Just for the reference: I am coming from a very low place (obesity, complete social isolation, fucked up religiously conservative upbringing, etc.). I started working on myself two years and am improving and fixing my shit and am proud. I do recognize that I have a not very high SMV and very awkward/creepy body language and am not feeling guilty about it, but would like to fix it never the less.

So, what I recently realized is that my body language changes whenever I see something interesting in my vicinity. Flashy cars, things I hate, colourful advertisements, ... and women. Picture a child in a candy store; that would be me. Picture a man in his late thirties acting like that.

So, what do I do with my eyes instead of acknowledging every single woman that I come across in the street? (Believe me, it is that bad; I was brought up to walk looking at the pavement to avoid seeing women.)

I am aware that me staring is just a symptom. I am obsessed with women (having never had them in my life), and looking is just one way this neediness expresses itself. It is a catch-22 situation: I was brought to think of women as a big deal, I act around women as if they were a big deal, and they dry up and continue being a big deal in my life.