Wife kicked me out of bed

[deleted] · 2014-06-29T14:51:46+00:00

we both did things we didn't mean to do

Abusive partners love to say shit like this. It absolves their guilt by shifting half the blame on to the other person. There are always two sides, but if all you did was not being the baby monitor, then her behavior is fucked up.

As for what to do, most of the other posts covered it.

zyk0s · 2014-06-29T13:12:55+00:00

How do I deal with this short term?

I would continue doing what you've done. Withdraw emotional contact, let her worry, and wait for the apology. When she apologizes, I'd plow her and give her another chance.

Long term?

Stop being a bitch. I don't see how you could have gotten physically removed from your bed, by a woman. This is coming from a guy who's 5'7 and 140lbs.

bicker and fight

There's only an argument if you argue with her. If I were in your situation (I came upstairs and she tried to kick me out), I'd just lie on the bed, ignore her, and fall asleep.

captainbloodd · 2014-06-29T21:18:40+00:00

Next time she tells you to sleep on the couch, tell her you'll do her one better. Grab your keys and leave without telling her where you're going. Check into a hotel and go Comms dark for the night. Next day come home like nothing's wrong. If she brings it up, tell her she didn't want you there, so you didn't want to be there . Don't tell her where you stayed, be vague and change subject.

kami_kakushi · 2014-06-29T20:34:33+00:00

your wife kicks you out of your bed? your wife kicks you? shouts at you?

.... you fucked up bad

marrying a violent person, why do that?

i hope she doesnt hit your kid too, and if she does you gotta get evidence of it, and have her removed from both your life and the childs life.

if she hits the kid, the kid may grow up to be an abuser too

fix this shit

mistermorteau · 2014-06-29T13:56:55+00:00

Outside the context of this subreddit, I feel like I just read a story about domestic violence. She litterally use her strengh for force you to behave how she wants to.
No matter what is your weight, your height, your sex, it's domestic violence. If you don't believe me, you can imagine the opposite, you using your strengh for coerce her, would it be domestic violence or not ?
And in the context she used violence for punish you, what would it be if you slap her because she failed toddler's food ?

I know my comment can sound not enough manly, but in my country a man die every 10 days because of domestic violence, and I remind you the video where we seen both situations of a man agressed his girlfriend in public, and then the opposite.

Short term : take care of yourself and your kid, and don't care about her.

Long term : send her to a violence counselor, if she refuses move with your kids to your parents or her parents place, and explain them the situation : she is violent, you are scared for your safety and toddler's one.

Mrswhiskers · 2014-06-29T14:26:57+00:00

Probably going to get shit for this. But I've been married for 3 years, but with my spouse for 9.

When you're ready, apologize for forgetting the baby monitor. She will in turn apologize for acting so irrationally. If you're ready to let it go, say "I forgive you." Not "It's ok" not "thanks." not anything else. Say "I forgive you." It will take her aback for a second. Because you're the only person who has the power to forgive her. If your not ready but still want to apologize and she says sorry say "I'm not ready to forgive you yet".

Then tell her it was unacceptable for her to hit you and if she ever does it again, she will literally be sleeping in the yard because you will pick her ass up and put her there in her night gown (or whatever she's wearing at the time). Use a calm voice. Stay calm. If she wants to hamster and talk let her. At the end of it, maintain what you said before, and reiterate that hitting you is unacceptable and if it happens again she will end up outside no matter the weather.

Then, kiss your wife, go hiking, have a good time, and have sexy times in the shower after your long day.

needathrowawayplease · 2014-06-29T21:04:36+00:00

Stop being a complete pussy..

If your wife kicks you, pushes you, does anything physical with you.

GRAB HER FUCKING ARMS AND RESTRAIN HER. YOU ARE A MAN, act like one.

You should never, ever be in a physical confrontation or fight with a significant other. But if she starts one, you end it. Pin her down, hold her hands behind her back or pinned to the bed. Let her go when she's calmed down.

You do have an abusive wife. But 9/10 times men are physically stronger than women, you have the physical capacity to prevent your own abuse.

Title	Wife kicked me out of bed
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	28
Comments	20
Date	June 29, 2014 12:09 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/29dyo3/wife_kicked_me_out_of_bed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/wife-kicked-me-out-of-bed.195108 https://theredarchive.com/post/195108

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