How do I control my gf better?

asd1100 · 2015-02-17T13:34:56+00:00

DUde, that is a trainwreck. Just leave.

We don't control women, we just become what they want, what they need. And a woman in a relationship with a man she actually likes will behave or be open to change her behavior and back of the crazy.

You need to understand that just because a girl is with you doesn't mean she likes you, you are just the most comfortable option available, the alternative is her being single, bored and lonely.

realdev · 2015-02-17T06:41:03+00:00

Eh, sounds like not the best relationship.

Speaking the "same language" is one of the more important aspects of a ltr.

feminazis_stalk_me · 2015-02-17T15:05:59+00:00

You control her by controlling yourself. You don't get into a fight with a woman who likes to argue. That's like stepping into the ring with a heavyweight fighter - you're outgunned and you will go down HARD. Mostly, this is because women don't care about logic when their emotions are all ramped up - they don't give a shit - they just want to vent their frustrations, and they are looking to pick a fight.

How do you deal with this, then? Simple. Do the following:

Decide if the argument is valid. Does she have a good point? Did you come home drunk again and shit in the potted plants? Or is she blowing up at you for no reason or for something petty?

If it's a valid concern, try to reason with her, console her or sit her down for a more calm conversation. If she's just being argumentative:

Be calm. Be stoic. Be the rock that she can break her waves on. Women need us to be their rock. They appreciate a man who has his emotions in check, so don't feed her emotions by joining the argument. Use firm eye contact, a gentle tone and tell her that you won't argue with her. When she calms down, you will discuss the issue with her at normal volume. And then - and this part is critical - YOU WALK AWAY AND LET HER CALM DOWN. You don't acknowledge her again until she's willing to talk rationally. You go to another room, check your Facebook and take your attention away from her - she can't argue without your participation.
Another technique you can use is what we refer to as "amused mastery" - or basically treating her like a child, and making her realize she's acting like a child. When children throw tantrums - which look a lot like her tantrums - do you get mad at them and lose your cool? No. Why? Because they're children! Instead, you put on an amused smirk and wait for them to calm down - or even poke fun at them and get them laughing to see how silly they are acting. The same works for women.

She knows she's acting crazy, but it doesn't matter, because she wants your attention and she's getting it - with negative reinforcement, you're basically TRAINING her to freak out. You need to reward her positive behaviors and discourage her negative behaviors with consequences. The consequences for her picking silly fights is you withdrawing your attention from her. Eventually, she will see that her tantrums will get her nowhere from you, and she will tone it down. This is when you reward her. Reward her efforts at not turning things into arguments. Hug her, kiss her and let her know that you're glad she didn't get upset. Be the adult.

Danedina · 2015-02-17T11:51:42+00:00

Assuming that you want to keep her, you need to put a little fear into her. It's time for some strong dread game. She believes she can spout off to you -- ie treat you like shit -- whenever she wants and there won't be any consequences. Now I'm not saying you should argue with her or intimidate her. Just the opposite. You need to pull away from her and make her believe that you could dump her for a better chick any time you wanted.

Less communication. More time away from her. Then sit back and see how she reacts. Even bitchier? Cut her loose. Starts treating you better? Give her more of your time.

ven5 · 2015-02-17T08:48:17+00:00

Tell her "woman! Calm thy tits!" But no really treat them the same way you'd treat shit-tests. The more you acknowledge (logically argue against) toxic behavior, the more you'll get of it. Reward good behaviors and ridicule (agree and amplify) bad ones.

Title	How do I control my gf better?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	9
Date	February 17, 2015 6:32 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2w62xa/how_do_i_control_my_gf_better/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-control-my-gf-better.191979 https://theredarchive.com/post/191979

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