great replies, but I'm going to throw one more perspective into the ring. As has been said there's no right or wrong way to "feel" about his cheating , but it could be that seeing him constantly lie to others makes it impossible for you to be friends with him because you just straight up don't trust him.

notevenatthestart · 2016-01-10T14:13:25+00:00

But I cannot tell what the red pill mentality to have here is.

Sexual strategy is amoral. There's no prescribed view to take and, honestly, I don't think it's worth your time to worry about what he's doing with his life.

In a sense, asking what the Red Pill says about cheating is like asking what Christianity says about purple or what current Brazilian military doctrine says about the diseases of goats' livers.

Still, here's my take on it:

But, in a situation where someone you live with is constantly cheating should I view that as red pill behaviour because he is spinng plates? or Should I view that as blue pill behaviour because he's wasting valuable time and resources on his girlfriend?

Who cares? Seriously: Who cares and why do they care? Why does answering that question have any relevance for you? In what way will it improve your life to decide whether your room-mate is wasting his time and resources or not?

How you should feel is uninterested in his behaviour except insofar as it affects you.

I read the red pill everyday. I reread saved threads that I think are of extreme use. I regularly make it a point to practice red pill attitudes as often as possible. I consider the red pill paramount to my life. But I cannot tell what the red pill mentality to have here is.

The deeper problem seems to be that you're chasing some idealised "red pill" version of yourself. Trading the blue pill fantasy for an addiction to the red pill subreddit where you have to check in with the Sacred Red Scrolls to make sure you're doing the Authorised Things as set forth by the High Red Priests is unhelpful.

You need to chill, take a step back, focus on yourself.

Remember that the Red Pill isn't just a set of commandments handed down from on high, but it's a philosophy. A philosophy that, at its core, has seeing the world for what it is, rationally, without fantasy, and ensuring that you derive the maximum benefit from it. If you're so focussed on the commandments and analysing every situation you come across that you forget to just let life happen to you then you're missing the point.

That's my take on it.

[deleted] · Sun Jan 10 20:02:19 2016 UTC

[permanently deleted]

Algernoq · 2016-01-10T14:34:32+00:00

Your roommate's cheating might arguably make his life better, but it's making your life worse. You don't need that anxiety. Whether his cheating is or is not "red pill", it's bluepill behavior for you to stick around being unhappy for his benefit. Either fix the situation, or leave.

I'm guessing your roommate is the alpha in your roommate situation...bad place for you to be. Since he's been dishonest with women, I'm guessing he's also been dishonest with you and you just didn't have the game to notice it. Don't wait around to get burned.

You broke frame by getting upset and overtly threatening your roommate. Powertalk is covert. He knows you're bothered but he doesn't care because you don't have the power to stop him or get what you want. You seriously threatened to "fuck with his life". This is insane. Move out ASAP, or get him to move out ASAP.

Title	I value the opinions of this community far higher than any other, I think I need some guidance on how I should feel about cheating. How am I supposed to feel?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	12
Date	January 10, 2016 9:25 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/40aofb/i_value_the_opinions_of_this_community_far_higher/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-value-the-opinions-of-this-community-far-higher.187359 https://theredarchive.com/post/187359

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